Still with me?  OK… here goes.  In no particular order.

You think Hogan looks old here? This was in 2008!

Mandatory Retirement Age

Now before you get your panties in a bunch realize that I’m not talking about a literal “happy birthday, you’re fired” retirement age.  I’m talking about that point in time where the wrestling business has passed you by.  Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair & Sting… I’m looking directly at the three of you.  You guys are legends of the wrestling business.  In fact, you’re probably (arguably) 3 of the top 5 or 10 wrestlers of all time.  But it’s over.  Please go away.  Don’t step in the ring.  Father time has caught up with you and you simply cannot “bring it” any more.  If you want to stick around the business in some non-performer role I’ve got no problem with it, but your days cutting promos, blading and trying to hang with the young guys are over.

Specifically talking to Flair and Hogan here.  Guys, you’ve ruined your legacy.  Note that I didn’t say “you’re ruining your legacy.”  Nope… that would imply that there’s a chance of NOT ruining it.  You’re both well beyond that.  You’re not only shells of your former selves, but you’re downright embarrassing at this point.  I’m sorry to say it cause I’ve got nothing but respect for you, but you’re pathetic.

And before you think that this is only an anti-TNA rant the WWE has its share of guys that are WELL beyond their prime.  The Undertaker is my all time favorite wrestler… but hung on way too long (though he only works about 3-6 months a year).  Bret Hart keeps trying to roll his way to the ring.  Kevin Nash finds himself in the middle of the main program.  Fucking Jerry Lawler main evented a PPV last year and made his FIRST WrestleMania appearance.  I hate the term “youth movement” but in this case it’s necessary.

So much for that title lineage...

Less Titles That Mean More

Ever since WWE purchased WCW (and essentially ECW) there are just too damn many titles.  WWE has the WWE Championship, World Heavyweight Championship, US, Intercontinental, Tag Team, Divas, and pretty soon (in all likelihood) Internet.  TNA has the World Heavyweight, Television, Tag Team, X Division, Knockout, and Knockout Tag Team.  In 2 federations, that’s 13 titles.  It seems like every match on every PPV is for a title.  They’ve been WAY watered down.  The WWE should combine the US & Intercontinental and the WWE and World titles.  TNA has no need a Knockout Tag Team title.  There’s too many titles and because of that they don’t mean shit.

Back in the day it MEANT something to be the Intercontinental Champion.  Honky Tonk Man was one of the best heels in history when he held the IC strap.  Why?  Cause the title meant something and he cheated to hold onto it.  Bret Hart and the British Bulldog main evented a PPV for the Intercontinental title in one of the best matches of all time.  These titles are nothing more than props at this point… they’re swapped with such regularity that it becomes difficult to even keep track of who’s champ.  The WWE championship and the TNA World Title have changed hands 6 times so far this year. The WWE & IC titles 4.  Those “prestigious” titles just simply should be swapping that often… it diminishes them.  I’d absolutely LOVE for Alberto Del Rio to hold onto the title through WrestleMania this year.  It’d make his match absolutely HUGE regardless of who he’s wrestling.  But if history is any indication… he’ll drop it in a PPV or two.

Finally starting to showcase Ziggler's brilliance

Push More Talent

I understand that some people sell more merchandise than others.  I understand that there will always be talent that rises to the top and thus gets more airtime that others.  I understand that this is a business and the feds are in it to make money.  But Jesus Christ… if I’ve got to hear that damn John Cena theme song one more time I’m going to shoot someone.  If I need to watch Eric Bischoff roll down to the ring to babble for 20 minutes with Hulk Hogan (brother) I’m going to puke (brother).  There’s a whole SLEW of talented guys that are relegated to secondary shows (Smackdown) or worse yet Internet or house shows.  We always hear about how both WWE and TNA are cutting back their rosters.  Back in the day both the WWF and WCW/NWA rosters were huge.  You know why?  Cause there were jobbers.  There were guys on the roster who’s only reason for being employed was to lose.  To make the stars look good.  The Iron Mike Sharpe’s and Barry O’s of the world are no longer there.  That’s a very bad thing.

Not only did we have jobbers, but the shows weren’t based around 1 or 2 top guys.  In the “Attitude Era” damn near every guy on the roster could win on any given night.  Damn near every guy could and would main event a show.  Part of that is that there was an overload of talent in the wrestling business at that time.  But another BIG part of it was the fact that they’d had enough TV time to build their characters and people knew who they were… and cared about them.  Sure, there were guys that stood out and had more TV time (Rock, Austin, Hogan, Hall & Nash) but those shows didn’t REVOLVE around them like WWE does Cena and TNA does Hogan/Bischoff these days.  Note to TNA, please see point #1 above.

I saw both Benoit & Guerrero win titles at WrestleMania XX. Both Gone.

Drug Testing

The drug testing policies in both the WWE and TNA are complete shams.  I don’t care what Vince McMahon and Dixie Carter say, it’s not being addressed.  Just in the last couple of months, Kurt Angle, Jeff & Matt Hardy, and Sin Cara (off the top of my head) have been linked to issues. These aren’t “isolated incidences” as we’re lead to believe.  Here’s the most comprehensive list of dead wrestlers I could find… 261 of them.   Sure, not all of them were drug related, but quite a few of them were.  Not just quite a few… more than quite a few.  Like, a shit ton more.

Just since the year 2000, check out this (very partial) list:

• Gary Albright (heart attack age 34)
• Bobby Duncam Jr. (drug overdose age 34)
• Yokozuna (heart attack age 34)
• Terry Gordy (heart attack age 40)
• Russ Haas (heart failure age 27)
• British Bulldog (heart attack age 39)
• Curt Hennig (drug overdose age 44)
• Miss Elizabeth (drug overdose age 42)
• Road Warrior Hawk (heart attack age 46)
• Hercules Hernandez (heart attack age 45)

Seeing a pattern yet?

• Big Boss Man (heart attack age 42)
• Eddie Guerrro (heart failure age 38)
• Bam Bam Bigelow (drug overdose age 45)
• Test (drug overdose age 34)

And that’s just the names most people would know.  Folks… it’s an issue.  Plain and simple.  There are just WAY too many heart issues for folks that are that young and in that good of shape.  Hell, if all these people are having “natural” heart attacks in the shape their in… I’m fucked.  Institute a mandatory drug testing policy with mandatory penalties.  3 strikes and you’re fucked.  Go home forever.  See you on the “Where Are They Now” DVD in a few years.

I’ve got a few more, but I’ve already ranted and rambled for over 1,200 words so I’ll stop with these.  I’m very passionate about this stuff because regardless of how much crap I take for it, I love professional wrestling.  I’ve enjoyed it for 3 decades and plan on enjoying it for many more to come.  I just really think that if some of these changes were made not only would I enjoy it more, but more wrestling fans would return or find it for the first time.

What do you think… Am I off base?  Comments welcome!

Event:

This show was billed as having a “double main event” which rarely (if ever) works out.  I believe that this is the first Mania event that I watched live on PPV.  We get Gorilla and Bobby Heenan on the mic here which is a good lineup.  Reba McEntire sings the national anthem.  It seems weird that the WWF can never make up its mind.  National anthem or America The Beautiful?

Shawn Michaels (with Sensational Sherri) defeated El Matador
Tito’s gone “El Matador” on us which is just so sad.  Shawn is heel at this point and really coming into his own as a singles wrestler (even though he’s leading off this card against an aging Tito).  Tito in charge early and sends HBK to the outside.  He yanks him back in and goes directly into a side headlock (rest) that lasts WAY too long.  Come on guys… you can’t be gassed yet can you?  Small package?  Side headlock.  Whip to ropes hop over?  Side headlock.  Shawn gains the upperhand when Tito goes to the ropes and Shawn sidesteps him and throws him over the top.  HBK is sporting a beautifully fluffed mullet at this point.  Very slow match.  HBK hits his super kick which is not yet named “Sweet Chin Music” but rather the more mundane “crescent kick”.  He goes for his side suplex finisher but Tito catches him with a forearm and follows up with his flying forearm and sends Shawn to the outside.  Tito brings him back and and Shawn scores a pin out of nowhere for the win.  No replay on that one.  Pretty weak match.

Before the next match we get an interview the Legion of Doom and Paul Ellering.  “We’re the best blah blah blah”, “We’re not here to mess around blah blah blah”.  “Ooooo, what a rush…”

The Undertaker (with Paul Bearer) defeated Jake Roberts
Pre-match we get a Sean Mooney interview with Jake where he’s talking about how Jack Tunny says that he can’t bring a snake to the ring.  After that we get a nice recap package of this feud.  Undertaker is a face by the point but is still doing the very methodical/plodding thing in the ring.  Jake is doing the quick strike approach keeping his distance in the ring.  Jake hits a clothesline which sends Taker over the top 360 style but he lands on his feet.  Back in the ring, Jake continues with the upper hand until Undertaker takes over with some blatant  choke holds.  Taker breaks out the heavy artillery and hits some big moves (elbows, clotheslines, etc.)  Jake hits the DDT out of nowhere and Taker sits right up.  Jake plants him HARD with a second one and Taker stays down.  Instead of going for the win, Jake goes outside and grabs Paul.  This of course allows Taker time to grab Jake on the outside and hit the Tombstone on the concrete.  He rolls Jake in and covers him for the win.  Once again we get no recaps here.  Pretty slow match, but great for vintage Undertaker fans out there.

WWF Intercontinental Championship
Bret Hart defeated Roddy Piper (c)
One of my Top WrestleMania Matches of all time and watching it again reaffirms that it was a good choice to be put on the list.  Before the match we get an interview with both champ and challenger at the same time.  Once we get in the ring we get right to it with a slew of arm drags.  Bret uses some leverage and tosses Roddy to the outside.  He gets pissed and proceeds to spit on Bret.  Strength test followed by a great spot where Bret grabs onto Roddy’s arm and won’t let go for like two minutes.  Hitman then “hurts his shoulder” and when Piper gets close enough he goes for a small package in the center of the ring… nice.  Piper hits a bulldog on Hart and Bret blades.  Not the best blade job of his career but it gets the job done and he’s bleeding like a stuck pig.  Roddy’s in control until we get a classic double clothesline.  Piper goes to the top (WTF???) and Bret catches him and turns it into his “5 Moves Of Death” -  inverted atomic drop, suplex, Russian leg sweep, neck breaker and back breaker but can’t get the Sharpshooter on.  A while later we get a ref bump.  Piper grabs the bell and does the “good guy” thing and decides not to use it.  He slaps a sleeper on Bret and Bret uses the turnbuckle to flip over.  Piper doesn’t release the hold and gets pinned.  Piper presents the belt to Hitman and they hug it out.  Outstanding match.

Next up we get an interview with Lex Luger sitting at home pimping the World Bodybuilding Federation.  He drinks a milkshake.  If that sounds pretty pathetic and boring it’s cause it is.

The Big Boss Man, Virgil, Sgt. Slaughter, and Jim Duggan defeated The Nasty Boys (Brian Knobbs and Jerry Sags), Repo Man, and The Mountie (with Jimmy Hart)
Before this match gets started, we get interviews with the participants.  The interviews include so many wrestling cliches it’s not even funny.  Actually, it is kind of funny.  Ray Combs (of Family Feud fame) is announcing and trying to be clever.  I’ve just got to say… an 8 man?  Really?  Did I stumble into Survivor Series?  Pretty standard 8 man match here and nothing really noteworthy.  The end comes when Big Boss Man catches Mountie off the second rope and slams him.  A melee  ensues.  One Nasty Boy holds Virgil while the other winds up to hit him.  Naturally, Virgil ducks and one Nasty knocks the other out.  Good guys win.  Recommendation?  Fast forward.

WWF Championship
Randy Savage (with Miss Elizabeth) defeated Ric Flair (c) (with Mr. Perfect)
Flair out first.  I’ll say it again, the champ should ALWAYS come out last.  Randy’s jogging to the ring.  When the hell did he get un-retired?  No Liz by his side.  Savage comes out on fire and takes control.  Bobby is going crazy but this lasts only until Savage gets back dropped to the outside.  Flair takes over with typical moves – chops, suplex, etc.  Savage getting his ass kicked for a good 8-9 minutes.  Ric going very slow and cocky… classic Flair.  Strut, beat, strut, beat.  Savage finally comes out of a corner and mounts some offense.  Flair goes up to the top (never a good sign) and naturally gets caught/slammed.  Double axe handle off the top to the outside from Savage.  “Flair flop” on the outside after getting rammed on the post.  Flair blades bad and is busted open.  Not sure where I read it, but Flair was fined quite a bit for this move as this was during a “no blood” period of the WWF.  Savage nails the elbow but Perfect stops the count.  Perfect then gives Flair a foreign object who proceeds to drill Savage with it.  Flair is REALLY bloody here.  We get a good spot with Flair sinking in the figure four on Savage and he’s got to really work to get out.  Out of nowhere, Savage goes for a rollover, pulls the trunks and gets the win and the title.  Post match, Flair kisses Liz (who’d made her way to ringside during the match) and she slaps him.  Classic Flair/Savage interviews post match in the dressing room.  Good stuff.  This is the version of Flair that I love (a cocky heel) and also my favorite version of the Macho Man (a little bit crazy).

Tatanka defeated Rick Martel
Christ.  Tatanka comes to the ring with some dancing indians.  This is worse than the opening to the Olympic games.  Bobby Heenan and Gorilla continue to talk about the Savage/Flair match WELL into this one (which tells you what you need to know about this match).  Martel playing the heel and Bobby Heenan being so un-PC it’s hilarious.  “Hey how are ya, hey how are ya.”.  Wow.  Model goes up and gets crotched on the top.  Tatanka hits a cross body out of nowhere for the win.  Lame.

WWF Tag Team Championship
The Natural Disasters (Earthquake and Typhoon) defeated Money Inc. (Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster) (c) (with Jimmy Hart) by countout
Earthquake now has a clone named Tugboat… ugh.  If you’ve been reading these recaps you know that I’m not a big fan of Earthquake, so you can imagine how much I’d like ANOTHER fat dude that can’t wrestle.  DiBiase and Schyster are good wrestlers, but even they can’t carry the Disasters along through this sloppy match.  Earthquake goes for his “balls to the face” finisher but Jimmy Hart sneaks in and pulls IRS out.  The champs walk out of the arena to get counted out.

Owen Hart defeated Skinner
Owen does a back flip into the ring and Skinner spits in his face to start the match.  After only a minute or so, Owen goes for a sunset flip and it’s over.  I simply do not understand why matches like this are on a WrestleMania card.  Save this shit for the Saturday morning shows or Raw.  I love Owen, but stuff like this is a complete waste of time and does nothing except piss off the fans.

Hulk Hogan defeated Sid Justice (with Harvey Wippleman) by disqualification
Pre-match we get an interview with Hogan and Vince where Hogan is asked if this is his “last match”.  In retrospect this is just laughable.  Sid does an interview complete with his “rule the world” bit which always kind of bored me.  “Real American” hits and the crowd goes wild.  Sid attacks before the bell rings and Hogan fights him off while the music continues to play.  The crowd is fucking HOT right now.  After a great opening this match slows down considerably.  Lots of time on the outside of the ring for Sid.  Back in we get a test of strength which is nothing more than a rest hold.  Sid hits a choke slam out of nowhere and then proceeds to talk to the camera rather than going for a pin.  When he returns, he goes straight into another rest hold (the shoulder pinch of doom) and Hogan’s hand falls twice.  Hogan powers out and Side regains control with a side suplex and shortly thereafter hits his power bomb finisher.  The power bomb actually looked pretty good.  I don’t remember Hogan taking that many big moves.  Hogan kicks out and “Hulks Up” hitting the boot, body slam and the big leg drop.  Sid kicks out!  Very happy to see this as that damn move always put people out.  I remember watching this not knowing what the hell was going to happen now.  Wippelman in and causes the DQ.  Papa Shango (WTF) comes out and starts beating on Hogan with Sid.  Hogan’s tied in the ropes and the Warrior’s music hits!  Warrior flies to the ring and clears house.  He and Hogan pose down to end the show.

General Thoughts

• In a dark match, the Bushwackers defeated The Beverly Brothers.  Thank God for dark matches.
• Apparently there was a match scheduled between The British Bulldog and The Berzerker which had to be scrapped due to time constraints.  Not really sure why as the match times only run just over an hour and a half.
• Heenan says, “I’m Indiana’s favorite Bobby.”  Absolutely hilarious seeing as this is prime time Bobby Knight country and point in his career.
• Heenan is now known as a “broadcast journalist” – a title which would follow him for quite a few years.
• Saw a couple of Horsemen banners in the crowd.  I still wish the WWF would/could have brought that stable in.  Woo!
• Warrior looked much smaller than when he left the WWF.  This no doubt fueled the rumors that this was a “new” Ultimate Warrior and that the original had died.

As for TNA I certainly can’t fault them either… these are big names in the wrestling business and they’d be stupid just to let them sit at home or worse yet to go to work for another competing promotion.  The problem that I’ve got with TNA here is the WAY they’re using their talent.  When I tuned in a couple of weeks back I could have sworn I was watching a WCW Monday Nitro show from about 10 years ago.  I was given a show with Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan calling the shots, Hall & Nash causing a ruckus and Sting hanging out in the rafters.  I mean really… is this the best you can do TNA?

In any case, I got to thinking about just how may retreads TNA actually had so I went and did some research.  Without further adieu, here’s what I found from the current TNA roster.

1. A.J. Styles (Allen Jones) – WCW
2. Bobby Lashley (Franklin Lashley) – WWE
3. Brian Knobbs (Brian Yandrisovitz) – WCW & WWE as part of the Nasty Boys
4. Brother Devon (Devon Hughes) – ECW & WWE as part of the Dudley Boys
5. Brother Ray (Mark LoMonaco) – ECW & WWE as part of the Dudley Boys
6. D’Angelo Dinero (Elijah Burke) – WWE
7. Dr. Stevie (Michael Manna) – ECW, WCE & WWE as Steven Richards, Big Steevie Cool, etc.
8. Jeff Hardy (Jeff Hardy) – WWE
9. Jeff Jarrett (Jeff Jarrett) – WWE, WCW as Jeff Jarrett and Double J
10. Jerry Sags (Jerome Saganovich) – WCW & WWE as part of the Nasty Boys
11. Kevin Nash (Kevin Nash) – WCW, WWE as Diesel, Kevin Nash, etc.
12. Kurt Angle (Kurt Angle) – WWF, WWE
13. Matt Morgan (Matt Morgan) – WWE
14. Mick Foley (Mick Foley) – WCW,ECW, WWE as Mankind, Dude Love, etc.
15. Mr. Anderson (Ken Anderson) – WWE as Mr. Kennedy
16. Orlando Jordan (Orlando Jordan) – WWE
17. Raven (Scott Levy) – ECW, WCW, WWE
18. Rhino (Terry Gerin) – ECW, WWE
19. Scott Hall (Scott Hall) – WCW, WWE as Razor Ramon, Diamond Stud, Scott Hall, etc.
20. Scott Steiner (Scott Rechsteiner) – WCW, ECW, WWE
21. Sean Morley (Sean Morley) – WWE as Val Venis
22. Sting (Steve Borden) – WCW
23. Syxx-Pac (Sean Waltman) – WCW, WWE as X-Pac, 1-2-3 Kid
24. Tomko (Travis Tomko) – WWE as Tyson Tomko
25. Daffney (Shannon Spruill) – WCW
26. Ric Flair (Richard Fliehr) – WCW, WWE
27. Taz  (Peter Senerchia) – ECW, WWE
28. Tara (Lisa Marie Varon) – WWE as Victoria
29. Christy Hemme (Christy Hemme) – WWE
30. Eric Bischoff  (Eric Bischoff)
31. Hector Guerrero (Hector Guerrero) – WWE as the Gobbledy Gooker
32. Hulk Hogan (Terry Bollea)  – WWE, WCW

32 names.  And that’s not to mention some of the off camera talent such as writers, road agents and referees.  The list grows even more if you include folks that have had developmental contracts with the WWE.  One thing that I found very entertaining is the stories behind some of these folks.  Why they went to TNA, why they left WWE, etc.  If you’re looking for some good stories head to Google or Wiki and enjoy!

Carlito & Primo vs. John Morrison & The Miz – no fucking idea why this wasn’t shown.  I’m not a huge fan of tag team wrestling but these guys are pretty solid in the ring and it would have been nice to see more of the roster on the 25th WrestleMania show.  This is especially true when we got what we did (keep reading).

Money In The Bank – good opener but I don’t think it should have been the opener.  This match included CM Punk, Mark Henry,  MVP, Finlay, Shelton Benjamin, Kofi Kingston, Christian Cage and Kane.  REALLY sloppy but I suppose I can forgive it cause there’s just so much going on.  Pretty sure Shelton took a header and no one caught him.  Ouch.

Kid Rock Performance – OK…  I love his music but what… the… fuck!  There’s absolutely NO NEED for him to sing 4 songs.  This is time that was wasted and should have been spent elsewhere on the show.

Diva Battle Royal – Um… OK.  Have a dude win Miss WrestleMania???  As Pip said, that’s the kind of thing that you should do like the 5th or 6th time you have this battle royal… not the first and CERTAINLY not on this show.  The announcers didn’t even know who was in the ring.  Pathetic.  These weren’t announced on the show so in case you’re interested here’s the divas that were included:  Santina Marella, Eve Torres, Jillian, Katie Lea, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Melina, Maria, Natalya, Mickie James, Tiffany, Rosa Mendez, Joy Giovanni, Molly Holly, Jackie Gayda, Sunny, Torrie Wilson and Victoria.

Chris Jerico vs. Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka & Ricky Steamboat (with Ric Flair) – There’s dust that’s younger than Snuka and his one man-boob sticking out was just terrible.  I can’t remember Piper EVER doing a dropkick and his one-legged variation reminded me why.  Steamboat was awesome… simply amazing.  We made a comment that he could get in there today and win the IC title.  It was so great to see a “legend” that still has it.  Thank you Ricky Steamboat!  The Wrestler was a great movie but the whole Rourke tie-in was gay on the PPV.  We totally saw it coming and his doing with 1 punch what the other guys couldn’t do three on one?  Come on.  WWE fans deserve better than this.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy – I actually put the boys to bed during this and heard that I didn’t miss much.  The final twist of fate was pretty cool through from what I saw on the replay.

JBL/Rey Misterio - huh???  JBL’s been talking for weeks about how he’s going to do something “special” at WrestleMania.  So he goes out, proceeds to lose the Intercontinental title in 21 seconds and then quit?  Whatever.  JBL deserves better than this.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels – WOW!!!  Fucking wow.  This right here made it worth the $55 that I spent on the show.  Absolutely unbelievable.  This match just got itself a spot in my “Top 10 WrestleMania matches” list.  SO glad that they kept the streak intact.  In fact I’ll be super fucking bitter if they ever end it.  Mean Mark Calloway deserves to retire with it.

Edge vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena – I thought for sure that Edge or Show was going to take it.  I was pleasantly surprised that Cena took it down.  I really like him as champ rather than playing the role of chasing the title.

HHH vs. Randy Orton – OK… what the hell happened here?  They were running WAY late on the show and someone must have told them to go home right then.  Weak ending to a pretty poor match and it was even worse that this was the main event of the show.  I can only assume (based on this debacle) that this feud isn’t over.

GENERAL THOUGHTS:

This felt like any other show.  Aside from the “legends” match and the piss poor HOF stuff there was nothing special about this “25th anniversary edition.  How can you NOT have Hogan, Warrior, Hart, Savage, etc. on this show?  I know that there’s a TON of bad blood there but come on!

How could we have this show without the McMahons?  This just seemed pretty poorly thought out.  I’d definitely give the writing crew a bad grade here.

Anyone watch the HOF on USA Saturday night?  20 minutes of Steamboat, 5 minutes of “the others” and the rest of the show for Austin.  Stone Cold is OBVIOUSLY the biggest player there but you’ve just GOT to include some more people in your coverage.

And why… in the hell… was Koko inducted?  If you watch the montage they showed it goes like this:

Koko beating a jobber
Koko beating a jobber
Koko as part of a 3 man tag match
Koko beating a jobber
Oh, Koko lost that match
Koko beating a jobber
Koko beating a jobber

What the hell… I’d just like to announce right here that I’ll be inducted next year as the WWE’s number 1 fan.  Apparently all it takes is longevity.

Ugh…

* chewie runs away and waits for the DVD to come out which he KNOWS he’ll have to buy *

As you’re reading this review keep in mind that I’m a “smart” wrestling fan.  Please recognize that the term “smart” as it’s used here has nothing to do with intellect.  In fact that I’m a wrestling fan at all could call into play just how intelligent I am.  The term “smart” refers to somebody who understands how the wrestling business works and what goes on behind the scenes.  I hate to break it to you, but yes wrestling is “fake” insomuch as the outcomes are predetermined.  That said, the blood, chair shots, body slams, etc. are completely real.  But I digress…

The Wrestler follows professional wrestler Randy “The Ram” Robinson around the independent circuit.  Ram is well past his hey day at this point in his career and he’s simply trying to hang on for one last pay day (think Hulk Hogan or Ric Flair of present day).  As the story progresses we learn that Ram is basically a fuck up.  His world revolves around wrestling completely.  He’s let relationships come and go because of his profession, he’s done things to his body to jeopardize his long term health for his profession and he’s alone because of his profession.  Unfortunately this is a very accurate portrayal of the life of a professional wrestler.

THE WRESTLING: Actually, there is very little wrestling in this movie.  There’s a couple of matches early in the flick and then one at the end but the middle of the movie is sans wrestling action.  The wrestling scenes are done very well and really show what it’s like to be in the ring.  Not only do we see what the fans would see but we also get an inside look at what’s REALLY going on in the ring.  We get to see how the wrestlers are communicating with one another and how the matches are orchestrated.  There’s a “hardcore” match in there that is absolutely brutal.  If you’ve got a queezy stomach you’re going to want to turn you’re head a couple of times during this part of the movie.  The Wrestler relies less on its sport than say Rocky does on boxing.  The story is really about the man rather than the sport he loves.

THE PROS: The acting in this movie is absolutely incredible!  Mickey Rourke gives a performance that will bring a tear to your eye.  His stuff as a wrestler is great but I actually enjoyed is stuff outside the ring better.  He has an ongoing relationship with a stripper (Marisa Tomei) that becomes the the main story in the middle of the flick.  His broken relationship with his daughter (Evan Rachel Wood) drives many of his actions and allows The Ram opportunities to succeed and fail as a father.  The writing is top notch and with Rourke delivering lines like “I’m an old broken down piece of meat and I deserve to be all alone, I just don’t want you to hate me,” you really get into the story and start to feel the pain that he’s going through.

The non wrestling stuff in here is what makes this movie for me.  Seeing Randy deal with “real life” is sometimes funny, sometimes sad but always interesting.  There’s a scene in the ACME that show “a day in the life of The Ram” and it’s incredible.  This is a character study film and it’s flawless in that vein.

I mention Tomei’s portrayal as stripper Cassidy.  All I’ve got to say is “WOW”.  No body double here and while we don’t get any full frontal this is definitely MUCH better than the “I’m a stripper but I’m not going to show you anything” that Natalie Portman pulled a couple of years back.  In fact, I’m actually kind of surprised that Tomei did as much as she did… definitely a plus for the guys!!!

THE CONS: I’m a big wrestling fan and have been for the better part of 3 decades.  This film was essentially written for me.  It’s gritty and it’s about a wrestler.  That said I’m not sure that a non wrestling fan would “get” just how good this movie is.  In fact, if the only wrestling that you’ve ever been exposed to is WWE on Monday night then I sill don’t think you’ll get it.  A couple of times I had to lean over to my wife and explain just what they were talking about.  They use quite a few inside terms to the wrestling industry (IE, “cheap heat”) that I think are probably lost on a the non wrestling fan.

This movie is shot almost exclusively with hand held cameras and it makes for a very “jerky” film experience (think Blair Witch Project, the first scene of Saving Private Ryan or the last scene of Transformers).  We were sitting about direct center of the theater and my wife not only had to look away quite a bit but eventually got an upset stomach and had to go up into the back of the theater.  It didn’t bother me all that much but I could see how it might bother some people.

The story left a little to be desired in the end.  I’m a big “movie ending guy” so the end of this movie was kind of a let down to me.  Not that it was bad perse, but it just wasn’t as tied together as I’d have hoped for.  It’s one of those that hints at things but never really comes out and says “here’s what happens”.  That said I’m VERY glad that they didn’t go for the obvious ending for the movie.  I guess I was just hoping for more length to this flick… when I see something I like I want to get as much as possible.

CONCLUSIONS: This is a very good movie.  For me as a wrestling fan it’s a great movie.  It’s too genre specific to be considered a great movie by the masses but there’s no doubt that the performances that Mickey Rourke and Marisa Tomei give are incredible.  Those performances, great action sequences and a pretty good story make The Wrestler definitely worth seeing.