Triple Threat Steel Cage match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Daniel Bryan (c) defeated Big Show and Mark Henry
Talk about a great way to start the show.  I’m absolutely loving Daniel Bryan as a heel and putting him in this type of match against two big men where there’s “no escape” is brilliant.  This was a bit shorter that I would have liked but all 3 guys worked hard even though  it was reported that Henry was injured going into the match.  I’d thought this was going to be “match of the night” and while it didn’t quite live up to that it was a great opener.

The Bella Twins and The Divas of Doom (Beth Phoenix & Natalya) defeated Alicia Fox, Eve, Kelly Kelly and Tamina
I’ll admit that this I could have done without, but there was some good stuff here as well.  I don’t understand the folks who scream at the top of their lungs for the WWE to develop a Diva’s roster, but then complain when they put a match like this on the card.  Think about it… the only way you’re going to build this kind of division is to put these fine ass ladies on PPV.  Sure a one on one match between Phoenix and say Kharma is what we all want, but this type of match gives 8 spots on PPV as opposed to 2.

 John Cena fought Kane to a double count out
Yeah… this sucked balls.  This whole “embrace the hate” speed bump on the way to The Rock at WrestleMania is just silly.  At this point I don’t think there’s a chance in hell they’re going to turn John Cena heel so why bother with this?  And if you ARE going to do it, then why not end the feud here?  The way it stands there’s only 1 more PPV before Mania where you KNOW that Cena isn’t really going to be going 100% for fear of getting injured.  Are they really going to build Zack Ryder out of this?  Um… kay.  I absolutely HATE when we get count outs or disqualifications on PPV so this was an epic fail in my book.

Brodus Clay (with Cameron Lynn and Naomi) defeated Drew McIntyre
I feel bad for Drew McIntyre.  Dude is a good worker that’s stuck in this mid card hell.  Sure the WWE needs folks to feed the Brodus Clay machine but I could think of about 30 other guys that I’m throw at him first.  A lot of people were pissed that we got our Clay fix here rather than in the Rumble match itself.  Why?  He clearly wasn’t going to win the Rumble this year, which means someone’s going to have to put him out making him look weak at least for a moment.  This way, he can have another squash, get the PPV exposure and continue to the story.  Good booking.

Singles match for the WWE Championship with John Laurinaitis as special guest referee
CM Punk (c) defeated Dolph Ziggler
I’ll be honest.  I thought this was going to suck.  I wasn’t sure how they were going to work the Laurinaitis angle in here and I was pretty sure that they were going to put the strap on Ziggler.  While I love the #HEEL, I think it’s a bit too soon and it would been a mistake.  Luckily I was wrong and the WWE got this one right.  The in-ring action was exactly what I’d hoped for and Ziggler once again cemented himself as one of the best bumpers in the business.  With Johnny Ace taking himself out of the ring Punk & Ziggles were able to put on a good match without too many shenanigans (until the end at least).  Hearing Punk say, “I beat him 3 times” was just awesome and I have to say that I was impressed with the way the match ended.  Match of the night.

The Royal Rumble
This was the best Rumble match I can remember in the last few years.  There were quite a few guys that had a legit shot of winning. It was the first time in history that everyone was eligible (even folks who’s wrestled earlier in the evening) so there was a real sense of anticipation as the seconds clicked down to see who was next.  While we didn’t have the super returns that we’ve had in the past (Diesel & Booker T last year, Cena, HHH, Taker in previous years) there were some surprise entrants that made me mark out.  Ricardo Rodriguez coming out to ADR’s gimmick was outstanding.  Seeing the first ever Rumble winner Hacksaw Jim Duggan mix it up was awesome and I just about popped my top when Kharma made her return.

There’s a ton of people out there that are pissed Sheamus won the Rumble.  Why?  He’s a stud.  Are you pissed that Chris Jericho didn’t win?  He doesn’t need it.  He’s gonna go into a program with Punk (I still think he should go after Taker) and that frees up Sheamus to have the battle that was bumped from last year’s Mania: Bryan vs. Sheamus.  Or better yet, how about a 4-way match that would unify the titles?  How epic would Sheamus vs. Jericho vs. Punk vs. Bryan be???

The Road To The Beeramid

While the Rumble is the first stop on the Road To WrestleMania, it’s also the first stop on the Road To The Beeramid.  From now until the big day, Pip and I will be putting the finishing touches on the WrestleMania 28 Drinking Game.  Marko watched the show with me this year but wasn’t drinking and my brother from another mother Pip wasn’t in town.  That said, I got into pre-Beeramid form with a first… The Rumblemid!

The First Ever Rumblemid

Carlito & Primo vs. John Morrison & The Miz – no fucking idea why this wasn’t shown.  I’m not a huge fan of tag team wrestling but these guys are pretty solid in the ring and it would have been nice to see more of the roster on the 25th WrestleMania show.  This is especially true when we got what we did (keep reading).

Money In The Bank – good opener but I don’t think it should have been the opener.  This match included CM Punk, Mark Henry,  MVP, Finlay, Shelton Benjamin, Kofi Kingston, Christian Cage and Kane.  REALLY sloppy but I suppose I can forgive it cause there’s just so much going on.  Pretty sure Shelton took a header and no one caught him.  Ouch.

Kid Rock Performance – OK…  I love his music but what… the… fuck!  There’s absolutely NO NEED for him to sing 4 songs.  This is time that was wasted and should have been spent elsewhere on the show.

Diva Battle Royal – Um… OK.  Have a dude win Miss WrestleMania???  As Pip said, that’s the kind of thing that you should do like the 5th or 6th time you have this battle royal… not the first and CERTAINLY not on this show.  The announcers didn’t even know who was in the ring.  Pathetic.  These weren’t announced on the show so in case you’re interested here’s the divas that were included:  Santina Marella, Eve Torres, Jillian, Katie Lea, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Melina, Maria, Natalya, Mickie James, Tiffany, Rosa Mendez, Joy Giovanni, Molly Holly, Jackie Gayda, Sunny, Torrie Wilson and Victoria.

Chris Jerico vs. Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka & Ricky Steamboat (with Ric Flair) – There’s dust that’s younger than Snuka and his one man-boob sticking out was just terrible.  I can’t remember Piper EVER doing a dropkick and his one-legged variation reminded me why.  Steamboat was awesome… simply amazing.  We made a comment that he could get in there today and win the IC title.  It was so great to see a “legend” that still has it.  Thank you Ricky Steamboat!  The Wrestler was a great movie but the whole Rourke tie-in was gay on the PPV.  We totally saw it coming and his doing with 1 punch what the other guys couldn’t do three on one?  Come on.  WWE fans deserve better than this.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy – I actually put the boys to bed during this and heard that I didn’t miss much.  The final twist of fate was pretty cool through from what I saw on the replay.

JBL/Rey Misterio - huh???  JBL’s been talking for weeks about how he’s going to do something “special” at WrestleMania.  So he goes out, proceeds to lose the Intercontinental title in 21 seconds and then quit?  Whatever.  JBL deserves better than this.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels – WOW!!!  Fucking wow.  This right here made it worth the $55 that I spent on the show.  Absolutely unbelievable.  This match just got itself a spot in my “Top 10 WrestleMania matches” list.  SO glad that they kept the streak intact.  In fact I’ll be super fucking bitter if they ever end it.  Mean Mark Calloway deserves to retire with it.

Edge vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena – I thought for sure that Edge or Show was going to take it.  I was pleasantly surprised that Cena took it down.  I really like him as champ rather than playing the role of chasing the title.

HHH vs. Randy Orton – OK… what the hell happened here?  They were running WAY late on the show and someone must have told them to go home right then.  Weak ending to a pretty poor match and it was even worse that this was the main event of the show.  I can only assume (based on this debacle) that this feud isn’t over.

GENERAL THOUGHTS:

This felt like any other show.  Aside from the “legends” match and the piss poor HOF stuff there was nothing special about this “25th anniversary edition.  How can you NOT have Hogan, Warrior, Hart, Savage, etc. on this show?  I know that there’s a TON of bad blood there but come on!

How could we have this show without the McMahons?  This just seemed pretty poorly thought out.  I’d definitely give the writing crew a bad grade here.

Anyone watch the HOF on USA Saturday night?  20 minutes of Steamboat, 5 minutes of “the others” and the rest of the show for Austin.  Stone Cold is OBVIOUSLY the biggest player there but you’ve just GOT to include some more people in your coverage.

And why… in the hell… was Koko inducted?  If you watch the montage they showed it goes like this:

Koko beating a jobber
Koko beating a jobber
Koko as part of a 3 man tag match
Koko beating a jobber
Oh, Koko lost that match
Koko beating a jobber
Koko beating a jobber

What the hell… I’d just like to announce right here that I’ll be inducted next year as the WWE’s number 1 fan.  Apparently all it takes is longevity.

Ugh…

* chewie runs away and waits for the DVD to come out which he KNOWS he’ll have to buy *