I know I’m late to the Charlie Sheen game but this is nothing short of EPIC WINNING.   In all honesty, the guys that put this together are SUPER talented.

One of the most inspirational speeches ever put onto film.  And if you’ve never seen Braveheart you need to go out right now and rent it.  Do yourself a favor.

Kevin Smith’s take on “trilogy”.  Further proof that Sir Smith is one of the smartest guys out there.  Totally not suitable for work from a language perspective… but I’m sure you already knew that.

There are currently 3 versions of these stand ups, where Kevin takes questions from the audience and extrapolates his show from there.  The first installment (An Evening With Kevin Smith) came out in 2002, followed by An Evening With Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder in 2006 and Sold Out: A Threevening With Kevin Smith in 2008.  All three installments are absolutely hilarious and cover a wide range of topics from comic books, sex, drugs, movie making and child rearing.  As with Carlin, Smith’s language is definitely not for all audiences.  If profanity offends you, stay the fuck away from this one (sorry… couldn’t resist).

All three of these are absolutely hysterical if you’re a fan of Smith’s body of work.  The first was taken from a series of Q & A sessions done at college campuses in 2002 (Clark University, Cornell University, Indiana University, Kent State University and University of Wyoming if you’re interested).  The second was filmed on location partially at Roy Thomson Hall in Toronto and partially at the Criterion Theatre in London.  Finally, the third installment was filmed in Smith’s hometown in Red Bank, New Jersey on his 37th birthday.  It’s also important to know that that these are LONG shows.  All three are on multiple DVDs if you get them from Netflix… just wanted to make you aware in case you were looking for a short show.  That being said, they’re segmented in such a way that if you need to pause and come back you certainly can.

Granted I’m a huge Smith fan, but I simply cannot recommend these highly enough.  There is a supposed 4th installment in the works which I can’t wait for.  Snoogins.

NOTE: THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987)
Special thanks to my buddy Shawn Prior for hooking me up with this one.  As I said on my twitter feed, “The first 4 minutes of GI Joe the animated movie are some of the best in movie history.”  I hadn’t actually planned on watching this whole flick, but when you’ve got a 2 hour flight, followed by a 2 hour layover and then a 4 hour flight, shit happens.  This flick follows our favorite characters and introduces us to quite a few new ones.  Like most cartoon franchises in the 80′s, G.I. Joe was all about moving product off the shelves and this was a great way to introduce these new characters.  I won’t go into a plot review here other than to say that Cobra finds itself a new Allie in the form of the organic Cobra La.  There are quite a few purists out there that absolutely hate this movie, but I’ve always really enjoyed it.  My one big complaint is how they killed Cobra Commander.  He’s always been one of my favorite characters and for him to go out like that kind of pissed me off.  But then again look what happened to Fett.  If you’re a fan of the franchise I’m sure you’ve already seen this one, but if not you definitely need to.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
I’ve already reviewed this movie previously so I won’t go into a whole lot of detail here.  After watching the 87/animated version I figured I’d stay in the Joe frame of mind and watch the updated version.  I can say that I agree with my thoughts from my original review.  This is a very entertaining action movie that’s not NEARLY as bad as some of the haters out there would lead you to believe.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Being such a bit Potter fan I’m shocked that it’s taken me this long to get to this one (especially since it’s one of my favorite books in the series).  That said, this one is decidedly “so so”.  My fears that there were too much going on in the book to translate onto screen were realized as I found myself time and time again going “huh?”  As with any novel turned flick, it’s difficult sometimes to give the movie audience enough background so they can follow the action.  There were quite a few times here where if I hadn’t read the book I’d have NO IDEA what was going on.  And while the movie house probably assumes that viewers have read the books there are at least a few out there that haven’t… and they’d be lost.  I was very happy with the treatment of Dumbledore’s death but would have liked to have seen his funeral and the battle that ensued as shown in the book.  I can only assume those events will be shown in the forthcoming movies.  As with the books, the story is getting better and better as the movies go on and the movies are LOOKING better and better as we move forward.  I can certainly see why this one made nearly a billion dollars and simply cannot wait for the next Potter flick.

Fanboys (2009)
Seeing as I’m a bit of a fanboy myself this one has been on my radar for quite a while.  This is essentially a road trip movie set to Star Wars.  5 friends decide to trek cross country to break into Skywalker Ranch to get a sneak peak at Episode I: The Phantom Menace.  The movie that ensues is full of Star Wars references, dialog and cameos (Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Ray Park, Kevin Smith, etc.)  Even though this was a colossal flop in the theaters (it cost 8 million to make and grossed less than 1) I can tell you that I completely enjoyed it.  If you’re not a Star Wars fan I’d urge you to stay away because A: you’re not going to get 3/4 of the movie and B: you’re not going to get the other 1/4 of the movie.  The non-Star Wars portion of the plot (one of the characters has cancer which is why they’re on this journey before he dies) simply isn’t strong enough to carry you if you’re not down with the Star Wars stuff.  However… if you’re a Star Wars fan and have been staying away based on the negative reviews and poor box office performance I’d say give it a shot.  May the Force be with you.

At time the book can be a little “boring” but let’s face it… that’s what it’s SUPPOSED to be based on the title and the fact that it’s nothing more than a transcript of Smith’s blog.  However, Smith’s control of the English language in both his script writing as well as his stand up comes through in his blogging style as well.  I laugh out loud watching his movies and I laughed out loud MANY times while reading this book.

The secondary tag line for this book is, “The Uncomfortably Candid Diary Of Kevin Smith” and that’s very accurate.  If you don’t like bad language or discussion about anything and everything when it comes to married life, then you simply will not be able to get through this read.  Smith delves into everything from sex with his wife to his diet (and everything associated with dieting).  While there is no “plot” per se, this follows the time in Smith’s life when he’s filming Catch and Release and directing Clerks 2.  I was also particular fond of the (rather large) section of the book that dealt with Smith’s friend Jason Mewes’ addiction and subsequent cleaning up.

If you’re a fan of Smith and his work then I’d give this a definite thumbs up.  If not you can probably pass.  Unless of course you’re into bad language, potty humor and a bluntness that hasn’t been seen since the likes of George Carlin.

The King Of Kong – A Fistful Of Quarters
I actually saw this a while ago and just never got around to writing a post about it (damn real life getting in the way).  This is a 2007 documentary that tells the story of two men (Steve Wiebe and Billy Mitchell) attempting to break the world record for Donkey Kong.  That’s right… Donkey Kong.  The story portrays Wiebe as the “good guy” going after the “bad guy” Mitchell’s record.  I’ve played quite a few video games in my days and watching this was absolutely awesome.  If you’ve ever played Donkey Kong and remember how damn difficult that game can be you owe it to yourself to check this one out.  Regardless of if you think gaming is a legitimate activity you can’t deny how much work goes in to being a great DK player.   Check this one out.  You won’t be disappointed.

Live Free Or Die Hard
This is a great little action movie.  Unfortunately it’s not really a Die Hard movie.  Sure it’s got John McLane in it, but that’s about where the comparisons to the original trilogy end.  I guess I feel the same way about this one as I did with the remade Friday the 13th – it was a good horror movie, just not a Friday movie.  This time around, McClane is dealing with a group of virtual terrorists who have managed to “take down the grid” so to speak.  Conceptually this is actually pretty damn cool, especially if you’re a techno geek like me.  As with the other Die Hard flicks you really need to suspend disbelief when you start watching this (McClane takes out a helicopter with a truck… don’t ask) but once you get past that stuff it’s really quit enjoyable.  Bruce Willis gives a fine performance as do Justin Long (the Mac guy from the Mac/PC commercials) and Timothy Olyphant (of Deadwood and Hitman fame).  The cast is rounded out nicely with some folks that you may or may not have heard of complete with a small part by one of my favs Kevin Smith.  Go into this understanding what it is (a popcorn movie) and what it really isn’t (a Die Hard movie) and you’ll have a good time.

Avatar
Going into this flick I figured any movie that had made a BILLION dollars and was like 10 years in the making had to be good.  Unfortunately I was wrong.  Let me start out by saying that this movie looked absolutely AMAZING.  I was lucky enough to see it in IMAX 3D and I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that 10 years from now when we look back and what 3D technology has become, we’re going to point to this movie as the one that started it all.  I’ve got to give James Cameron huge props at having a vision and seeing it to fruition.  As for his story telling ability it left quite a bit to be desired.  The best way I can describe this is Dances With Wolves meets The Matrix.  If that seems like a weird mix of plots, it’s cause it is.  I actually fell asleep during the first 30 minutes or so and didn’t miss a damn thing story line wise.  If you can still catch this one in a theater in 3D then I’d recommend you do so simply so you can see the beauty that’s on screen, but if you’ve missed it and your only opportunity is on DVD then it’s a definite pass.

Hot Tub Time Machine
Had a chance to see this when Pip was in town.  Being a child of the 80′s I was interested to see how they’d handle that decade and I’m happy to say that they nailed it (at least in my memory).  This certainly isn’t a “good” movie by any stretch of the imagination, but I have to tell you that I chuckled the whole way through.  The cast that I thought would be suspect works really well together.  John Cusak in probably my favorite roll since Gross Pointe Blank plays the lead, Craig Robinson (of The Office fame), Clark Duke (Kick Ass) and Rob Corddry in a show stealing performance as Lou round out the cast nicely.  In addition, there are some great 80′s cameos (William Zabka… if you’re a kid of the 80′s and you don’t know that name shame on you), Chevy Chase and Crispin Glover.  All of this PLUS, if you’re a Cleveland Browns fan and “The Drive” still bothers you… well, I’ll just say you need to check it out.

Kick Ass
I’ll get the pun out of the way… Kick Ass kicks ass!!!  Being a comic geek I’m always somewhat worried when these things come to the big screen (though there have been some damn good comic movies in the last couple of years.  I was not familiar with this story going into it and boy was I blown away.  This is an edgy and dark story about a normal guy that decides to be a superhero.  No special powers, no utility belt… just a desire to do something that other people won’t.  He learns along the way that he’s not the only person who’s had this idea and meets up with Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage) and his daughter Hit-Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz).  While this is a comic book film, it’s in the same style as the darker comic flicks we’ve been given lately – Dark Knight, Sin City, etc.  This is a very violent movie and definitely not for kids but as an adult DAMN was it a good time!

• How many moons does the earth have?  At least 7.
• The hottest part of a chili?  It’s the central membrane.
• A jalapeno = 4,500 SHUs (Scoville Heat Units) which means it needs to be watered down 4,500 times until you can’t taste it any more.
• The hottest chili is a “dorset” which chimes in at 923,000 SHU – holy shit!
• What effect does alcohol have on brain cells?  It doesn’t actually kill them (YEA!!!)  In fact, it just makes new ones grow less quickly.
• A hangover actually comes from the brain shrinking due to dehydration.  The brain itself feels no pain… it’s actually the membrane around the brain.

A couple of hundred pages of stuff like that.  Some are more interesting than others for sure but it definitely held my interest.  My one big bitch was that there was many times way too much info about a particular nugget of info.  For example telling me that Columbus did not in fact discover America but some other dude did is kind of cool.  Going on for a page and a half about said dude’s back story and where Columbus actually landed was not.

Some folks may really like this.  For me there were some interesting stuff and other stuff that I just skipped over.  Definitely a good bathroom book!

Ben Affleck plays Ollie, a single father who loses his wife (Jennifer Lopez) as she gives birth to their daughter.  Ollie’s world is turned upside down and he not only needs to learn to cope with life on his own, but also as a new father.  Luckily his father (played by George Carlin) is there to help him through some really rough times.  Liv Tyler plays Ollie’s new love interest as a sexually aggressive college student / video clerk.

The dialogue here isn’t up to Smith’s standard but then again not much is.  It’s still far and away better than most out there.  I definitely wouldn’t call this a comedy due to the morbid nature of the story but there is definitely some funny stuff in there.  I will say that we don’t get much of an “end” to the story and as I’ve said before I’m a big movie ending guy.

I’m guessing that this wouldn’t have been nearly as enjoyable if I wasn’t a father.  The interplay between Ollie and his daughter is priceless and really did carry the movie for me.  So… if you’re a parent and enjoy some of Kevin Smith’s less vulgar stuff that you’ll probably enjoy this.  If you’re looking for a bunch of “snootchie bootchie” then you’re in for a big let down.

1990 – Dances With Wolves

I have to say that this was a pretty damn good movie.  This is Kevin Costner at his best.  The story is incredible and the scenery is even better.  Other than the fact that it’s over 3 hours long (and because of that a bit slow) I don’t have much bad to say about it.  That said, there are a couple of flicks in 1990 that are in fact “better than the best”.

Better Than The “Best” In 1990:

• Goodfellas – With the exception of the Godfather movies, this is THE mafia movie.  Absolutely shocking that it didn’t win the Oscar.
• The Hunt For Red October – based on a Tom Clancy novel this Russian submarine spy thriller is top notch.

Honorable Mentions From 1990:

• The Exorcist III – I absolutely LOVED this flick.  It’s a little bit horror and a little bit occult.  After the disaster that was Exorcist II this was sorely needed.  It ties back into the original perfectly.

1991 – The Silence Of The Lambs

I have absolutely no beef at all with this winning best picture.  Not only did it win for Best Picture, but Anthony Hopkins won Best Actor for his portrayal of Hannibal Lecter, Jodie Foster won Best Actress for playing agent Clarice Starling, Jonathan Demme won for Best Director and Ted Tally won for Best Writing.  With that kind of hardware it’s difficult to say that any other film was even worthy to be judged in 1991.

Honorable Mentions From 1991:

• Terminator 2: Judgment Day – really put Arnold back on the map when it comes to action movies.  The original was good… this was better.

1992 – Unforgiven

This was an incredible movie plain and simple.  It was 3 other Oscars including Best Director (Clint Eastwood), Best Supporting Actor (Gene Hackman) and Best Film Editing (Joel Cox).  Even if you don’t like westerns you NEED to see this film.  Eastwood is at his best in years and Hackman plays a near perfect villain.

Honorable Mentions From 1992:

• A Few Good Men – I’m big into lyrics when it comes to music and I’m big into speeches when it comes to movies.  Jack Nicholson’s “You can’t handle the truth” speech is incredible – and the story isn’t half bad either.
• Scent Of A Woman – See above and insert Al Pachino’s “Out of order, I’ll show you out of order”
• Reservoir Dogs – the film that put Quentin Tarantino on the map: enough said.
• Basic Instinct – if the only thing you know about this is that Sharon Stone shows her beaver then you’re selling this movie WAY short.  This is an incredible thriller with some of the best dialogue and suspense in years.  A must see.

1993 – Schindler’s List

Schindler’s List was a great movie no doubt about it.  I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a movie that shows the brutality of The Holocaust quite so well.  I can understand why it won the Oscar this year but for my money there was some better movies out there.  For me I just hate coming out of the movies feeling so down (IE,  2004′s Passion Of The Christ).

Better Than “The Best” In 1993:

• In The Line Of Fire – Clint Eastwood, John Malkovich & Rene Russo star in a film about an assassination attempt on the President.

Honorable Mentions From 1993:

• Jurassic Park – if nothing else you need to see this to experience Speilburg’s version of dinosaurs.  WOW.
• Rudy – THE feel good story of all time.
• Tombstone – if you’re looking for a good western with good action, great dialogue and a good story, this is the flick for you.

1994 – Forrest Gump

Another very good movie that would probably win the “Chewie Oscar” in most years.  This decade-spanning story does some incredible things with old news footage splicing Tom Hanks into historic events.  That said, there are a couple of movies that were a step above.

Better Than “The Best” In 1994:

• Pulp Fiction – WOW.  The movie that brought John Travolta & Bruce Willis back into the public eye.  It was nominated for all the major Oscars and should have won more than it did.
• The Shawshank Redemption – based on a short story by Stephen King the tagline for this movie says it all – “Fear can hold you prisoner.  Hope can set you free.“

Honorable Mentions From 1994:

• The Crow – based on a comic book by the same name, this tale of revenge was Brandon Lee’s final performance when he was killed on the set.  It spawned several sequels but none come close to the original.
• The Professional – also known as Léon this movie stars Jean Reno as a professional killer and Gary Oldman as a psychotic police New York cop.  It also features the film debut of Natalie Portman.
• Clerks – the film that started it all for filmmaker Kevin Smith.  A day in the life of two convenience store clerks has never been so entertaining.

1995 – Braveheart

This is one of my top 5 movies of all time.  This movie written by Randall Wallace and directed by Mel Gibson tells the story of 13th century Scotsman William Wallace.   Wallace leads an uprising against Edward the Longshanks who’s trying to take over Scotland for himself.  The scenery is beautiful, the story is incredible, the acting is suburb and the action is second to none.  If you haven’t yet you owe it to yourself to see this film.

Honorable Mentions From 1995:

• Casino – it’s a mob movie, it’s a Vegas movie.  It stars Robert De Niro, Sharon Stone, Joe Pesci & James Woods.  It’s awesome… go see it.
• Se7en – one of the most brutal and intense thrillers you’ll ever see.  You won’t want to watch it again but you’ll be glad you saw it.
• The Usual Suspects – Who is Keyser Soze?  Watch this and find out.  “The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.“

1996 – The English Patient

Quite simply not my cup of tea.  I watched about half of it before I gave up on it.  It won all kinds of Oscars and other awards so it MUST be good (yeah right) but like I said, just not for me.

Better Than “The Best” In 1996:

• Scream – an absolutely brilliant concept by director Wes Craven.  Definitely in the horror genre but it provides a brand new way of looking at it.  A very “smart” movie to be sure with a great story, superb acting and enough kills and gore to keep a true horror fan happy.

Honorable Mentions From 1996:

• Jerry Maguire – a fun love story with a sports backdrop.  Cuba Gooding Jr. is awesome, Renee Zelweger is great and Tom Cruise is actually watchable.
• The Rock – an outstanding action movie where an aging Sean Connery is at his best.  Nicolas Cage in one of his better roles and Ed Harris as a very convincing U.S. General who’s gone over the edge.  A Michael Bay flick through and through.

1997 – Titanic

First off… Before I went into the theater I knew how this one was going to end   All jokes aside this was THE teenie-bopper movie of the 90′s.  The fact that it grossed over a BILLION dollars proves that.  If Leonardo DiCaprio wasn’t in this film then we wouldn’t have had 12 and 13 year old girls seeing it over and over again.  If you like sappy, predictable love stories then this one is for you.

Better Than “The Best” In 1997:

• L.A. Confidential – absolutely incredible mystery/thriller with a great story and tons of action.  An outstanding cast including Kevin Spacey, Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce, James Cromwell, Kim Basinger (Oscar for Best Supporting Actress) & Danny DeVito.
• Boogie Nights – a retrospective look at the 70′s porn industry starring Mark Wahlberg, Julianne Moore & Burt Reynolds.  Even without the porn backdrop this is GREAT movie.  Paul Thomas Anderson tells a multi-year story in very convincing manner.

Honorable Mentions From 1997:

• Good Will Hunting – the movie that really put Ben Affleck and Matt Damon on the map.

1998 – Shakespeare In Love

This picture won SEVEN Oscars in 1998 including Best Picture, Best Actress (Gwyneth Paltrow) and Best Supporting Actress (Judy Dench).  Storyline wise it was pretty good.  A little slow at times and if it weren’t for the magnificent Saving Private Ryan I’d have no problem with this Oscar nod.

Better Than “The Best” In 1998:

• Saving Private Ryan – quite simply the most accurate & brutal portrayal of World War II that has ever been put to film.  An incredible cast led by Tom Hanks put forth a movie that should be required viewing for every American.

Honorable Mentions From 1998:

• The Truman Show – a movie with an incredible concept that was really before it’s time… the ultimate in reality TV.  Starring Jim Carrey as Truman and Ed Harris in one of my favorite of his performances.
• Rounders – the Matt Damon movie that is responsible for the poker boom.

1999 – American Beauty

Another Oscar nod that I’ve got no problem with.  Kevin Spacey, Annette Benning and the incredible Mena Suvari (yummy!) round out a cast that is perfectly cast.  A special nod to Wes Bentley for his portrayal of Ricky Fitts.  At once a down to earth and creepy character that you won’t soon forget.

Honorable Mentions From 1999:

• The Sixth Sense – the movie that put director M. Night Shyamalan on the map.  The twist in this one shaped movie storytelling for years to come.
• Fight Club – Edward Norton & Brad Pitt take an introspective look at life.
• The Blair Witch Project – An indy smash that was filmed as a documentary.  Incredibly visionary.
• The Matrix – special effects that we’re still seeing today started with this movie.  A story that will really make you think about your “reality” and some of the best action sequences ever put on film.
• Star Wars Episode I – The Phantom Menace – honorable mention only for the hype that it produced.  The first Star Wars movie in decades gave fans more of the legendary saga.

FINAL THOUGHTS: All in all, there were 10 Best Pictures in the 90′s.  I agreed with 4 out of 10 for a “got it right” 40% for the Academy.  Not too bad.