The Winking Lizard (Bedford Heights, Ohio)

If you’ve never been to the Winking Lizard (@winkinglizard on Twitter) you’re missing out.  They’ve got some of the best wings in Cleveland, have several locations to choose from and have a TON of beers for your tasting pleasure.  This year, I’m participating in the 2012 World Tour of Beers.  This Petrus was #32 on the year.

“Liking” Your Own Posts

STOP THAT.  It makes you look like a complete douche bag.  If you made a status update to your own wall, it’s safe to say that you like whatever it is you wrote.  Otherwise, why in hell would you write it in the first place?!?!?  Commenting on your own stuff is fine.  Sometimes you don’t want to go on a big long diatribe in your status update (After all… that’s what a blog is for ).  Sometimes you want to add a little bit more information about the status, photos or link you posted.  No big deal.  But good lord… don’t “like” it.

I took a bit of an informal poll on Twitter.  It appears that I’m not the only one who dislikes the practice of self-liking.  I was told by a few people that they use the “ironic like” in seldom situations, but certainly not for every post.  I suppose I can get behind this but that’s an iffy use at best in my book.

One more thing about self-liking.  This also extends to your company if you’re a business owner.  STOP THAT.  Not only does it make you look like a douche bag, but it makes you AND your company look like losers.  Is there anything more pathetic than a company that posts a story, link or picture and the only one that likes or comments on it is the owner?  I think not.  Post your stuff, let others comment and like it.  If they don’t, it’s not the end of the world.  Come up with something better to post next time.

Clever / Fake Facebook Names

OK… this one is just ridiculous.  Folks, the whole idea of Facebook is that you have the ability to accept or decline invitations.  As such, it’s pretty silly to NOT use your real name with your Facebook profile.  Sure, many people have 2 accounts:  one personal (real) account and maybe one to play mind-numbing games with.  But you know WHY you have that other account?  It’s so your real friends don’t get bothered by all of your requests for cows, mafia members, virtual candy canes and whatever other crap you’re trying to find in your game.  I’m down with that.  That said, if you’re using that second account, please don’t pretend that you’re really that “persona”… it makes you look like a douche bag.

Not really sure what I’m talking about?  Here’s some examples:

Chill Mascaras – Am I honestly supposed to believe that this guy’s name is “Chill”?  With that picture?  Come on now.  I’m about the biggest wrestling fan you’ll ever meet, but you don’t see me wearing a luchador mask in my Facebook profile picture.  In fact, you don’t even see me write this blog under my real name (you didn’t really think my God-given name is Chewie did you?).  No… I post stuff that I write on the 406 Facebook page, and often times share it to my personal profile.  But I never “like” it… see above.

Harry James Potter - Those are great movies and better books.  Harry Potter is quite honestly one of the most well developed characters in modern literature.  He’s been read by millions and has made the author billions.  But he’s not on Facebook.  Here’s a little insight… Harry Potter is a FUCKING FICTITIOUS CHARACTER.  He doesn’t exist and he’s not real.  Now, if by chance your names happens to be “Harry James Potter” which, let’s face it is a relatively common name… feel free to use your own picture.  This is a picture of Daniel Radcliffe.

Ahsoka Tano – Sigh… I think I covered fictitious characters above but this one is a special level of asshole.  Look, if you want to be clever and create a Harry Potter page good on you… at least you were the first one to think about doing it.  However, if you’re going to create an Ahsoka Tano page you’re a loser.  She’s a crappy character from a crappy non-Star Wars version of Star Wars.  She’s one step above Jar Jar Binks and if he had a shred of dignity left in his body, George Lucas would admit she’s complete crap.

George Lucas - Speaking of plaid clad, bearded asshole named George Lucas.  THIS is George Lucas.  It’s not his fault that he happens to be named after a the director that gave us such classic garbage as Howard The Duck and The Phantom Menace.  And you know what?  This guy’s REAL.  He’s got a real profile picture of him and his girl and he’s PIMP.  Look at that look.  You know he absolutely hates his name.  He’s heard every joke about midichlorians, terrible dialog and worse directing.  But he’s pimp.  This is George Lucas.

The Top 10 Posts Of 2011
(Based On Number Of Views)

#10 – Thoughts At 35
No matter how hard I try, I continue to get older.  On this “milestone” birthday I decided to jot down a few musings.

#9 – 100 Facts About Me – Or At Least 50
I really dove into Twitter in the past year.  There was a game/activity going around where you had to tweet out 100 facts about yourself.  I got halfway home before I decided to call it a day.

#8 – WrestleMania VI – The Ultimate Challenge
This was #10 on last year’s list.  It’s part of my WrestleMania Project where I’m reviewing every show since the beginning.  This particular show was outstanding, as the main event pitted Intercontinental Champion the Ultimate Warrior against WWF World Champion Hulk Hogan.  Tremendous.

#7 – Top 10 Guilty Pleasure Movies
Another list that I put together way back in the day.  These are flicks that no matter how bad they are, I’ll watch every time they’re on TV.

#6 – Harry Hamlin Made Me Smile (in 2010)
Another repeat from last year’s list.  This is a report of a video game that Pip played with an interesting cameo in it.

#5 – The Overuse Of LOL
There aren’t a lot of things in pop culture that piss me off, but this is of them.  My take (OK… more of a rant) on the use of the term “LOL” in today’s culture.

#4 – Empire Snow Removal – Solon, Ohio & Twinsburg, Ohio
Way back in 2008, I got screwed over by a scam called The Snowplow Guys.  This year, I got a flyer in my mailbox for the same service.  I wasn’t happy, and wrote this post.

#3 – The Best Animated GIF Ever
The title of the post pretty much says it all.  It’s epic.

#2 – The WrestleMania 27 Drinking Game
If you’re a regular reader, you know that a couple of times a year, Pip and I get together and pretend we’re a lot younger than we are.  One of these times is during WrestleMania weekend.  Each year, we build The Beeramid with the help of a drinking game that we develop through the year.

#1 – Top 80?s Action Movies
For the second year in a row, the top spot goes to this post that I made about my favorite 80?s action flicks.  Love it!

Since WWE announced it’s Mania main event the day after last year’s show (Rock vs. John Cena for those not paying attention), I figured we’d better get going and put together rules of engagement for the evening’s festivities.

This year, we’re starting something a bit different.  Moving forward, we’ll have 20 rules for each event.  This first batch of 10 will carry over from year to year and the second batch will be Mania-specific rules.

Year Over Year Rules

1. 1 drink for a missed match outcome / 3 drinks if title match / 5 drinks if main event
2. 1 drink for foreign object
3. 3 drinks for a bloody wrestler / 5 if an announcer references a “crimson mask”
4. 3 drinks for (unannounced) legend appearance or a surprise return
5. 1 drink for a small package attempt / finish beer if it wins the match
6. 1 drink for each reference to the sponsored song
7. 2 drinks for a submission victory
8. 5 drinks for a double count out or double DQ
9. 1 drink for a finisher / 2 if opponent kicks out / 4 if it’s reversed / Finish beer if the reversal directly leads to pin fall or submission
10. 1 drink every time they show footage of a previous WrestleMania

1. I’m part of the @clevelanddotcom Twitter Twenty! #CLE20
2. I live in Cleveland but I’m a Steeler fan. In my defense, I grew up in Pittsburgh.
3. I chewed tobacco for 17+ years. When I quit I started http://www.killthecan.org/ to help others quit.
4. I’m adopted. So is my brother but we’re not biological brothers. Still love him to death.
5. I once left a brand new grill in its box in my garage for over a month. @MikeHumphries was not happy about it.
6. I’m starting to think that doing this 100 facts list was a bad idea.  (Please note that I was only up to #6 before I started having second thoughts…)
7. Even though this list was a bad idea once I start something I’m uber stubborn. I will complete it.
8. Prime example of #7? The WrestleMania Project – http://wp.me/pj6R5-j7 First post in Sept 09 and still going.
9. I’m married to my high school sweetheart.
10. I’ve got two kids. I enjoy playing with their toys probably more than they do.
11. I have a blog at http://406northlane.com/ where I tend to act much younger than my age.
12. I have what some would consider “a potty mouth”. I freely admit it and don’t think it takes away from my character.
13. I blame @Ken_Diesel for giving me the crazy idea to do this list.
14. For some strange reason, I wasn’t even following @Ken_Diesel from this account. It’s been remedied.
15. All of these tweets will be compiled into a blog post. (You’re reading it now)
16. Sometimes I’m scared that I put too much of myself “out there”. Then I realize no one cares anyways.
17. I’m trying to be considerate and not flood people’s Twitter feeds. But its noon and I’m only 17/100. #GoTime
18. Robert B. Parker is my all time favorite author. I read his works over and over again. He passed away last year RIP
19. I wonder… does Twitter keep ALL of my tweets? Can I see every single one I’ve ever made?
20. I should pass 2,500 tweets during this exercise.
21. Megatron was my first Transformer. But I have to say Soundwave was probably my favorite.
22. I live in Ohio and I’m not a Buckeye fan. Sue me – I went to another Big Ten school. Don’t worry not Michigan.
23. I’m Polish. I enjoy Polish jokes. Anyone who gets bent out of shape over stuff like that is wound too tightly.
24. There are 2 topics I rarely talk about: religion and politics. It’s pointless. People have their minds made up.
25. I can no longer drink “regular” – diet all the way regardless of brand.
26. My family is the most important thing in the world to me. This should have been fact #1
27. I will be watching #WrestleMania 27 next Sunday evening. It will be awesome.
28. #WrestleMania 28 has already been announced to be in Miami, FL next year. I was hoping for #Cleveland
29. My all time favorite baseball player is Jim Thome. Got to meet him a couple weeks ago. Turned into a little girl.
30. I am fascinated by #tattoos but don’t have any… yet. I’ve got 3-4 designed in my head.
31. I just destroyed Taco Bell for lunch.
32. I will not tweet something that I won’t say to your face.
33. I’m convinced that there is a movie quote perfect for every situation.
34. Just bought this tremendous Voltron t-shirt: http://twitpic.com/4cu0ww
35. I’m pretty sure that this “Internet thing” is here to stay.
36. I truly do hope that I’m doing this slow enough to not spam up people’s feeds. I’d hate to piss people off.
37. Growing up I was a Leo. Not sure if that’s still the case or not.
38. I prefer Target to Walmart. It’s more “upscale” (though that’s not saying much).
39. I prefer Burger King to McDonalds. Their fries are FAR superior.
40. I was a competitive swimmer for 17 years. Amazing the difference between 8 miles/day and 8 beers/day #college
41. I’m pretty sure I’m addicted to fast food. Seriously.
42. IMHO there is only one “Trilogy”
43. I have some incredibly “pretty” Twitter followers.
44. Cleveland gets a bad wrap nationwide, but I will defend her to the death. It’s a GREAT place to live.
45. I love being a dad. Even though the kids are a pain sometimes, it’s totally worth it when they greet me at the door.
46. Though I’m being optimistic, I do not have high hopes for my beloved Cleveland Indians this year.
47. I stayed away from Twitter for a long time cause I thought it was silly. I still think it’s silly. #HereToStay
48. I’m starting to get worried that I’m going to get to #100 before the end of the day.
49. I promise to tweet less tomorrow. I recognize that this is ridiculous.
50. I am half way there. I am in fact, living on a prayer. #BonJovi

At that point, I made the following tweet:

I’m making the executive decision that 50 #100factsaboutme is more than enough…

And just like that… I was done.

I apologize in advance to those that this will offend.  The language contained within will not be nice nor will it be “suitable for work” or for a child’s ears (not that you’re reading this blog to your child – boy would that be cool).  With that being said… STFU.

We live in world today where the vast majority of our interaction is digital.  140 character tweets, text message, status updates, etc.  It only stands to reason that some of that digital communication will be done in short hand so that we don’t have to go through the laborious task of actually TYPING what we think (perish the thought).  With the digital world that I’ve molded for myself (between Twitter, Facebook, online communities that I belong to, etc.) I’ve come to accept and downright rely on many of these.  A few of my “favorites” are below:

• AFAIC – as far as I’m concerned
• AFK – away from keyboard
• ASAP – as soon as possible (this one really isn’t specific to the online world, but I thought I’d include it)
• ASL? – age, sex, location (typically found in an online chat forum)
• AYBABTU – all your base are belong to us (don’t ask)
• FAQ – frequently asked questions
• IIRC – if I recall correctly
• IMHO – in my humble opinion
• LMAO – laughing my ass off

Those are pretty straight forward… and then we get to these (NSFW – not suitable for work for the non-initiated) gems:

• FFS – for fuck sake
• FOAD – fuck off and die (a personal favorite of mine, though I can honestly say I’ve never used it)
• FML – fuck my life
• LMFAO – laughing my fucking ass off
• PITA – pain in the ass

And the one that is the crux of this post: LOL – laughing out loud.

Folks… it’s one thing to use this on occasion.  You know… when you’re actually laughing out loud.  But when you put it in your Facebook status update more than once in the same update you’ve gone too far.  Stuff like this (see below) REALLY pisses me off:

“Just got home from the store and the dog ate through the couch cushion LOL.  Guess no dinner for him and I’m going to have to find a new couch LOL!“

First off… your dog eating through your couch cushion is not:

1. something I care to hear about
2. something that is funny
3. something that you should be laughing out loud about

Furthermore, if you ARE in fact “laughing out loud” at your dog eating your couch, you’ve already told me once.  There is absolutely NO reason to tell me about it again at the end of the message.  Are you honestly telling me that you started laughing out loud at the beginning of the message, stopped laughing out loud and then started laughing out loud again after you determined that you needed a new couch???

Don’t get me wrong… I’m not suggesting that the use of LOL be banned or even that you NEED to be physically laughing out loud every single time you use it.  I’m just as guilty of this as the next guy.  These days LOL has really come to be a way of saying, “Hey, that’s funny/clever” to one of your online buddies.  My issue is when it’s used alot… like a TON.  Like, a REALLY REALLY REALLY lot.  LOL.

OIC, u r just being a POS PITA right? LOL.  I’m ROFLMAO at you.  TTYL cuz this is the SSDD that I always hear from U. FML.  L8R.  LOL. FOAD (there… now I’ve used it )

As I kept making my way toward the field, and as I said I just couldn’t believe just how foggy it was so I took a couple more shots as I went.  This one was particularly crazy.  For non-Clevelanders who may be reading, this is the famous wall in downtown where a former Cleveland icon was outstretched in his “Witness” pose.  *cough* Dick *cough*  (Not that I’m bitter).   In all seriousness, if you’re interested my take on the whole LeBron situation from a while back check these out:

• Seriously? A Prime Time Press Conference?!?!
• A Non-Sports Look At The LeBron Situation
• And Just Like That, King James Is No More
• My Final Sign Off On LeBron

When I finally made it to the Indians Team Shop I couldn’t help but stop and snap one more picture.  I sure hope we’ve got better weather (and more visibility) on Opening Day!

I had a bittersweet experience with actually buying my tickets.  It was completely awesome because I did in fact get tickets to Opening Day which regardless of the weather is going to rock.  I was a little bit surprised (and actually kind of proud) that Progressive Field was nearly sold out!  There will be three of us going and my only options for a block of 3 seats were in the $70 club level or section 509 – the nosebleeds.  Note that I chose the nosebleeds. I found out a couple of days later that I’m about the world’s worst big brother as I was supposed to get a 4th ticket for my brother and failed miserably.  FML.  Marko, I promise to make it up to you.  After all, WrestleMania 27 IS that Sunday!

And finally… the whole point of this post.  Opening Day baby!  Go Tribe!!!

There are currently 3 versions of these stand ups, where Kevin takes questions from the audience and extrapolates his show from there.  The first installment (An Evening With Kevin Smith) came out in 2002, followed by An Evening With Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder in 2006 and Sold Out: A Threevening With Kevin Smith in 2008.  All three installments are absolutely hilarious and cover a wide range of topics from comic books, sex, drugs, movie making and child rearing.  As with Carlin, Smith’s language is definitely not for all audiences.  If profanity offends you, stay the fuck away from this one (sorry… couldn’t resist).

All three of these are absolutely hysterical if you’re a fan of Smith’s body of work.  The first was taken from a series of Q & A sessions done at college campuses in 2002 (Clark University, Cornell University, Indiana University, Kent State University and University of Wyoming if you’re interested).  The second was filmed on location partially at Roy Thomson Hall in Toronto and partially at the Criterion Theatre in London.  Finally, the third installment was filmed in Smith’s hometown in Red Bank, New Jersey on his 37th birthday.  It’s also important to know that that these are LONG shows.  All three are on multiple DVDs if you get them from Netflix… just wanted to make you aware in case you were looking for a short show.  That being said, they’re segmented in such a way that if you need to pause and come back you certainly can.

Granted I’m a huge Smith fan, but I simply cannot recommend these highly enough.  There is a supposed 4th installment in the works which I can’t wait for.  Snoogins.

Friday:
After work and dinner on Friday night, we needed to take Mom’s truck to the Nissan dealership so they could work on it Saturday morning.  After that, we decided to do some shopping so Dad could have some supplies for the weekend’s activities.  We hit up Lowe’s and the  boys got to drive on quite a few lawnmowers, check out the blowers and edgers and generally have a great time.  Before we knew it it was WELL past the boys’ bedtime but we said, “Screw it, it’s summer” and opted for late night Dairy Queen before going to bed.  I think my tweet (at 10:33 PM) sums it up perfectly:

Terrible parenting on display. (@ Dairy Queen) http://4sq.com/c3PuHg

However, I will say this. Based on the joy on the boys’ faces while they were eating their DQ, I’ll be a “bad parent” every day of the week.  Guess I’m not a bad parent after all

Saturday:
Saturday morning was reserved for working in the yard.  G and C are always up for helping dad, so out we went to trim the trees.  If you’re read this blog in the past you know they’re HUGE fans of any power tool or lawn equipment (lawnmower, blower, edger, etc.) so they were a tad bit disappointed that I was trimming the trees with a hand tool, but they quickly got over it.  Mom was out there helping us as well and though the job took about 4 times as long as it should have (thanks to some “help” from the boys) we had a great time.  The trees got a long overdue “haircut” and I was happy to knock something off my “honey do” list (which continues to grow by the way).  After lunch and nap we decided to take a trip to the zoo and we discovered something very important… evening is the PERFECT time to go to the zoo.  There’s almost nobody there, it’s no so damn hot and you can park nice and close.  The parking thing may not sound like a huge deal, but when you’ve got a 2 year old who weighs as much as  a small walrus and he decides, “You should carry me”, that kind of stuff comes into play big time.

After the zoo closed (yep… we were that family that closed down the zoo) we were already on that side of town, so we decided to go to one of Mom’s favorite restaurants Carrabba’s.  I’m happy to say that the boys were very good until the very end of the meal where C decided he’d rather make modern art with his spaghetti than eat it.  Note to self… stick with pizza or chicken fingers for the next couple of years.  Spaghetti is just too much of a reach. We decided to continue the weekend of kid-dom with a stop at McDonald’s on the way home to pick up a shake for the boys.  This was a little bit earlier (9:48 PM) but still WAY past bed time.  However, hearing G say, “Daddy, I sure do love milkshakes”, totally made it worth it.

Sunday:
Mom had decided (unbeknown to me) that we’d be spending the day at Wildwater Kingdom (formerly Geauga Lake’s water park).  It was like a billion degrees outside yesterday so you can imagine how few people had the same idea (please recognize the sarcasm).  As I get older, I find that I’m essentially an albino when it comes to sunburn so even though I applied some sunblock I can HEAR my skin creak this morning.  We headed over at around noon and the boys had a blast.  Not sure why, but the G-man is terrified of deep water this year (deep being defined as anything over 3 feet) but he did manage to do quite a bit of sliding and absolutely LOVES the big kid slides.  Per Mom’s plan, we headed home for lunch and nap time (which Super Dad partook in as well).  Even though the sky was looking rather ominous, we headed back to the part around 5 for another round of water park fun.  We just about made it to our chairs when the heavens opened up.  I’m not talking a little rain here… I’m talking thunder, lightening, wind and rain akin to Raiders Of The Lost Ark.  As we sat there eating our $5 slushy (which only half of us were eating cause G wouldn’t try it and Mom hates chewing ice) Mom and I just looked and one another and laughed.  Couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.  After about an hour or so, the storm passed and the park re-opened.  I’m SO happy that we stayed cause we had an absolute BLAST!!!

We had the place essentially to ourselves.  Mom and Dad got to go on a couple of the “adult slides”, we hit up the tidal wave pool (which we’d missed during our morning trip) and the boys got to slide… and slide… and slide some more.  I simply cannot tell you how awesome it was to watch C’s face as he slid down.  Eyes and mouth WIDE open each and every time.  Even the G-man with his recent predilection toward tantrums had an awesome time.  Once again, we closed the place down and as we walked toward our car (which was the only one left in the parking lot) it was clear that everyone had a good time.  We closed out the weekend with one last trip for ice cream (three days in a row) and it was home for a shower and bed time.

Final Thoughts :

1. This post is much longer that I had anticipated.
2. I’m not sure when it happened, but I can no longer be in the sun.   See The Final Wedding Weekend for additional proof.
3. The “protective webbing” in a swimsuit does nothing of the sort.  It should be renamed “the chafing webbing”.  Good lord.
4. Busy weekends like this are what memories are made of.

NOTE: THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987)
Special thanks to my buddy Shawn Prior for hooking me up with this one.  As I said on my twitter feed, “The first 4 minutes of GI Joe the animated movie are some of the best in movie history.”  I hadn’t actually planned on watching this whole flick, but when you’ve got a 2 hour flight, followed by a 2 hour layover and then a 4 hour flight, shit happens.  This flick follows our favorite characters and introduces us to quite a few new ones.  Like most cartoon franchises in the 80′s, G.I. Joe was all about moving product off the shelves and this was a great way to introduce these new characters.  I won’t go into a plot review here other than to say that Cobra finds itself a new Allie in the form of the organic Cobra La.  There are quite a few purists out there that absolutely hate this movie, but I’ve always really enjoyed it.  My one big complaint is how they killed Cobra Commander.  He’s always been one of my favorite characters and for him to go out like that kind of pissed me off.  But then again look what happened to Fett.  If you’re a fan of the franchise I’m sure you’ve already seen this one, but if not you definitely need to.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
I’ve already reviewed this movie previously so I won’t go into a whole lot of detail here.  After watching the 87/animated version I figured I’d stay in the Joe frame of mind and watch the updated version.  I can say that I agree with my thoughts from my original review.  This is a very entertaining action movie that’s not NEARLY as bad as some of the haters out there would lead you to believe.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Being such a bit Potter fan I’m shocked that it’s taken me this long to get to this one (especially since it’s one of my favorite books in the series).  That said, this one is decidedly “so so”.  My fears that there were too much going on in the book to translate onto screen were realized as I found myself time and time again going “huh?”  As with any novel turned flick, it’s difficult sometimes to give the movie audience enough background so they can follow the action.  There were quite a few times here where if I hadn’t read the book I’d have NO IDEA what was going on.  And while the movie house probably assumes that viewers have read the books there are at least a few out there that haven’t… and they’d be lost.  I was very happy with the treatment of Dumbledore’s death but would have liked to have seen his funeral and the battle that ensued as shown in the book.  I can only assume those events will be shown in the forthcoming movies.  As with the books, the story is getting better and better as the movies go on and the movies are LOOKING better and better as we move forward.  I can certainly see why this one made nearly a billion dollars and simply cannot wait for the next Potter flick.

Fanboys (2009)
Seeing as I’m a bit of a fanboy myself this one has been on my radar for quite a while.  This is essentially a road trip movie set to Star Wars.  5 friends decide to trek cross country to break into Skywalker Ranch to get a sneak peak at Episode I: The Phantom Menace.  The movie that ensues is full of Star Wars references, dialog and cameos (Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Ray Park, Kevin Smith, etc.)  Even though this was a colossal flop in the theaters (it cost 8 million to make and grossed less than 1) I can tell you that I completely enjoyed it.  If you’re not a Star Wars fan I’d urge you to stay away because A: you’re not going to get 3/4 of the movie and B: you’re not going to get the other 1/4 of the movie.  The non-Star Wars portion of the plot (one of the characters has cancer which is why they’re on this journey before he dies) simply isn’t strong enough to carry you if you’re not down with the Star Wars stuff.  However… if you’re a Star Wars fan and have been staying away based on the negative reviews and poor box office performance I’d say give it a shot.  May the Force be with you.