As I mentioned, we took our yearly trip to Florida recently (HUGE thanks to Grandma & Pop for making this a possibility) and had an absolutely wonderful time.  As you can imagine between the pool and swimming in the ocean (well, the gulf, but to a little guy it’s the same thing) these guys get tired out!!!

C After A Long Day At The Beach

As I said in the title of this post, this guy is COOL.  He absolutely LOVES his trains, and like any kid he’s always up for a trip through the toy aisle (which Super Dad naturally encourages )

C With Dad's Shades

Robert Downey Jr. Has Nothing On The C-Man

Easter is one of the boys’ favorite holidays.  Not only does the Easter Bunny show up, but he brings CANDY!

Cadbury Cream Egg = Winning

Look What I Found!

Yes… I take a lot of pictures.  But with kids this cute who wouldn’t?

Thumbs Up From The C-Man

Best Buds At Target

I can’t have a “family” post without including Momma… she keeps us all in line and (relatively) out of trouble  Sure, we’ve got quite a few stitches recently but this post is about C… Full stitches report when I talk about G-Man!

C-Man & Momma

Thank goodness for the iPhone… If not for this piece of technology it’d be difficult to get stuff like this!

Dad & C - Love You Buddy!

So I’m at the gym this morning running the elliptical like the hamster that I am, and one of the TV screens was showing videos.  I’m sure it wasn’t MTV cause you know… they don’t play videos, but I started watching.  I’ve long been one of those people that bitches about how MTV no longer plays videos and that they should get back to it.  Yeah… I’m gonna change my tune there.  No one should be showing videos anymore.  They’re crap.

I’ll preface this by saying that I wasn’t actually LISTENING to these videos.  I was just watching them on the screen while listening to my iPod.  Now that I’ve actually listened to them they’re a LITTLE better… but not much.  I’ll also say that I’m super out of touch with what’s popular music these days that I may be way off base here.  Essentially the only time I hear “new” music is when the wife makes me watch the Grammy’s.  So yeah… I know who Adele is and I know that Nicki Minaj is a train wreck.

The All American Rejects – Beekeeper’s Daughter – So I’m watching this and I literally can’t tell if it’s a high school musical ripoff or some sort of acid trip gone wrong.  We’ve got Sharks vs. Jets, we’ve got Glee inspired dance routines and the dude wearing pants (pink pants by the way… what the hell?) so tight that I can see his pulse.  Speaking of that dude.  Is it me or is he wearing a watch around his bicep?  And just when I thought this couldn’t get any weirder… boom.  Wayne Newton.  What?  Wayne FUCKING  Newton???  He was awesome in Vegas Vacation and that James Bond flick License To Kill but honestly, I thought he was dead.

Toby Keith – Red Solo Cup - Next up was this gem.  Holy shit.  There’s a dude signing about the greatest drinking cup alive?  This I can get behind.  Granted, I don’t need to see a video about it but it was kind of cool to see a video that was essentially a 406 Northlane party.  And if the All American Rejects called in a few favors to get a “celebrity” in their video, then Toby Keith absolutely kicked their ass.  Larry Legend, Roger Clemens (really?), Ted Nugent & The Red Rocker himself Sammy Hagar (just to name a few).  Well done Toby Keith… you’re the man!!!  And then I listened to it.  Shit.  It’s a mix between Charlie Daniels and a retarded guy playing a banjo.  Really?  A banjo?  Pretty sure I’m 5 IQ points dumber just for listening to this song.

Jessie J – Domino – I’m not really sure what to think about this one.  I’ve never done acid but I’m guessing this is what life is like when tripping.  She’s wearing a unitard that blends into the background which happens to be constantly morphing.  Then she’s wearing striped (yeah… striped) lipstick and looks like she’s right out of a Debbie Gibson video.  Incidentally… have you seen Debbie  (now going by Deborah) Gibson lately?  Smoking hot.  After listening to this one I really can’t tell if it’s Jessie J or Katy Perry singing.  From a video perspective I much prefer a girl shooting fireworks out of her boobs to this.

Lady Gaga – Born This Way - Last up in my mind altering elliptical ride was this one.  I have to admit that I’m familiar with Gaga and this song.  That said, seeing this video wasn’t really all that shocking.  She’s weird and I don’t think I’m telling anyone anything that they don’t know.  However, in doing a bit of research for this post, I ran across this 7 minute version of the video complete with a “birth” scene intro straight out of the Matrix.  This was a decent song, but I have to say that I liked it more 20 years ago when Madonna sang it and called it Express Yourself.

In an unrelated note, I’m coming out with a new line of clothing where I take shit from around the house and wear it on my head and call it fashion.  My kids are gonna be pissed when they find their Legos and puzzles missing, but when they see Super Dad walking the red carpet wearing their toys I’m guessing they’ll be proud.

Naturally, that lead to the conversation of exactly WHAT pictures I was going to show Mr. Matt and the inevitable conclusion that the current pictures I had we clearly sub-standard.  We needed a photo shoot and we needed it right… now.  During dinner… before we finished.  I managed to hold them off until after dinner was cleaned up but we marched right downstairs to take some acceptable pics to share with Mr. Matt.  And here they are…

G & C Posing For Mr. Matt

And now the "silly" shot

C show that HE is the World Champion

Though G may have something to say about that

I've never been prouder as a wrestling fan or as a father...

Saturday was “get away day” as we traveled up to Put In Bay for the afternoon.  We had some travel snafus as we’re prone to do, but the boys absolutely LOVED taking Miller’s Ferry over to the island, speeding around on the golf cart, going to Perry’s Cave and having ice cream at Dairy Queen.  On the way home (after a luxurious dinner at Taco Bell), we got to see quite a few fireworks displays from the highway which was way cool.

Sunday was a crazy busy day which started at the pool.  G went off the diving board for the first time!  On the way out, we hopped a ride on the local Rocket Car which was a big hit!

After  stop at home for a nap and a shower, we were back up to the club for a cookout and fireworks with Grandma, Gagi, Uncle Mark and Aunt Meagan.  WHAT FUN!

Monday the weather was absolutely beautiful and we took full advantage.  We had a leisurely breakfast at home on the patio and the boys were in the sandbox and we set up the sprinklers to let them run through.  In the evening, we headed up to take in the Solon fireworks with Grandma, Pop & Gramps.  Other than the fact that it took forever and a day to get out of there we had a blast!  (Note to Solon’s finest… please don’t park your cruiser in the right lane when you’ve got 4,000 people trying to file out of the Community Park.  You’re causing more harm than good.)

Watching The Fireworks

And finally… here’s the finale of the fireworks from Solon – a great way to end a great weekend!

In no particular order:

1. Being a dad allows you to be a kid.   I have a tendency to do some stupid things.  The wife does not like this.  However, in the eyes of my boys these same things make me a hero.
2. Kids who have an outgoing personality can be dangerous.  Watch out ladies!
3. I have less time to keep myself in shape now that I’m a dad.  I don’t care… there always seems to be an opportunity for a workout.
4. Kids pick up on stuff.  This includes your language, your likes and dislikes.  It also includes what you watch on television and what you like to eat.
5. Sometimes being a parent isn’t what you think it will be.
6. Kids say some funny stuff.  Don’t believe me?  Here’s another example.
7. When you think your kids are safe they will find a way to get hurt.  No… seriously.
8. Potty training sucks.  Plain and simple.
9. A child doused in Miller Lite is a terrible thing… but kind of funny at the same time.
10. Weekends are for family.  And they’re awesome.

So there’s a look back at my first 5 years.  I’m a little fatter, a little wiser but simultaneously a little dumber from hanging out with these yahoos.  But I wouldn’t change a thing.  I’ve been covered in poop, barfed on, laughed at, jumped on and ridden.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… I love being a dad.

Happy birthday G.  Love you buddy.

1. I’m part of the @clevelanddotcom Twitter Twenty! #CLE20
2. I live in Cleveland but I’m a Steeler fan. In my defense, I grew up in Pittsburgh.
3. I chewed tobacco for 17+ years. When I quit I started http://www.killthecan.org/ to help others quit.
4. I’m adopted. So is my brother but we’re not biological brothers. Still love him to death.
5. I once left a brand new grill in its box in my garage for over a month. @MikeHumphries was not happy about it.
6. I’m starting to think that doing this 100 facts list was a bad idea.  (Please note that I was only up to #6 before I started having second thoughts…)
7. Even though this list was a bad idea once I start something I’m uber stubborn. I will complete it.
8. Prime example of #7? The WrestleMania Project – http://wp.me/pj6R5-j7 First post in Sept 09 and still going.
9. I’m married to my high school sweetheart.
10. I’ve got two kids. I enjoy playing with their toys probably more than they do.
11. I have a blog at http://406northlane.com/ where I tend to act much younger than my age.
12. I have what some would consider “a potty mouth”. I freely admit it and don’t think it takes away from my character.
13. I blame @Ken_Diesel for giving me the crazy idea to do this list.
14. For some strange reason, I wasn’t even following @Ken_Diesel from this account. It’s been remedied.
15. All of these tweets will be compiled into a blog post. (You’re reading it now)
16. Sometimes I’m scared that I put too much of myself “out there”. Then I realize no one cares anyways.
17. I’m trying to be considerate and not flood people’s Twitter feeds. But its noon and I’m only 17/100. #GoTime
18. Robert B. Parker is my all time favorite author. I read his works over and over again. He passed away last year RIP
19. I wonder… does Twitter keep ALL of my tweets? Can I see every single one I’ve ever made?
20. I should pass 2,500 tweets during this exercise.
21. Megatron was my first Transformer. But I have to say Soundwave was probably my favorite.
22. I live in Ohio and I’m not a Buckeye fan. Sue me – I went to another Big Ten school. Don’t worry not Michigan.
23. I’m Polish. I enjoy Polish jokes. Anyone who gets bent out of shape over stuff like that is wound too tightly.
24. There are 2 topics I rarely talk about: religion and politics. It’s pointless. People have their minds made up.
25. I can no longer drink “regular” – diet all the way regardless of brand.
26. My family is the most important thing in the world to me. This should have been fact #1
27. I will be watching #WrestleMania 27 next Sunday evening. It will be awesome.
28. #WrestleMania 28 has already been announced to be in Miami, FL next year. I was hoping for #Cleveland
29. My all time favorite baseball player is Jim Thome. Got to meet him a couple weeks ago. Turned into a little girl.
30. I am fascinated by #tattoos but don’t have any… yet. I’ve got 3-4 designed in my head.
31. I just destroyed Taco Bell for lunch.
32. I will not tweet something that I won’t say to your face.
33. I’m convinced that there is a movie quote perfect for every situation.
34. Just bought this tremendous Voltron t-shirt: http://twitpic.com/4cu0ww
35. I’m pretty sure that this “Internet thing” is here to stay.
36. I truly do hope that I’m doing this slow enough to not spam up people’s feeds. I’d hate to piss people off.
37. Growing up I was a Leo. Not sure if that’s still the case or not.
38. I prefer Target to Walmart. It’s more “upscale” (though that’s not saying much).
39. I prefer Burger King to McDonalds. Their fries are FAR superior.
40. I was a competitive swimmer for 17 years. Amazing the difference between 8 miles/day and 8 beers/day #college
41. I’m pretty sure I’m addicted to fast food. Seriously.
42. IMHO there is only one “Trilogy”
43. I have some incredibly “pretty” Twitter followers.
44. Cleveland gets a bad wrap nationwide, but I will defend her to the death. It’s a GREAT place to live.
45. I love being a dad. Even though the kids are a pain sometimes, it’s totally worth it when they greet me at the door.
46. Though I’m being optimistic, I do not have high hopes for my beloved Cleveland Indians this year.
47. I stayed away from Twitter for a long time cause I thought it was silly. I still think it’s silly. #HereToStay
48. I’m starting to get worried that I’m going to get to #100 before the end of the day.
49. I promise to tweet less tomorrow. I recognize that this is ridiculous.
50. I am half way there. I am in fact, living on a prayer. #BonJovi

At that point, I made the following tweet:

I’m making the executive decision that 50 #100factsaboutme is more than enough…

And just like that… I was done.

This is taken directly from the “couldn’t make this shit up if I tried” file…

Thursday: After a long day at work I was super excited to get down to Florida and see my wife and kids.  Naturally, my flight was delayed 2 hours on the ground in Cleveland.  Luckily I made friends with a whole slew of other folks making the same trip and we managed to get slightly hammered… er… happy in the airport bar before they closed it.  Note to the staff at Cleveland Hopkins: If you’ve got a bunch of people that are pissed off that they’re waiting on a delayed flight, DON’T close the bar.  You’re losing revenue.  I slept on the plane and my father-in-law picked me up at the airport at around 1:00 in the morning.  After a long drive from the airport we got to the condo around 2:00.  Thanks Dad.

Friday: A couple of hours after I arrived, I was woken up to about the best sight a dad can see… my kids next to my bed saying, “DADDY!”  Sure it was 6:30 in the morning, but really… how awesome is that?  Later that morning, C was standing at the toilet peeing and dropped the seat on his dick.  It turned black and blue in about 4 seconds.  Of course the wife runs in wondering what all the commotion is.  Naturally it was Super Dad’s fault cause I was “supervising” at the time.  I’d been in the state about 6 hours and already I’m in trouble.  Through his crying, C managed to get out “I need an ice block”.  Looking back now it’s very cute, but in the moment my heart was breaking for him.  I can’t imagine how bad that hurt…  As I said when I originally made that post this WASN’T the reason we went to the hospital.  Never fear folks… we’ve got 2 kids.  For that we had to look to the G-man.

A couple of days prior (thank goodness I wasn’t present for this one) G got a couple of “slivers” in his thigh.  “Slivers” in this case are defined as 2 inches long and thicker than a toothpick.  While G wailed, mom got them out but over the next couple of days his leg got infected and was very sore to the point where the little man was limping around.  I have to give HUGE props to the wife here.  She does NOT do well with blood normally, but by all accounts she stepped up big time and took control of the situation.  In any case, Friday morning (after C’s incident) we decided to take him to urgent care and get an x-ray to see if we couldn’t get some additional information.  Apparently wood is really difficult to find in an x-ray, so we had to go to the ER for an ultrasound and it turns out he still had some “foreign objects” in his thigh.  4 hours and 6 stitches later we were done.  Keep in mind that we were in FLA for a trip… you know, where you go swimming?  Oh yeah… in case you don’t know, you can’t get stitches wet.  G was a super trooper through the entire ordeal.  Love you buddy.

Saturday: Since the pool was out of the equation, we headed to the Everglades for a FAST boat ride.  The boys absolutely LOVED it (as did I).  This was my first time in the Everglades and I was really looking forward to it.  If you’ve never been, I’d highly recommend it.  It’s absolutely amazing what those boat captains can do at such high speeds!  The one downer to this trip was that my father-in-law took a header getting out of the boat and scraped the hell out of his hand.  He was headed back to the car and there was a anchor for the boat right on the dock where you stepped out.  Pretty stupid placement if you ask me.  More splinters for him and over the next couple of days his hand puffed up and got nice and red.  I’m happy to say that as of this writing I don’t believe he’s had to go to the ER or the doc.

Sunday: Sunday morning, we went to the club for an outstanding brunch including made to order omelets and all the bacon, sausage, fruit and waffles that a kid could eat.  I tell you… my kids are small, but DAMN can they put food away when they put their mind to it.  I’m actually scared to see what they’re going to eat when they get older.  You’ve heard the term “Eating you out of house and home”?  I have a pretty good feeling that’s going to be us in a couple of years (or sooner).  We’d actually planned on taking the kids to Disney World during this trip and today was the day to pack up and head across Florida to the Magic Kingdom.  Looking at a map you’d think this would be a relatively quick trip but for some reason it seemed to take FOREVER.  When we got there, we checked into the hotel which was on Disney property and DAMN was it awesome.  Could see the castle from our room and the boys got to watch the monorails all night long.  A HUGE thank you to Mom/Dad for an awesome way to experience Disney!

Monday: Our first day at Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom.  When I woke up that morning and looked outside the pavement in the parking lot looked a little wet, but I figured it was just from the humidity in “Sunshine” State.  Nah… it was absolutely POURING and continued to do so until about 2:00 in the afternoon.  We said (I’m paraphrasing…), “Fuck it, we’re here, we’re gonna get wet, let’s go.”  So we did.  We had an absolute BLAST even with conditions the way they were.  The nice thing about visiting Disney in the rain is that there’s not too many other stupid people out there doing the same thing.  That said, the lines were really short (or non-existent).  It’s been about 20 years or so since I’ve visited and I can’t even begin to tell you how much has changed!  Went back to the hotel in the afternoon to put the kids down to nap, dried our clothes and headed back that afternoon until the park closed.  The weather was MUCH better in the afternoon with no rain and even some sun!  We got to see the famed Disney fireworks display and I have to say that it was completely awesome.

Tuesday: Back to the park at around 11.  We had considered going to one of the other parks (Epcot, MGM, etc.) but decided to head back to the Magic Kingdom cause there was just SO much to see.  We stayed until the park closed at  6:00 PM and then headed back to Naples.  G’s leg is getting much better and even though he was an asshole at the park most of the day (you know… 4 year old tantrum type stuff) we had an awesome time.  I also became an uncle for the first time as well today… 2 months early.  My niece was born at 4 lbs 4 oz and is doing as well as can be expected for being that early. She’ll have to stay at the hospital for about 5 weeks, but mom & baby (and dad) are doing fine.   Congrats guys!  A’s uncle had a massive heart attack and had to be life flighted to Akron General.  Luckily he’s fine and will make a full recovery (thank goodness).

Wednesday: My father-in-law wasn’t feeling well and was sick in bed so mom-in-law took us to the airport.  It was a typical travel day with a 2 and 4 year old which is to say incredibly hectic.  If you’ve never tried to go through security with 2 kids, a wife, a stroller and 4 carry-ons you have  no idea what you’re in for… I’d strongly advise against it.  However, we had a DVD player for the plane ride and the boys even slept for a while on the plane as well.  Back home to a chilly Cleveland evening and got to see the other set of grandparents who were awesome and brought over a home cooked meal!

So that’s that… Florida 2011.  Talk about an eventful trip!  See ya next time!  Simply saying “thanks” to Mom and Dad isn’t nearly enough as its because of you that these Disney dreams were made reality.  The boys don’t understand just how much you’ve given us/them by taking us on this trip but they’ll always have those memories of their first trip to the Magic Kingdom.  Thank you!

Over the last couple of weeks, there have been a couple of examples of G showing his pimp hand but there were two in particular that stand out.  First are from band night a couple of weeks back.  One of the local PTA organizations was sponsoring a night where the kids and their parents could go and watch the high school marching band practice.  The kids got to go onto the field and actually march right along side of them.  Naturally, G took it upon himself to find some older women to hang out with.  The one pictured here had no idea what she’d gotten herself into when she began returning his attention.  Needless to say she had a bit of a 4 foot shadow for the rest of the evening.

If you’ve got children, you know that if you turn your back for a split second they’ll be gone.  I was on G patrol and mom was watching C.  I saw them out of the corner of my eye and watched as my youngest son was having a blast with the drummers (all while sucking down a bag of Chili Fritos – that’s my boy).  As I turned to find the other apple of my eye, I realized quickly what a mistake I’d made.  G had disappeared into the crowd and now SuperDad needed to spring into action before Mom figured out that I’d lost her son in the midst of a high school marching band.

When doing detective work, you need to know about your subject.  Where they hang out, what they like and who they like to associate with.  Once I put on my Sherlock Dad hat, I knew just where to look… the Starlets!  As you can see, G had set up shop in a prime location to perpetuate his pimping.  Well done kid… well done indeed.

On a personal side note… when did they start letting these young children into high schools?  I know I’m not the spring chicken I once was, but there’s no way in hell that I looked this young when I was in high school.  I’ve heard rumors that I’m getting older and for the longest time I simply wouldn’t allow myself to believe them.  I may have to rethink that stance.  Dammit.

A while back we spent the weekend on a resort celebrating my in-law’s 40th wedding anniversary.  We had an outstanding time even though we did have some bicycle issues.  They boys absolutely love going to the pool and they both made MAJOR progress with swimming this summer.  G also made major progress on his pick up lines.

Now there was some question as to how old this girl was.  Guesses at her age ranged from “pre-teen” (SuperDad’s guess) to “engaged to be married” (Great Grandpa).  Luckily we live in a digital age and we’ve got some video proof of the pimpage.  So you tell me… how old is this chick?  And how much of a mack daddy is G?  I can only say that I’m super scared of this kid growing up.  Not sure we live in a town large enough to contain him.

1. Get the bike rack out of the garage and mounted to the the back of the truck.
2. Get the boy’s trailer into the back of the truck.
3. Get the bikes (x2) mounted onto the rack.
4. Lock the bikes to the rack.
5. Lock the rack to the truck.

Just 5 simple steps, but believe me its harder than it seems.  So, we make our way up to the resort and have a wonderful lunch with everyone and spend some time at the pool.  The G-man did some macking on a MUCH older woman (incident to be discussed in another post) and afterword we all went back to the room to shower and relax.  Mom took a look at the weather forecast and realized that today might be our only possibility for a bike ride.  So, fresh-from-the-shower Super Dad heads out to the car to get things ready.

1. Unlock the rack from the truck.
2. Unlock the bikes from the rack.
3. Remove the bikes.
4. Set up the boy’s trailer.
5. Hook the trailer to the back of the bike.
6. Load C into the trailer.
7. Load G into the trailer.
8. Put on the boys seat belts.

At this point the shower is completely pointless as I’m sweating bullets.  But I figure it’s a good thing cause we’re ready for our family bike ride and we were going to have a great time biking along Lake Erie.  Mom took off and I pulled out to follow.  I pushed off and ping!!!  Next thing I know, I’m looking at a broken bicycle chain laying on the ground.  FUCK.  One pedal and that was all she wrote.  Sooooo…

1. Unhook seat belts.
2. Get G out of the trailer.
3. Get C out of the trailer.
4. Get the boy’s trailer into the back of the truck.
5. Get the bikes (x2) mounted onto the rack.
6. Lock the bikes to the rack.
7. Lock the rack to the truck.

Oh yeah… don’t forget now I’ve got to take another shower in time for dinner.  At least the chain didn’t break when we were two miles out on our ride.

G has made great strides this summer both in the pool and on the bike.  A few weeks back we went down to Lake Erie and took a bike ride along the lake with the G-man riding his own bike!  Way to go big man!  The other night, we decided to hit the trails around home the other night and G wanted to ride his own bike once again… for a while.

C was content to sit in his trailer (which Super Dad naturally pulls) but G insisted when we left the house that he wanted to ride.  We asked if he was sure as we were going to go for quite a while and he insisted that he’d be OK.  As you can imagine, he did great… for about a mile or so until he decided that he was tired.  So… what to do.  The G-man is tired, it’s starting to get late and we’re a mile from home on the golf course.  I didn’t want to leave the bike, so I did what every (stupid) dad would do… picked it up and rode home.

Now I get a good enough workout as it is when I’m pulling the boys.  Between them and the trailer, I’m pulling an additional 100+ lbs not to mention my fat ass.  Throw in the weight of this bike which I’m carrying with one hand and needless to say I was sweating like a pig when I got home.  (It WAS like 90 degrees outside with like a billion % humidity as well).  After all my trials though, I do have to say that it was totally worth it to see G & C in the back having the time of their lives.  Man am I going to miss summer.