Still with me?  OK… here goes.  In no particular order.

You think Hogan looks old here? This was in 2008!

Mandatory Retirement Age

Now before you get your panties in a bunch realize that I’m not talking about a literal “happy birthday, you’re fired” retirement age.  I’m talking about that point in time where the wrestling business has passed you by.  Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair & Sting… I’m looking directly at the three of you.  You guys are legends of the wrestling business.  In fact, you’re probably (arguably) 3 of the top 5 or 10 wrestlers of all time.  But it’s over.  Please go away.  Don’t step in the ring.  Father time has caught up with you and you simply cannot “bring it” any more.  If you want to stick around the business in some non-performer role I’ve got no problem with it, but your days cutting promos, blading and trying to hang with the young guys are over.

Specifically talking to Flair and Hogan here.  Guys, you’ve ruined your legacy.  Note that I didn’t say “you’re ruining your legacy.”  Nope… that would imply that there’s a chance of NOT ruining it.  You’re both well beyond that.  You’re not only shells of your former selves, but you’re downright embarrassing at this point.  I’m sorry to say it cause I’ve got nothing but respect for you, but you’re pathetic.

And before you think that this is only an anti-TNA rant the WWE has its share of guys that are WELL beyond their prime.  The Undertaker is my all time favorite wrestler… but hung on way too long (though he only works about 3-6 months a year).  Bret Hart keeps trying to roll his way to the ring.  Kevin Nash finds himself in the middle of the main program.  Fucking Jerry Lawler main evented a PPV last year and made his FIRST WrestleMania appearance.  I hate the term “youth movement” but in this case it’s necessary.

So much for that title lineage...

Less Titles That Mean More

Ever since WWE purchased WCW (and essentially ECW) there are just too damn many titles.  WWE has the WWE Championship, World Heavyweight Championship, US, Intercontinental, Tag Team, Divas, and pretty soon (in all likelihood) Internet.  TNA has the World Heavyweight, Television, Tag Team, X Division, Knockout, and Knockout Tag Team.  In 2 federations, that’s 13 titles.  It seems like every match on every PPV is for a title.  They’ve been WAY watered down.  The WWE should combine the US & Intercontinental and the WWE and World titles.  TNA has no need a Knockout Tag Team title.  There’s too many titles and because of that they don’t mean shit.

Back in the day it MEANT something to be the Intercontinental Champion.  Honky Tonk Man was one of the best heels in history when he held the IC strap.  Why?  Cause the title meant something and he cheated to hold onto it.  Bret Hart and the British Bulldog main evented a PPV for the Intercontinental title in one of the best matches of all time.  These titles are nothing more than props at this point… they’re swapped with such regularity that it becomes difficult to even keep track of who’s champ.  The WWE championship and the TNA World Title have changed hands 6 times so far this year. The WWE & IC titles 4.  Those “prestigious” titles just simply should be swapping that often… it diminishes them.  I’d absolutely LOVE for Alberto Del Rio to hold onto the title through WrestleMania this year.  It’d make his match absolutely HUGE regardless of who he’s wrestling.  But if history is any indication… he’ll drop it in a PPV or two.

Finally starting to showcase Ziggler's brilliance

Push More Talent

I understand that some people sell more merchandise than others.  I understand that there will always be talent that rises to the top and thus gets more airtime that others.  I understand that this is a business and the feds are in it to make money.  But Jesus Christ… if I’ve got to hear that damn John Cena theme song one more time I’m going to shoot someone.  If I need to watch Eric Bischoff roll down to the ring to babble for 20 minutes with Hulk Hogan (brother) I’m going to puke (brother).  There’s a whole SLEW of talented guys that are relegated to secondary shows (Smackdown) or worse yet Internet or house shows.  We always hear about how both WWE and TNA are cutting back their rosters.  Back in the day both the WWF and WCW/NWA rosters were huge.  You know why?  Cause there were jobbers.  There were guys on the roster who’s only reason for being employed was to lose.  To make the stars look good.  The Iron Mike Sharpe’s and Barry O’s of the world are no longer there.  That’s a very bad thing.

Not only did we have jobbers, but the shows weren’t based around 1 or 2 top guys.  In the “Attitude Era” damn near every guy on the roster could win on any given night.  Damn near every guy could and would main event a show.  Part of that is that there was an overload of talent in the wrestling business at that time.  But another BIG part of it was the fact that they’d had enough TV time to build their characters and people knew who they were… and cared about them.  Sure, there were guys that stood out and had more TV time (Rock, Austin, Hogan, Hall & Nash) but those shows didn’t REVOLVE around them like WWE does Cena and TNA does Hogan/Bischoff these days.  Note to TNA, please see point #1 above.

I saw both Benoit & Guerrero win titles at WrestleMania XX. Both Gone.

Drug Testing

The drug testing policies in both the WWE and TNA are complete shams.  I don’t care what Vince McMahon and Dixie Carter say, it’s not being addressed.  Just in the last couple of months, Kurt Angle, Jeff & Matt Hardy, and Sin Cara (off the top of my head) have been linked to issues. These aren’t “isolated incidences” as we’re lead to believe.  Here’s the most comprehensive list of dead wrestlers I could find… 261 of them.   Sure, not all of them were drug related, but quite a few of them were.  Not just quite a few… more than quite a few.  Like, a shit ton more.

Just since the year 2000, check out this (very partial) list:

• Gary Albright (heart attack age 34)
• Bobby Duncam Jr. (drug overdose age 34)
• Yokozuna (heart attack age 34)
• Terry Gordy (heart attack age 40)
• Russ Haas (heart failure age 27)
• British Bulldog (heart attack age 39)
• Curt Hennig (drug overdose age 44)
• Miss Elizabeth (drug overdose age 42)
• Road Warrior Hawk (heart attack age 46)
• Hercules Hernandez (heart attack age 45)

Seeing a pattern yet?

• Big Boss Man (heart attack age 42)
• Eddie Guerrro (heart failure age 38)
• Bam Bam Bigelow (drug overdose age 45)
• Test (drug overdose age 34)

And that’s just the names most people would know.  Folks… it’s an issue.  Plain and simple.  There are just WAY too many heart issues for folks that are that young and in that good of shape.  Hell, if all these people are having “natural” heart attacks in the shape their in… I’m fucked.  Institute a mandatory drug testing policy with mandatory penalties.  3 strikes and you’re fucked.  Go home forever.  See you on the “Where Are They Now” DVD in a few years.

I’ve got a few more, but I’ve already ranted and rambled for over 1,200 words so I’ll stop with these.  I’m very passionate about this stuff because regardless of how much crap I take for it, I love professional wrestling.  I’ve enjoyed it for 3 decades and plan on enjoying it for many more to come.  I just really think that if some of these changes were made not only would I enjoy it more, but more wrestling fans would return or find it for the first time.

What do you think… Am I off base?  Comments welcome!

Randy Savage, best knowing for his time in the WWF with his wife/manager Miss Elizabeth, was one of the best performers in the wrestling business.  While he was great as a face (a good guy) I always preferred his work as a heel (a bad guy).  He had the ability to make everyone in the crowd absolutely DESPISE him.  He made my list of Top 10 WrestleMania Matches for the match he had with Ricky Steamboat at WrestleMania III.  Many consider this the best Mania match of all time and I don’t think I can disagree with that statement.

Wrestlers of today can learn a lot by watching tapes of the Macho Man in the ring but could probably learn more by listening to his promos… In my opinion he was one of the best of all time.  All Slim Jim jokes aside, Randy Savage was one of the best all around performers that the wrestling business has ever seen.   There have been rumors for years that he and Vince McMahon don’t get along anymore. I won’t go into them here… look it up if you’re interested.  Regardless I’d like to make a statement to the WWE and specifically to Vince McMahon.

“Vince… do the right thing.
Put Macho Man in the WWE Hall Of Fame NOW.  It’s long overdue.”

R.I.P. Macho.  And thank you for the memories.

Each year as part of our festivities, Pip and I watch the show, drink a few beers and make our match predictions.  When running down the card I realized that if there’s one match that’s a lock it’s that Snooki is going to win.  That pisses me off quite frankly but I can understand why it’s the case.  Vince isn’t going to bring in some high priced “talent” only the let them lose.  Let’s face it.  If Snooki wins it’s the WWE that will also be #winning (thanks to Charlie Sheen for that reference) as it will be covered on MTV, TMZ, ABC, ESPN and a bunch of other networks.  For all the other things that Vince McMahon is, he’s a brilliant businessman.

Not convinced that Ms. Polizzi is going to win?  I won’t go so far as to say I guarantee it (cause let’s face it… anything can happen in the WWE) but I think there’s some pretty compelling evidence from history.  Here’s a list of celebrities that have competed at annual WrestleMania events.  Check it out.

• WrestleMania
  Mr. T/Hulk Hogan vs. Piper/Orndorff
  Mr. T and Hogan get the victory over Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff. 
  Full event review
• WrestleMania 2
  NFL vs. WWF Battle Royal
  Technically I suppose this would be a loss for the celebrities as Andre The Giant won the event.  That said, I think it’s fair to say that the most “over” folks in the match were the NFL guys.
  Full event review
• WrestleMania XI
  Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
  Taylor gets the win over Bam Bam in what is generally considered the worst Mania in history.
  Full event review
• WrestleMania XV
  Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn in a Brawl For All
  Butterbean (who I’m not sure I consider a “celebrity” either) knocks out Bart in 17 seconds.
• WrestleMania 21
  Akebono vs. The Big Show (Sumo Match)
  Not sure there are any winners when you’ve got two guys in diapers, but Akebono gets the official victory.
• WrestleMania 23
  Bobby Lashley/Donald Trump vs. Umaga/Vince McMahon in a Hair vs. Hair Match
  Bobby Lashley gets the job done as Vince gets shaved bald in the middle of the ring by the Donald.
• WrestleMania XXIV
  Floyd Mayweather vs. The Big Show
  Floyd Mayweather knocks out the Giant.

So there you have it.  With the exception of a battle royal I can’t think of one time in history where a celebrity lost a WrestleMania match.  Still think Snooki has any chance of losing on Sunday?  Either way, it’s going to be a great event.  Bring on MANIA!!!

The Top 10 Posts Of 2010 (Based On Number Of Views)

#10 – WrestleMania VI – The Ultimate Challenge
This is part of my WrestleMania Project where I’m reviewing every show since the beginning.  As you’ll soon learn (if you don’t already know) I’m a wrestling geek.  This particular show was great as the main event pitted Intercontinental Champion the Ultimate Warrior against WWF World Champion Hulk Hogan.  Tremendous.

#9 – Robert B. Parker – R.I.P.
My all time favorite author Robert B. Parker (creator of Spenser of Spenser For Hire fame) passed away in January.  This was my, “Thank you and goodbye” post.

#8 – Top Holiday Movies
The top 10 and 5 honorable mentions.  If you’re looking for some good movies to check out next holiday season this would be a good list to start with.

#7 – Finally Something Good From The Birdman
Another wrestling related post.  Koko B. Ware had one of the worst gimmicks in wrestling history (in my opinion).  He was a “jobber” as smart wrestling fans say… a guy that loses to the big talent.  Yet he’s in the WWE Hall Of Fame.  All of my angst aside, I found something to like about him.

#6 – Top 10 Movie Villains (Pt. 1)
One of only 2 posts on the entire blog that I didn’t write.  My good buddy Pip put together a list of his top villains.  Pure gold.  Unfortunately, part 2 has yet to be delivered *hint hint*

#5 – The WrestleMania 26 Drinking Game
Drinking is fun.  Wrestling is fun.  Mix them together and you’ve got a great time.  This is last year’s version.  If you’re interested in the current year’s list you can check it out here.

#4 – Mint.com FAIL
Mint.com is a (supposedly) site that allows you to keep track of your money, create and maintain a budget, etc.  This post talks about my (brief) experience with the site.

#3 – Top 10 Guilty Pleasure Movies
I love top 10 lists.  Here’s a list of movies that I hate to admit that I love.

#2 – Harry Hamlin Made Me Smile (in 2010)
The other post on the site that is not written by me.  Pip has 2 out of the top 10… you’d think that’d be enough of an ego boost to get him to join me once in a while?  This is a report of a video game that Pip played with an interesting cameo.

#1 – Top 80′s Action Movies
Thank GOD I managed to get the top spot on my own blog!  Another top 10 list… this time my favorite 80′s action flicks.  Love it!

As in previous years, Pip and I started out early creating our WrestleMania 27 drinking game that will help us along the way to building this year’s Beeramid.  We’ve actually laid off the last couple of weeks creating new rules partially because we already have 15 rules (remember, the list is modified up until game day) and partially because we had really no idea what matches we were going to see.  At this point we’re only a couple of weeks out and there are officially 7 matches on the card.  A card that’s shaping up nicely if I do say so myself.

1. World Heavyweight Championship – Edge (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio
   Rumble winner Del Rio goes after his first WWE title.  This should be a good one.  They’ve been building Del Rio up pretty hard over the last couple of weeks.  I’m guessing we’ll see Christian enter into this one somewhere alon the way.  My pick at this point is Del Rio to take the title.
2. WWE Championship – The Miz (c) vs. John Cena
   Miz has been nothing short of AWESOME lately.  Up until Rumble I didn’t think Miz was anything more than a transitional champion.  Now I’m almost sure he’ll walk out of Mania with the title after defeating Cena.
3. Triple H vs. The Undertaker
   Taker and Shawn stole the show for the last two years.  He’s a year older, but I’m guessing he’ll do it again this year with HHH.  The WWE’s toughest job is making it appear that “The Streak” may actually end.  Taker goes 19-0.
4. Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole (with Jack Swagger)
   I’ll put this in the “who gives a shit” category, but I’m guessing it’ll be rather entertaining (especially with special guest referee Stone Cold Steve Austin.  Jerry Lawler has never been on a Mania card.  I’m guessing he gets a win in his debut event.
5. Randy Orton vs. CM Punk
   Not sure what’s happened to Orton’s heat as of late.  Punk is the best heel on the show in my opinion.  This has the makings of a 5 star match in the middle of the card.  Thinking Punk should go over, but with politics backstage Orton will get the win.
6. Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes
   I always enjoy watching Rey wrestle.   I can’t stand the Cody Rhodes character so I’m very much looking forward to Rey getting a big win here.
7. Trish Stratus, Snooki and John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler, LayCool
   Um… OK.

Oh yeah… don’t forget about the most electrifying man in sports and entertainment… The Rock will be the guest host of this year’s show.  He and John Cena have been having an epic war of words of late so you can pretty much guarantee that Rocky will be getting involved.

What about Kane, Sheaumus, Big Show, Kevin Nash/Diesel, Wade Barrett, and the rest of the Divas?  Like I said, it’s gonna be a great WrestleMania.  Thanks for stepping it up Vince!

As for TNA I certainly can’t fault them either… these are big names in the wrestling business and they’d be stupid just to let them sit at home or worse yet to go to work for another competing promotion.  The problem that I’ve got with TNA here is the WAY they’re using their talent.  When I tuned in a couple of weeks back I could have sworn I was watching a WCW Monday Nitro show from about 10 years ago.  I was given a show with Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan calling the shots, Hall & Nash causing a ruckus and Sting hanging out in the rafters.  I mean really… is this the best you can do TNA?

In any case, I got to thinking about just how may retreads TNA actually had so I went and did some research.  Without further adieu, here’s what I found from the current TNA roster.

1. A.J. Styles (Allen Jones) – WCW
2. Bobby Lashley (Franklin Lashley) – WWE
3. Brian Knobbs (Brian Yandrisovitz) – WCW & WWE as part of the Nasty Boys
4. Brother Devon (Devon Hughes) – ECW & WWE as part of the Dudley Boys
5. Brother Ray (Mark LoMonaco) – ECW & WWE as part of the Dudley Boys
6. D’Angelo Dinero (Elijah Burke) – WWE
7. Dr. Stevie (Michael Manna) – ECW, WCE & WWE as Steven Richards, Big Steevie Cool, etc.
8. Jeff Hardy (Jeff Hardy) – WWE
9. Jeff Jarrett (Jeff Jarrett) – WWE, WCW as Jeff Jarrett and Double J
10. Jerry Sags (Jerome Saganovich) – WCW & WWE as part of the Nasty Boys
11. Kevin Nash (Kevin Nash) – WCW, WWE as Diesel, Kevin Nash, etc.
12. Kurt Angle (Kurt Angle) – WWF, WWE
13. Matt Morgan (Matt Morgan) – WWE
14. Mick Foley (Mick Foley) – WCW,ECW, WWE as Mankind, Dude Love, etc.
15. Mr. Anderson (Ken Anderson) – WWE as Mr. Kennedy
16. Orlando Jordan (Orlando Jordan) – WWE
17. Raven (Scott Levy) – ECW, WCW, WWE
18. Rhino (Terry Gerin) – ECW, WWE
19. Scott Hall (Scott Hall) – WCW, WWE as Razor Ramon, Diamond Stud, Scott Hall, etc.
20. Scott Steiner (Scott Rechsteiner) – WCW, ECW, WWE
21. Sean Morley (Sean Morley) – WWE as Val Venis
22. Sting (Steve Borden) – WCW
23. Syxx-Pac (Sean Waltman) – WCW, WWE as X-Pac, 1-2-3 Kid
24. Tomko (Travis Tomko) – WWE as Tyson Tomko
25. Daffney (Shannon Spruill) – WCW
26. Ric Flair (Richard Fliehr) – WCW, WWE
27. Taz  (Peter Senerchia) – ECW, WWE
28. Tara (Lisa Marie Varon) – WWE as Victoria
29. Christy Hemme (Christy Hemme) – WWE
30. Eric Bischoff  (Eric Bischoff)
31. Hector Guerrero (Hector Guerrero) – WWE as the Gobbledy Gooker
32. Hulk Hogan (Terry Bollea)  – WWE, WCW

32 names.  And that’s not to mention some of the off camera talent such as writers, road agents and referees.  The list grows even more if you include folks that have had developmental contracts with the WWE.  One thing that I found very entertaining is the stories behind some of these folks.  Why they went to TNA, why they left WWE, etc.  If you’re looking for some good stories head to Google or Wiki and enjoy!

I have to say that I’ll be incredibly let down if they DON’T pay off this angle.  I’m not saying that I need to see a WrestleMania match, but it would be positively stupid if they brought Bret back for one night to go against TNA only to let it go away without a payoff.

Time will tell.

A couple of weeks back, relative newcomer Sheamus pulled an upset and defeated WWE Champion John Cena for the title.  I (like most WWE fans) gave an audible “huh” when this happened.  I’m all for giving young guys a push in the business and getting away from the old guard of pro wrestling.  But this is just a really weird move in my book.

1. Dude is pasty white… he just doesn’t “look” like a wrestler.  He’s certainly got the build for it, but he looks like effing Casper the Friendly Wrestler.  I’m certainly not judging him… well, now that I think about it, yeah I am judging.
2. He’s garbage on the mic – I’ve long been of the opinion that a heel champion doesn’t really have to be a great wrestler as long as he’s got awesome mic skills.  Unfortunately, Sheamus has got a long way to go to be considered a great talker.
3. He’s decent in the ring – he looks very stiff in the ring.  I certainly haven’t seen all of his matches, but from what I’ve seen I’m not overly impressed.

So the question is why?  Did the WWE make a mistake?  Were they sick of Cena as champ and just had to get the belt off him?  What I can say is Sheamus was a mid card match against a pseudo jobber on this week’s RAW.  Not sure if that was just because of Bret Hart’s return but it seems to me that your champion should be getting better billing than this.

I could be way off base here, but with WrestleMania coming up in just a few short months I’m REALLY hoping that this dude isn’t near main event status by then.  If that’s going to be the case they need to get that damn belt off him ASAP.