“Cheers (Drink To That)” – Rihanna

Cheers to the freakin weekend
I drink to that, yeah yeah
Oh let the Jameson sink in
I drink to that, yeah yeah
Don’t let the bastards get ya down
Turn it around with another round
There’s a party at the bar everybody putcha glasses up and I drink to that
I drink to thaaaaaaaat.

Life’s too short to be sittin’ round miserable
People gon’ talk whether you doing bad or good, yeah
Got a drink on my mind and my mind on my money, yeah
Looking so bomb, gonna find me a honeyyy
Got my Ray-Bans on and I’m feelin’ hella cool tonight, yeah
Everybody’s vibin’ so don’t nobody start a fight, yeah-ah-ah-ah

Cheers to the freakin weekend
I drink to that, yeah yeah
Oh, let the Jameson sink in
I drink to that, yeah yeah
Don’t let the bastards get ya down
Turn it around with another round
There’s a party at the bar everybody putcha glasses up and I drink to thaaaaat
I drink to thaaaaaaaat.

Bout to hop on the bar, put it all on my card tonight, yeah

Might be mad in the morning but you know we goin hard tonight
It’s getting coyote ugly up in here, no Tyra
It’s only up from here, no downward spiral
Got my Ray-Bans on and I’m feelin’ hella cool tonight, yeah
Everybody’s vibin’ so don’t nobody start a fight, yeaaaahhh

Cheers to the freakin weekend
I drink to that, yeah yeah
Oh let the Jameson sink in
I drink to that, yeah yeah
Don’t let the bastards get ya down
Turn it around with another round
There’s a party at the bar everybody putcha glasses up and I drink to that
I drink to thaaaaaaaaat.

Cheers to the freakin weekend
I drink to that, yeah yeah
Oh let the Jameson sink in
I drink to that, yeah yeah
Don’t let the bastards get ya down
Turn it around with another round
There’s a party at the bar everybody putcha glasses up and I drink to that
I drink to thaaaaaaaat.
And I drink to thaaaat.
I drink to thaaaaaaat.
And I drink to that.

I’m heading to Indy later this month to hang out with Pip and though we don’t really NEED an anthem for our twice a year debauchery, this just seems like it was written with us in mind   Rihanna’s rocking some sort of rasta/Jamaican accent here which makes her that much hotter (if that’s possible).  Enjoy!

Saturday was “get away day” as we traveled up to Put In Bay for the afternoon.  We had some travel snafus as we’re prone to do, but the boys absolutely LOVED taking Miller’s Ferry over to the island, speeding around on the golf cart, going to Perry’s Cave and having ice cream at Dairy Queen.  On the way home (after a luxurious dinner at Taco Bell), we got to see quite a few fireworks displays from the highway which was way cool.

Sunday was a crazy busy day which started at the pool.  G went off the diving board for the first time!  On the way out, we hopped a ride on the local Rocket Car which was a big hit!

After  stop at home for a nap and a shower, we were back up to the club for a cookout and fireworks with Grandma, Gagi, Uncle Mark and Aunt Meagan.  WHAT FUN!

Monday the weather was absolutely beautiful and we took full advantage.  We had a leisurely breakfast at home on the patio and the boys were in the sandbox and we set up the sprinklers to let them run through.  In the evening, we headed up to take in the Solon fireworks with Grandma, Pop & Gramps.  Other than the fact that it took forever and a day to get out of there we had a blast!  (Note to Solon’s finest… please don’t park your cruiser in the right lane when you’ve got 4,000 people trying to file out of the Community Park.  You’re causing more harm than good.)

Watching The Fireworks

And finally… here’s the finale of the fireworks from Solon – a great way to end a great weekend!

However… wanted to write about my weekend project.  The Sandbox.  The boys have had a small sandbox for the last couple of years and it’s quite frankly become too small for them (or more accurately they’ve become too large for it).  So… the wife and I have been looking for alternatives and the alternative that we landed on was to build one.

Seems like a simple undertaking: build a box.  4 sides, no floor… maybe a couple of seats.  The thing just needs to hold sand right?  How hard could it be?  Well…

3 trips to Home Depot, a bloodied thumb and index finger, hamstrings that feel like I ran a marathon and a back that feels like I’ve been working as a pack mule later I’m here to tell you that building a sandbox isn’t all that easy.  I’m DAMN lucky that my dad was there to help me through it.  (On a side note, it’s been quite a while since my dad and I have worked on a “project” together.  It brought back some great memories – love you Dad.)

So now that we’ve got it built (7 ft by 7 ft, 10 inches deep) it’s time to fill it with sand.  Naturally this isn’t going to be an easy task either cause based on how big we built it we’re looking at a ton of sand to fill it.  And yes, I’m being literal… a TON (as in 2,000 lbs).  So I either need to find someone who’ll deliver that much sand (and not rip up my yard in the process) or I’m going to be lugging 50 lb bags of sand.  But that’s (probably) a post for another day.

All I’ve got to say in closing is I hope to hell that G & C love this sandbox.

In no particular order:

1. Being a dad allows you to be a kid.   I have a tendency to do some stupid things.  The wife does not like this.  However, in the eyes of my boys these same things make me a hero.
2. Kids who have an outgoing personality can be dangerous.  Watch out ladies!
3. I have less time to keep myself in shape now that I’m a dad.  I don’t care… there always seems to be an opportunity for a workout.
4. Kids pick up on stuff.  This includes your language, your likes and dislikes.  It also includes what you watch on television and what you like to eat.
5. Sometimes being a parent isn’t what you think it will be.
6. Kids say some funny stuff.  Don’t believe me?  Here’s another example.
7. When you think your kids are safe they will find a way to get hurt.  No… seriously.
8. Potty training sucks.  Plain and simple.
9. A child doused in Miller Lite is a terrible thing… but kind of funny at the same time.
10. Weekends are for family.  And they’re awesome.

So there’s a look back at my first 5 years.  I’m a little fatter, a little wiser but simultaneously a little dumber from hanging out with these yahoos.  But I wouldn’t change a thing.  I’ve been covered in poop, barfed on, laughed at, jumped on and ridden.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… I love being a dad.

Happy birthday G.  Love you buddy.

Friday:
After work and dinner on Friday night, we needed to take Mom’s truck to the Nissan dealership so they could work on it Saturday morning.  After that, we decided to do some shopping so Dad could have some supplies for the weekend’s activities.  We hit up Lowe’s and the  boys got to drive on quite a few lawnmowers, check out the blowers and edgers and generally have a great time.  Before we knew it it was WELL past the boys’ bedtime but we said, “Screw it, it’s summer” and opted for late night Dairy Queen before going to bed.  I think my tweet (at 10:33 PM) sums it up perfectly:

Terrible parenting on display. (@ Dairy Queen) http://4sq.com/c3PuHg

However, I will say this. Based on the joy on the boys’ faces while they were eating their DQ, I’ll be a “bad parent” every day of the week.  Guess I’m not a bad parent after all

Saturday:
Saturday morning was reserved for working in the yard.  G and C are always up for helping dad, so out we went to trim the trees.  If you’re read this blog in the past you know they’re HUGE fans of any power tool or lawn equipment (lawnmower, blower, edger, etc.) so they were a tad bit disappointed that I was trimming the trees with a hand tool, but they quickly got over it.  Mom was out there helping us as well and though the job took about 4 times as long as it should have (thanks to some “help” from the boys) we had a great time.  The trees got a long overdue “haircut” and I was happy to knock something off my “honey do” list (which continues to grow by the way).  After lunch and nap we decided to take a trip to the zoo and we discovered something very important… evening is the PERFECT time to go to the zoo.  There’s almost nobody there, it’s no so damn hot and you can park nice and close.  The parking thing may not sound like a huge deal, but when you’ve got a 2 year old who weighs as much as  a small walrus and he decides, “You should carry me”, that kind of stuff comes into play big time.

After the zoo closed (yep… we were that family that closed down the zoo) we were already on that side of town, so we decided to go to one of Mom’s favorite restaurants Carrabba’s.  I’m happy to say that the boys were very good until the very end of the meal where C decided he’d rather make modern art with his spaghetti than eat it.  Note to self… stick with pizza or chicken fingers for the next couple of years.  Spaghetti is just too much of a reach. We decided to continue the weekend of kid-dom with a stop at McDonald’s on the way home to pick up a shake for the boys.  This was a little bit earlier (9:48 PM) but still WAY past bed time.  However, hearing G say, “Daddy, I sure do love milkshakes”, totally made it worth it.

Sunday:
Mom had decided (unbeknown to me) that we’d be spending the day at Wildwater Kingdom (formerly Geauga Lake’s water park).  It was like a billion degrees outside yesterday so you can imagine how few people had the same idea (please recognize the sarcasm).  As I get older, I find that I’m essentially an albino when it comes to sunburn so even though I applied some sunblock I can HEAR my skin creak this morning.  We headed over at around noon and the boys had a blast.  Not sure why, but the G-man is terrified of deep water this year (deep being defined as anything over 3 feet) but he did manage to do quite a bit of sliding and absolutely LOVES the big kid slides.  Per Mom’s plan, we headed home for lunch and nap time (which Super Dad partook in as well).  Even though the sky was looking rather ominous, we headed back to the part around 5 for another round of water park fun.  We just about made it to our chairs when the heavens opened up.  I’m not talking a little rain here… I’m talking thunder, lightening, wind and rain akin to Raiders Of The Lost Ark.  As we sat there eating our $5 slushy (which only half of us were eating cause G wouldn’t try it and Mom hates chewing ice) Mom and I just looked and one another and laughed.  Couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.  After about an hour or so, the storm passed and the park re-opened.  I’m SO happy that we stayed cause we had an absolute BLAST!!!

We had the place essentially to ourselves.  Mom and Dad got to go on a couple of the “adult slides”, we hit up the tidal wave pool (which we’d missed during our morning trip) and the boys got to slide… and slide… and slide some more.  I simply cannot tell you how awesome it was to watch C’s face as he slid down.  Eyes and mouth WIDE open each and every time.  Even the G-man with his recent predilection toward tantrums had an awesome time.  Once again, we closed the place down and as we walked toward our car (which was the only one left in the parking lot) it was clear that everyone had a good time.  We closed out the weekend with one last trip for ice cream (three days in a row) and it was home for a shower and bed time.

Final Thoughts :

1. This post is much longer that I had anticipated.
2. I’m not sure when it happened, but I can no longer be in the sun.   See The Final Wedding Weekend for additional proof.
3. The “protective webbing” in a swimsuit does nothing of the sort.  It should be renamed “the chafing webbing”.  Good lord.
4. Busy weekends like this are what memories are made of.

Saturday started out very nicely.  We decided not to go to soccer as the G-man wasn’t feeling well and we were certain that the fields would have been complete crap based on all the rain we’d recently received.  With that decision behind us we were free to have a lazy morning around the house which included scrambled eggs, smoothies, and pancakes.  There’s nothing quite like a quiet (relatively) breakfast with my wife and kids.

The big event for Saturday was the G-man’s first movie!  Pop took him and his mom to the movies to see Toy Story 3D.  I stayed home with C so I didn’t get to see how cute he was but based on what A said I’m sure my heart would have melted.  Hearing her describe him sitting there with his feet up, his 3D glasses on and his popcorn was just awesome and really brought a smile to my face.  At one point he leaned over to his mom and asked if the bad men were going to get him.  Adorable.

Later that evening A and I got to have an kid free evening out.  We went to dinner with my bro and his wife at Crop Bistro & Bar.  I’m not a “foodie” but if you’re in Cleveland I’d highly recommend it.  Food, atmosphere and especially the company were amazing.  A and I were also celebrating the anniversary of our first date… 16 years together.  Wow.  Not sure where the time went but I’ve loved every minute of it.

Sunday was cutting day (as Thursday was rain filled).  I’ve talked previously about G’s love for all things power tool.  I figured I’d pull out all the stops as Super Dad and got him his own blower!  I fear that I’ve opened Pandora’s Box but I can’t tell you how happy he was to be out there blowing leaves with Dad.  After the leaves were gone we cut the grass and put up some Halloween decorations.  Uncle Kent got engaged yesterday (congrats my man!) so Mom was out of the house in the afternoon with he and his new fiance Melissa.  The boys needed a nap so I stayed home and after they got up we did a couple of errands.  On the way home I decided to really up the Super Dad quotient and stopped at McDonalds for some fries… sure it was a cheap way to score some brownie points with the boys (and to piss off mom in the process) but the smiles on their faces while they ate their fries made it all worth it.

Sunday night dinner is generally a pretty laid back affair.  Last night was BW3s for the boys and I which means WINGS!!!  I can no longer get by with a dozen as the last time we did that I got 4 wings… MAN do those boys eat.  After dinner G and C got some home made applesauce from grandma which they douse with cinnamon.  G got a little over zealous and managed to get some in his eye.  Note to everyone out there.  Cinnamon hurts like a son of a bitch when it gets in your eye.  At least that’s what I gathered from G’s reaction.

All in all I didn’t get nearly enough knocked off my list but I had a great time with the boys and A.  In the grand scheme of things that’s all I was hoping for this weekend… a complete success!

This weekend’s travel was not without incident (is it ever?)

There’s no way to get directly from Cleveland to Charleston so we had to connect through Charlotte.  Not a big deal except for the fact that Amanda nearly froze her feet off on the first leg.  The air conditioning apparently had a vent right under her seat that was conveniently blowing at top speed for the entire flight.  I was sitting across the aisle from “woman who falls asleep before we pull back from the gate”.  Not only was she sleeping the entire flight but she also decided to wear a top that was two sizes too small.  Let me tell you… sleeping with a top on that’s too small leaves little to the imagination.  Thank god she was only about 250 lbs or things could have really gotten ugly.  Directly behind us was “I snore so loud you can hear me over your noise canceling headphones” guy.  Awesome.

So we get to our destination in Charleston, head out on the town, do some shopping, etc.  Anyone that knows me knows that I absolutely detest shopping.  I don’t “browse”.  When I’ve got something to buy, I walk into the store, buy it and leave.  A on the other hand loves to window shop.  She moseys from store to store just looking for stuff in the off chance that she might find something to purchase.  Kill me.  Amanda has but one weakness – options.  It is her Kryptonite.  So you can imagine the predicament I found myself in when we entered a store with a zillion pieces of jewelry.  Let me just say it was quite some time before we were out of there.

After an amazing dinner where we didn’t have to spend time feeding a 1 year old or chasing a 3 year old we met up with the guys for a night on the town which was a great way to kick off the wedding festivities.  We then returned back to the room to settle in for the evening.  I was dozing while the wife was getting ready for bed until she let out a blood curling scream (she’s got a career in horror movies if she ever chooses).  Cockroach.  Hell yeah.  Let me tell you – nothing like moving rooms at 1:00 AM after having a few drinks.  To their credit, the Hampton took care of us and even comped the room.

The wedding took place on Saturday evening (special thanks again to Chris & Katie for including us – it was awesome) which meant that we had all day Saturday to fill.  We took the opportunity to head to the beach for a nice relaxing day.  It was overcast so I figured I’d be OK for an hour or so without any sunblock – boy was I wrong.  Being as I was in the ocean for that entire time I’ve got a nice line of white/red running right across my back where the water level was.  I (of course) was told on multiple occasions by my loving wife just how stupid I was not to have worn sunscreen from the get go.  She was right (of course) but I’ll never tell her that.  At this point two days later my back feels kind of like my skin is 4 sizes too small.  The shower felt like hot magma cascading down on me.  Good times.

The flight back was full of interesting tales as well.  We got to Charlotte and were met with rain.  The airport was closed down for about an hour for this.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve been to a lot of airports where it was raining and I’ve never seen the airport be shut down.  Thank God it didn’t hail or even * gasp * snow.  Apparently we’re not the only ones traveling from Charleston to Cleveland that ran into issues.  Bryjack was booked on another flight into another Cleveland airport (scheduled 2 hours before ours) and got home 2 hours AFTER us.

And finally… from the “we have too much time on our hands” department, check out what my friendly co-workers greeted me with this morning when I got back to my desk.  I took two days off and they of course took the opportunity to bust my balls about “how often I’m off”.  Thanks guys.

I can only imagine what will happen if I ever take a full week out of the office.  I’m guessing my desk will be nothing more than a pile of smoldering ashes when I return.

And after all of this our summer of weddings is now officially over.  That said, we’re certainly not done with our travels.  Our fall is shaping up quite nicely: family clam bake, a trip to State College to hang out with the KillTheCan.org crew and a trip in October to get crazy with Pip.  Stay tuned!

Twitter/Facebook Update
And so it begins…
9:04 AM Jun 14th from TweetDeck

And we’re off. Errands… Dad’s best friend. #fb
10:34 AM Jun 14th from TwitterBerry

I’d purposefully put off this trip till Sunday morning cause I wanted to have a little more time available to us.  We had to make a return out a Aurora Farms and they’ve got a great playground for the boys, a duck pond and a ton of “rides” that G loves.  (As I’m writing that last sentence I realize it sounds eerily similar to “Frank The Tank” in Old School).

As I said, we had a return to make and then my plan was to stick around, play on the playground and let G “drive” some of the cars, planes and trucks.  We made the return with relative ease and it was off to the playground.  The G-man is to a point in his life where he’s fearless.  He’ll climb on anything and always like to take the path of most resistance.  He’s the kid going UP the slide.  Once G’s got something in his mind it’s pretty tough to deter him.  That’s why I was treated to these views pretty much all weekend:

As you can see, G's off to the races.

I swear I was TRYING to keep up.

Our errands were done and the playground was behind us.  It was time for G to “drive” and we’d be good to go with a successful trip behind us.  NOT SO FAST Super Dad — boom.  Accident.  As I did last night at the mall, I scooped him up and we were off to the bathroom.  Luckily I’d replenished our backup underwear and shorts in the truck so we didn’t have to take a ride home with wet clothes.  For those keeping score:

Super Dad 2 – Kids 5.

Twitter/Facebook Update
Oh the stories I could tell. #fb
11:33 AM Jun 14th from TwitterBerry

It might sound like I’m doing a lot of bitching and I definitely don’t want it to come across that way.  I had an absolute blast this weekend.  Sure I had to change a ton of diapers and had to deal with quite a few potty accidents but with kids this cute who can complain?

Twitter/Facebook Update
Fries, rings and shakes. Oh my. #fb
11:48 AM Jun 14th from TwitterBerry

That’s right, I decided on the way home to really up the “dad is cool” quotient and spring for Burger King.  Definitely not something we do on a regular basis but all in all my boys were awesome for me all weekend and I wanted to treat them (not to mention that I’m a sucker for fast food).  Needless to say, they really enjoyed their burger, fries and especially their milkshake!

Super Dad 3 – Kids 5.

After all that I’d been through this weekend I decided to cut my losses and stay at home after nap time.  We had an absolute blast playing with the bubble grill (which G decided he’d use as a blower to go along with his power tool obsession).  C was content to sit with me for a while and try to chew on my sandal.  When he figured out that I wasn’t going to allow that he was off to the races as well and I spent the better part of the afternoon/evening chasing them around the yard.  After the weekend we had it was a great way to end.

After I’d put them to bed I did something that I’ve not done in a long time… I sat in a quiet house and read a book.  I was taping the Indians game so I could zip through it later, the NBA Finals sucked and I was exhausted.  I’ll reiterate again – not sure how Amanda does this on a regular basis.  She’s truly amazing.

Even though I lost the final tally 3-5 I felt like the King of the World.  I’d managed to get through a weekend with no broken bones, didn’t watch too much TV with the boys, managed to win a couple of bucks playing online poker and had a great time doing it all.  The only thing that would have made it better would have been if Amanda was here with us… come home soon babe.

PS – Don’t tell Amanda about these posts… if she thinks I can handle it on my own she’ll get some crazy ideas and be jetting off all the time * gulp *

Amanda was in Denver for a wedding and was away from me and the boys for the first time since they’ve been born (for those of you keeping track that’s over 3 years!)  When I left work on Friday afternoon I really didn’t know what I had in store for me.  Being Super Dad (in my own head) I KNEW that everything was going to be just fine.

Friday Night
Actually this went pretty well.  My folks spent the day with the boys and there were PERFECT for them.  Actually… they were too perfect.   By the time I got home it was just a matter of finishing up dinner and doing bedtime.  Piece of cake.  Actually it was a beautiful evening so we took the dog for a long walk around the golf course. 

After they were in bed I jumped on Full Tilt Poker for some online action – but that’s another story for another blog.  I also got to watch a GREAT hockey game where my Pittsburgh Penguins took down Lord Stanley’s cup… amazing.  I doubt very seriously that the Pirates are going to keep the trend going but right now Pittsburgh is looking like title town!

Super Dad 1 – Kids 0.

Saturday Morning
No grand parent help… Super Dad is on his own.  Had a kick ass breakfast (eggs, bacon, fruit, oatmeal) and we were off and running.  I recently got a crack in my windshield so we had to be home between 8:00 AM and 12:00 PM for that dude to show up.  They called to confirm at around 10:30 and of course I missed it due to a diaper change.  When I called back 3 minutes later he informed me that the technician had been sent to another job and he would be at my house after noon.  Awesome.  So, I packed up the boys and off we went to the bank, UPS, etc.  Drive through… a dad’s best friend.

Twitter/Facebook Update
Day #2 of the “dad and boys alone” experience off to a good start. #fb
8:49 AM Jun 13th from TwitterBerry

After our errands we came home and played for a while before it was time for lunch.  My boys can both eat… BIG TIME.  So meal time can be a pretty drawn out process.  Before I knew it nap time was upon us.

Super Dad 2 – Kids 0.

Saturday Afternoon / Evening
At this point I was cruising right along not really understanding why mom ever had a problem with these guys… they were AWESOME.  We’d been playing, laughing, eating and generally having a great time.  The other shoe just had to drop soon right?  Hell yeah it dropped… big time.  Here are my next four updates (note the times):

Twitter/Facebook Update
On the way to get fitted for tuxedos with the boys. #fb
4:56 PM Jun 13th from TwitterBerry

Well that didn’t work out. #fb
6:54 PM Jun 13th from TwitterBerry

On the way home. Almost bedtime for the boys. Then its time for dad to relax. Not sure how mom does this. #fb
8:51 PM Jun 13th from TwitterBerry

Boys in bed… 2 days down, 2 to go. It’s Miller time!
9:43 PM Jun 13th from TweetDeck

What happened you ask? Well… let me tell you.  As I stated before my brother is getting married in July and G and I are in the wedding.  So, we needed to get measured for our tuxedos.  I’d told him on Friday night that we were going to get measured so he’d know what to expect.  He seemed generally excited to “stand like a statue” and get measured.  So we rolled up to Beachwood Place and tried to find the Men’s Warehouse (which if you’ve never been there is pretty fucking difficult to find – I spent 20 minutes walking around the mall and that was AFTER I looked at the map).  Anyhow, we get in there and are helped by a 18-20 year old dude that has no idea what he’s about to get himself into.  G does pretty well getting measured (while C watched on from his stroller) but then proceeded to unroll about half the ties in the joint.  So, now I’m not only trying to make sure that G is measured properly, but I’m making sure that C isn’t tearing shit apart and I’m trailing behind G re-rolling the ties on the table.  Houston – we may have a problem.

Once the dude got all of G’s measurements it was off to the dressing room.  He proceeded to give us a jacket that I could have fit into.  I looked at him and told him he’d have to go a LOT smaller if we were going to fit the G-man at all.  I told him to give the smallest shirt, jacket, pants and shoes they had.  At this point G was starting to get a bit testy with me.  A couple of jackets and shirts later he was really starting to get pissed and on the third pair of pants he went completely ballistic. (Not sure what part of “give me the smallest” the clerk didn’t understand).  Tears, screaming, and a general 3 year old meltdown.  (For those of you that have never been fitted for a tux, the stores are generally pretty small.  If you think a screaming 3 year old is loud outside, try listening to them in a changing room).

Super Dad 2 – Kids 1.

So we make our way out of the dressing room and it’s time for dad to get measured.  G continues to run around the store so I decided to take action.  I put him on a chair and offer him a bribe if he sits still.  It appears to be working until as I’m getting measured he says, “Daddy I need to go peeps”.  Fuck.  I stop what I’m doing and walk over to him and then I see it… he’s wet.  Dammit.  I can’t really blame him cause he’s 3 and hasn’t had an accident all weekend so Super Dad springs into action.  I swoop him up and tell the clerk that I need to leave ASAP and I’ll be back to take care of my fitting.  I’m obviously trying to get out of the store as quickly as possible but this guys takes THIS time to sell me on the Men’s Warehouse Perfect Fit Rewards program – really?  Do I have “jackass” stamped across my forehead?  Needless to say I declined his sales offer and managed to get out the door without them knowing that my son had just pissed all over their carpet.

Super Dad 2 – Kids 2.

I’m making my way back to the car (which of course has all the way across the mall cause I couldn’t find Men’s Warehouse) carrying G, pushing C and it’s looking like it’s going to rain.  I was carrying G cause I didn’t want him to have to walk around the mall with wet sweat pants but this unfortunately meant that my t-shirt was now soaked as well.  We make our way to the car and it’s just starting to drizzle.

• Right front pocket – no keys.  Hmm… that’s strange, I ALWAYS keep my keys here...
• Left front pocket – no keys.  Maybe I put them here…
• Right rear pocket – no keys.  This isn’t looking good.
• Left rear pocket – no keys.  Oh boy… here come the rain.
• Right cargo pocket – no keys.  Panic setting in, maybe I put them here…
• You get the idea.

I forgot to mention that during the screaming and pissing I’d handed my keys to C to keep him quiet.  He neglected to tell me that he’d placed them on the floor on the way out of the store.

Super Dad 2 – Kids 3.

Once we finally got back to the car I changed G into his spare shorts and underwear and it was off to the grandparents for dinner.  We were there about 20 minutes before I noticed the G-man just kind of “hanging out” on the patio with a weird look on his face.  Yep… accident #2.  At this point I think he’s doing it just to piss me off.  Well, I’d already burned through my backup pants/underwear combo so he was relegated to a diaper for the remainder of the evening.

Super Dad 2 – Kids 4.

Dad asked me what we wanted to drink for dinner.  I informed him that G would have milk, C would have water and I would have bourbon on the rocks.  The rest of the evening was relatively uneventful as we made it home with no more accidents.

As I sat in my chair after the boys were in bed, I watched Kill Bill Volume 2, played some poker, had a beer and reflected on my day.  They had me on the ropes but I was bound and determined to get through it without having them kill one another or me.

To be continued…