The 411 From 406 » poop

Honestly? The Doggie Doo?

Chewie — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 16:43:20 +0000

I ran across this little gem the other day and it compelled me to write. Regardless of my social media banterings, I tend to be a little bit slow on the uptake on these sorts of “phenomenons”.

I’d never heard of a Leap Pad until the wife told me I had to be at Target five mornings a week before 8:00 AM to get one.
I’d never heard of The Elf On The Shelf until last year (Charlie in our house for those keeping track).
I have no idea what Pinterest is or why I would want to use it.

That’s just a few examples and I’m sure there are countless others. But I digress. I ran across this (excuse the pun) piece of shit the other day: The Doggie Doo. Apparently it’s one of this Christmas season’s hottest toys. Seeing as I’d never heard of it, I’ve obviously never played it, but from what I can gather it involves feeding this dog some play dough like substance until it shits. The first player who collects 3 “messes” wins.

The website – http://www.doggiedoogame.com/ – will tell you all about the game, show you some videos, tell you where to buy it and enthrall you with content like this:

“You can only pick up the dog’s mess when it has fallen on the table. When it is hanging outside the end of the dog, just tap him on the back until it drops.”

“If Doggie Doo has stomach problems, and no mess is coming out of the dog, feed him just one more time with the correct amount of food and it should push it out.”

Please allow me to bang my head against my desk for a moment at this scatalogical entry into pop culture. I can only thank God that my kids haven’t caught wind of this yet.

I’ve gotta ask a few questions here:

What parent honestly thinks this is a good toy? I mean lets face it, at least Everyone Poops has some redeeming value as an educational tool. This just seems rather silly to me.
How creepy is the photo on the right? I spose it’s not too bad until you realize it was taken from a toy that promotes dogs pooping so you can win. Gives a new meaning to Charlie Sheen’s “winning” doesn’t it?
Where can I get one? After all, it’s only a matter of time until the boys are thinking about nothing else… crap.

Poop Patrol And One Big BANG

Chewie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 06:49:53 +0000

While all children are different, there is one universal truth when it comes to being a parent… you’re going to change dirty diapers. If you think you’re going to get out of it you’re sorely mistaken. A’s with the boys for the majority of the week on her own so when it comes to the weekend I really do try and do my best to pitch in with diaper duty (and everything else).

So when I got out of bed to get the C-man last weekend it didn’t really surprise me to see that he had himself a dirty diaper… hey. Guy’s got to do what a guy’s go to do right? What did surprise me a bit was the next 4 stinkers that he proceeded to produce in the next few hours. Wow… can that boy poop!

So Saturday night rolls around and we’re sitting down at the dinner table and A’s continuing to do her Super Mom duties. In the middle of dinner she gets up to put a load of laundry in the dryer and BAM… it happened. As soon as I heard it I knew it was bad. We’ve got a stackable washer and dryer and the dryer door on the top had opened without her knowing it. She stood up directly in to the bottom of the door. By the time I got there (about 8 seconds later) there was already quite a bit of blood flowing. G-man was so cute… he came over and tried to console his Mom. Off to the emergency room we went. I’m happy to say that A was a complete trooper through both her Tetanus shot as well as the 7 staples that she had to get in her noggin. And THAT my friends is why I’m not a big fan of laundry… it’s incredibly dangerous!

Lest Ye Think I Have Only One Hellion

Chewie — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:52:18 +0000

Reading back over this blog as I sometimes do I realized that I tend to talk a bit more about the Gman than I do about C. I suppose that’s pretty normal seeing as G is 3 1/2 and C is almost 2. That being said, I certainly don’t want you to think that C doesn’t get in on the action as well. Last weekend he did a GREAT job of reminding us that he’s just as much “little boy” as his older brother.

Incident #1

Bath time for C & G. Both boys were stripped down and waiting for the water to fill up in the tub. Super Dad made the mistake of taking off C’s diaper too soon and before I know it I look over and C is pissing all over the bathroom floor. Instinct took over and I did what anyone would do… I reached out to try and stop it. So now I’m sitting in the bathroom with piss all over the floor, the water running, G yelling, and C smiling a shit eating grin cause he’s peeing all over daddy.

Incident #2

The next day A was taking a shower with the Cman as he absolutely LOVES it. She was done, got out, dried off and next think I know I’m hearing screaming coming from the bathroom. Super Dad springs into action flying up the stairs 3 at a time preparing for the worst. If we’re to refer to the first incident as the “Golden Shower” I suppose we’ll refer to this one as the “Brown Shower”. Yep… poop everywhere. Now I’ve changed my fair share of dirty diapers over the years and at this point I’m pretty much immune to it. But when you actually have to get into to shower to clean off a poopy kid… well, that’s another story all together.

PS – The picture above is C eating his first whole apple. Dude went from eating cut up apple slices on day to full the next. He’s a stud.