Before we get started I want to remind readers that [...]]]> The newest (and perhaps last) entry into the Michael Bay version of the Transformers franchise came out last night – Transformers: Dark Of The Moon.  This review WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS.  If you don’t want to know the story come back after you’ve watched the flick.

Before we get started I want to remind readers that I’m a big Transformers geek so this may be a bit biased.  If you want to get a historical perspective you can check out my reviews of the first two flicks in the franchise here:

• Transformers (2007)
• Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (2009)

Note that I’m one of the few that didn’t completely rip to shreds The Fallen

The Humans

Let’s get one thing out of the way right off the bat.  Megan Fox did not reprise her role as Mikaela Banes this time around.  While that really bummed me out when I first heard about I’m happy to report that the role of “love interest” for Shia LeBeouf’s Sam Witwicky has been more than adequately filled by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley playing Carly Spencer.  Good god is this woman hot.  Oh yeah… and she can ACT!  I was sorry to see Fox gone but very happy to see how she was replaced.

LeBouf turns in an outstanding performance once again.  Not sure what this guy did to become Speilberg and Bay’s goto guy, but he’s making the most out of his opportunity and really shining.  Also reprising their roles are Josh Duhamel (Colonel Lennox), John Tuturro (Agent Simmons), Kevin Dunn & Julie White (Sam’s parents) and Tyrese Gibson (Airforce Chief).  Tuturro and Gibson’s roles are somewhat smaller than they have been in previous films and I’m happy to report that Dunn & White’s roles aren’t nearly as “silly” as they were in Revenge (though they’re clearly in there for a bit of levity).

There are three noteworthy additions to the human cast (aside from the aforementioned P.O.A. Rosie).  Patrick Dempsey, Frances McDormand and John (effing) Malkovich.  Dempsey plays an art collector turned traitor who helps the Decepticons.  I’ve never seen an episode of Grey’s Anatomy so to me he’s still Randy Bodek from Loverboy.  McDormand plays the U.S. Secretary of Defense that I could have done without.  John Malkovich (playing Sam’s boss) is absolutely BRILLIANT in a supporting role.

The Transformers

The old standbys are here: Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Ironhide, Ratchet, Sideswipe, Megatron and Starscream. In addition, we get some new folks that really make this film stand out:

• Sentinel Prime – voiced by Leonard Nimoy this dude is a BAD ASS.  He’s basically an ancestor of Optimus.  Too bad he turns on the Autobots, kills Ironhide and nearly destroys the planet.  At least he gets what’s coming to him.
• Dino/Que – new Autobots that don’t do a whole lot.  Que (who apparently is Wheeljack) is essentially assassinated by Soundwave near the end of the film.  I have to say that was a pretty intense scene.
• The Wreckers – this Autobot commando unit isn’t in the movie for very long but they are AWESOME.
• Soundwave – sure he was in the last flick but now he’s on Earth and kicking ass.  Truly an awesome treatment of one of my all time favorite characters.  Especially when they introduce Laserbeak… WOW.
• Shockwave – the big purple gun from G1 is back as a mix between Megatron and the centennials from The Matrix.  This guy is cool.

The Story

I won’t do a full summary here but I’ll give you the gist.  Sentinal Prime and his ship crash landed on the dark side of the moon years ago.  We knew this which is why humans ever wanted to go to the moon to begin with.  Optimus goes to the moon and revives Sentinal who subsequently turns on the Autobots and sets into motion a plan that he and Megatron had put into motion long ago on Cybertron.  Chicago is the play land for the final fight and the “takeover” by the Decepticons is nothing short of incredible.  The Autobots and humans fight back, shit blows up, people and robots die and we fade to black.

I would have liked to have seen more from Megatron here but I love the fact that they stuck with continuity and his head/face is still messed up from the last flick.  You can tell that they’ve really turned things up a notch when Ironhide dies halfway through the movie.  And when Starscream goes down it’s a very fitting end to his character.

As with any action movie you really need to check your common sense at the door and this one is no different.  I have to say though that not once was I really “taken out” of the movie.  Get your popcorn, sit down and prepare to be entertained.  Don’t look for outstanding and airtight storytelling.  Even though this has a running time of 155 minutes (2 and a half hours +) I never looked at my watch once.   That says good pacing to me.

3D Or Not 3D

Personally I’m not a big fan of 3D movies and for that reason I didn’t see Dark of the Moon in 3D.  They look OK but for me it’s just not worth the extra money (I already paid $9 for a Wednesday evening movie).  Everyone always points at Avatar as the end-all-be-all of 3D movie making.  This isn’t a review of Avatar so I won’t go into it other than to say that movie looked great but sucked balls.  The “novelty” of 3D wore off rather quickly for me and then I was left with a supremely sub-standard movie… but I digress. In fact, with the style of movie making that Michael Bay employs, I’d suggest that the 3D experience may actually be too much.  It’s already an assault on the senses and I’m not sure stuff flying AT me would help my enjoyment of the movie.  I’ve seen quite a few reviews that say you simply MUST see this in 3D.  Personally I don’t care.

Recommendation

It really seems to me that Michael Bay actually LISTENED to the critics of his last flick.  Sure it made a shit ton of money but even fan boys weren’t happy with Revenge of the Fallen.  There are no robot balls, humping, or overly terribly acting.  The “dick and fart” jokes have been cut down on quite a bit.  The dialog is snappy and witty as ever and I’m not sure if it was just me but I could follow the action (between robots) MUCH better here than I ever could in the past.  That may be due to some color changes of the Transformers but I think it had just as much to do with camera work.  Kudos to you Mr. Bay.

Is this going to win any Oscars?  Probably not, but when I go to the movies I go to be entertained.  This was FAR superior to the 2nd entry in the franchise and I’d probably also put it above the 2007 entry into the series.  The robot on robot action was good,  the human acting was a step above anything we’ve seen before, we get new characters (both robot and human) that are a pleasure to watch, the action was as intense as any Bay flick I’ve ever seen and the story held together better than the previous incarnations.  Go see this flick.

The Transformers

More of [...]]]> I’m going to write this review in much the same style that I used for my review of the original movie.  Before we get started realize that this will contain spoilers so if you want to watch the movie fresh skip this post and come back after viewing.

The Transformers

More of the same goodness that we got in the first movie.  Optimus Prime kicks MAJOR ass in this flick.  At one point he roars “I’ll take you all on” and I literally got goose bumps.  That was of course until he went and got himself “killed”.  Silly Optimus.  Megatron is back from the depths of the ocean in this one and he’s still a bad ass.  Making their first appearances in live action are Soundwave and Ravage.  If you remember them from the cartoons Soundwave was the little tape player and Ravage was one of the cassette tapes that went in him.  For obvious reasons they don’t take on these forms in a movie set in present day (as they’d have to be antiques in order for it to make any sense).  Soundwave is used very well and Ravage is AWESOME in his action sequences.

The title of the movie takes its name from another new Decepticon: The Fallen.  Think of him as the main bad guy.  In fact, he’s the guy that made Megatron bad to begin with.  Without going into too much of his back story he was one of the original 13 Transformers also known as the “Dynasty Of The Primes”.

Two other new bots of note are Jetfire and Devastator.  Jetfire is a geriatric Decepticon turned Autobot who has been in hiding at the Smithsonian in Washington for decades.  Devastator is a Decepticon who is formed out of multiple bots to form one super bot capable of “eating” anything in its path.  Both of these characters had cartoon versions and seeing them on the big screen was super cool.

Finally I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention “Alice” played by Isabel Lucas.  She’s originally introduced as a dorm mate of Sam at college who has the hots for him.  It turns out she’s actually a Decepticon posing as a human.  This is one of the big problems I had with the flick.  I have not problems suspending disbelief but this was a bit much for me.  For what it’s worth… Isabel Lucas is smokin.

The Humans

More of the same here.  If you enjoyed Shia LaBeouf (Sam Witwicky) and Megan Fox (Mikaela Barns) in the first film you’ll enjoy them here.  Shia talks like he’s on speed the entire movie and Megan wears outfits that should probably be banned.  If possible Megan Fox is hotter in this flick than she was in the last.  Wow.  Back again are Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson playing U.S. special forces and John Tuturro as former agent of Sector 7.

Sam’s mom and dad are once again played by Kevin Dunn and Julie White.  These characters are given an over the top treatment in this flick culminating with mom mistakenly eating pot brownies while visiting Sam at college.  While kind of humorous, it’s this type of stuff that could have been left out.

Ramón Rodríguez plays Sam’s roommate Leo Spitz who runs an Internet site all about conspiracy theories.  Of course he’s got a ton of information about the events of the first film which Sam denies.  His character is included more from a slap stick humor perspective as opposed to a true plot-driver.

The Backlash

This film was pretty much universally destroyed by critics.  Based on that I went into it with pretty low expectation but as I said in a previous post I was still really excited to see it.  After seeing it I really don’t know what all the uproar is about.  The problems that I had with the first one are still present here:

1. It’s difficult to tell who’s who when the robots are fighting one another.
2. The human dialog is WAY too fast and tries to be too witty.
3. Most of the time the Autobots / Decepticons aren’t really introduced

Again, these are things that I had problems with in the first one.  Michael Bay is known for being an ACTION director.  If you’re expecting Hamlet you’re going to be disappointed… but shame on your for expecting Hamlet.

I do have a couple of issues with the film outside of what I’ve outlined above.

1. The Fallen – he’s supposed to be some supreme bad ass and Prime kicks his ass relatively quickly.  I know this is a minor thing but I thought I’d point it out.
2. The whole “human into robot” thing described above.  I know it’s a movie and I’m supposed to give some leeway but this was a bit much for me.
3. Sam going “into the Matrix”.  While it was COMPLETELY AWESOME to see the Matrix Of Leadership on film it was kind of crazy for a human to die, go into the Matrix and gain knowledge from it (A la Optimus in the Red Dust episodes from the cartoons).

Recommendation

All of those bad points aside you really should see this flick.  If you enjoyed the first film I don’t see how you can’t enjoy this one… it’s more of the same stuff PLUS you get quite a few new characters.  The bottom line is this – as long as Michael Bay is making movie about big robots that talk and transform I’m going to be in line to see them.  As of this writing, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen has grossed $339 Million.  That to me sounds like an equation for more Transformers movies in the future.  Get out there and see it!

For those that don’t know, [...]]]> It’s summertime and that means blockbuster movies of the week!  Last night at midnight, the sequel to Michael Bay’s Transformers hit the big screen.  Already this morning the movie is being absolutely slammed in reviews.  It’s being called slow, plodding, etc.  And I can’t wait to see it!

For those that don’t know, The Transformers are robots that morph (transform) into vehicles and other objects to blend in to their surroundings.  The property first came to us in the mid 80′s as a cartoon and has since spawned three (as of last night) theatrical releases, comic books, toys and and episodic television show.  I’m a child of the 80′s.  I lived for the Transformers.  It was my favorite show to rush home from school to watch.  I had the toys, I went to the movies, I pretended to be my favorite characters.  That’s why I’m going to this movie… cause I have great memories of this franchise and Michael Bay knows it.

The first movie had its flaws for sure.  I couldn’t tell what was going on when robots were fighting other robots.  The human dialog was kind of sappy.  I wasn’t a big fan of the hand held camera views.  But you know what?  I loved it!  I loved the fact that these robots from my childhood were being brought to life on the screen.  I loved the fact that Megan Fox is in there (just cause I think she’s completely beautiful).  I loved the fact that it didn’t try to be anything but what it was – a balls to the wall action movie.  Many of the reviews of Revenge Of The Fallen that I’m reading are bitching about those same things.  If I could get past them in the first film I’m sure I’ll be able to get past them in the second.

Transformers isn’t the only 80′s franchise that’s going to get my money this summer.  G.I. Joe is getting a big screen treatment of its own later this summer.  I’ve been excited about seeing a live action G.I. Joe flick for years and ever since the first trailer showed up during the Super Bowl this year I’ve been counting down the days.

Unfortunately the early reviews of G.I. Joe – The Rise Of Cobra have not been good.  Reports of the worst test screening in the history of the studio, fired directors, rewritten scripts, etc. have been circulating for a while now.  All I can tell you is this: the trailer was awesome and I’ll be there when this one hits the theaters.  G.I. Joe (like The Transformers) defined who I was when I was growing up in the mid 80′s.  I remember going to the theater to see the original G.I. Joe movie and wondering what the hell Cobra-La was.

These movies get made for one reason: Money.  The movie houses KNOW that there are folks out there like me that will flock to the flicks no matter what kind of garbage is put to screen.  Throw in a couple of toy lines to hook the younger kids and you’ve got yourself a billion dollar property.

This geek simply can’t wait.  Autobots… roll out!  Yo JOE!!!

First off… This is NOT a kids movie.  [...]]]> OK…  I will take this step by step and keep this mostly spoiler free (in case you haven’t seen this flick yet).  Please keep in mind that I saw this in a DLP theater so it was essentially like watching a high definition version of the movie.

First off… This is NOT a kids movie.  Yeah yeah yeah, I know that it’s based on the kids toys from the early 80’s but this is a serious action movie (or as serious as one can get basing a story on robots from another planet that transform into other objects).

This LOOKS like a Michael Bay movie from the beginning.  For those of you that aren’t familiar with his work, he directed Bad Boys, The Rock, Armageddon & Pearl Harbor (among others).  Also I’d like to point out that I’m SUPER excited the the sequel to this movie has already been approved and is in production scheduled to be released in 2009.

If you’re looking for the cartoon storyline you’re going to be disappointed.  Gone is the story of the Matrix of Leadership and the Cybertronian Wars.  While they do make reference to Cybertron the reason that they are on Earth to begin with is completely different from the cartoon story lines.  I won’t go into it here, but suffice to say it’s pretty much just a macguffin.

The Transformers

Overall I think they looked great.  There actually aren’t THAT many characters in the movie.  Of course you’ve got Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Megatron & Starscream but you’re missing some of my favorites including Soundwave (who I hear is going to be in the next flick).  The transformation sequences are done REALLY well and you even get to hear the tell-tale “transform” noise a couple of times.

They brought back Peter Cullen as the voice of Optimus Prime which is SO FUCKING COOL ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY.  Yes, I’m a geek and a fan boy, but it was so worth it.

The Humans

Shia LaBeouf plays an awesome character though it seems as if he’s talking in fucking warp speed for most of the movie.  I’m guessing that his character is based on “Spike” from the cartoons, but the link is never clearly made.

Megan Fox is fucking SMOKING and gets hotter as the damn movie goes on.  I would LOVE to be the dude that’s in charge of spraying her with water so it appears as if she’s sweating… are you fucking kidding me? HOT

Josh Duhamel was in there to get the teenie bopper girl fans.  His particular story line was pretty overdone if you ask me – hence the reason we’ve got a 2.5 hour plus action movie – I was a big fan of Las Vegas before it went off the air so I was pulling for the character.

Rachael Taylor is in the movie as a super hacker pretty much just to be hot I think… nuff said.

Visuals

As I said before it looked like a Mike Bay flick and overall it looked awesome.  The battle scenes were done really well, and there was nothing “toyish” about the Transformers themselves.  The one BIG BITCH that I had about the movie was some of the camera angles.  The last battle scene is about 30-40 minutes long – and it’s shot with the “shaky camera” (think the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan and you’ve got it).  It was so bad that I actually had to look away at one point, but that MAY have been due to the theater I was in.

OK, I’ve rambled on long enough, but I’d give this flick a STRONG 4/5 stars.  Well worth the $$$, especially if you were a fan of a the cartoon (though definitely not necessary).