For those of you that are regular readers of the blog here and AREN’T wrestling fans don’t worry… this is the last wrestling related post for a while.

With that being said, WrestleMania 28 is officially in the books and it’s time for a recap and a look back at the show that was.  As per usual we built our yearly Beeramid which was epic.

First off, I’ll say this was a FAR superior show compared to the last couple of years.  I always enjoy WrestleMania weekend cause we turn it into an event, but I have to say the show itself was a BIG part of my enjoyment this year.  That’s something I’ve not been able to say over the last couple of years.

• Sheamus beat Daniel Bryan for the World Title
  If you blinked, you missed it.  Sheamus hit Bryan with his finisher as soon as he turned around from giving AJ a kiss and just like that it was over.  The WWE has gotten a TON of shit for this one but I have to say this match got one of the loudest pops from us.  While you can’t really call this a “match” and I would have enjoyed watching Sheamus and Bryan go at it, this was a pretty cool way to get the show started.  And when you think about it this is a really nice way to play into the Daniel Bryan story line.
• Kane beat Randy Orton
  I can only imagine how pissed Randy and Kane were when they found out they were going on second.  Guess that’s what happens when you have no time to build a story line and when Orton is hurt all the time.  This was actually a really good wrestling match, but as I watched it I couldn’t help but think we were watching an episode of RAW.  Kane gets the clean win when he choke slams Orton off the top rope.  Good finish and good solid match.
• Big Show beat Cody Rhodes for the Intercontinental Title
  With all the talk of how Big Show chokes at Mania, this was a no brainer for me (though apparently I was in the minority).  Cody Rhodes is clearly an up and comer and quite frankly I think he needed to lose the title so he could move forward in his career.  This was a relatively short match but one that I thought was pretty well done.  Big Show is nearing the end of his career and I for one was happy to see him get a victory on the grandest stage of them all.  He was visibly emotional at the end  which makes me think he’s nearing the end of the road.  Decent match.
• Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos defeated Beth Phoenix and Eve
  Um… yeah.  This match happened.  Was there any doubt that Kelly & Maria were going to win this?  If you doubted it, you should have read this beforehand.  Celebrities don’t lose at WrestleMania… period.  To be fair though, Maria had some broken ribs from her stint on Dancing With The Stars and didn’t totally embarrass herself.  Thankfully this was a short one.  Oh yeah… and Even is smoking hot.  Yum.
• The Undertaker defeated HHH in Hell In A Cell
  I still don’t think Shawn Michaels should have been in this match, but I have to say that all 3 guys brought it and did a HELL of a job.  If you want an example of old school wrestling storytelling you don’t have to go any further than this match.  While Taker, HHH and Shawn are all clearly well beyond their prime these guys far exceeded my expectations and put on an outstanding match.  As big a Taker fan as I am, I had to say that before the match I was VERY worried that the streak would end, but I’m happy to say that he managed to run it to 20-0.  Now I’m just hoping that he’ll retire and not even think about turning back.  If that’s the case I’d like to thank Undertaker for an outstanding career.  Match of the night in my opinion.
• Team Johnny beat Team Teddy
  Honestly I couldn’t have cared less about this match.  To me this was just a way to get a bunch of guys onto the WrestleMania card.  And let’s face it, NO ONE in the locker room wanted to follow HHH/Taker so the placement on the card here makes perfect sense.  It wasn’t nearly the spot fest that I thought it would be and as I sit here just 5 days removed from the event I really can’t pick out anything memorable.  That said, I can’t pick out anything overly terrible either so for a 12 man match this is about as good as we could have expected.
• CM Punk retained his WWE Championhip by making Chris Jericho tap
  Heading into the match there were quite a few folks (myself included) that were hoping this would be the next coming of Savage/Steamboat from WrestleMania III.  And while it didn’t quite live up to that, it was a DAMN good match.  Lots of back and forth action with Jericho doing the clean tap job in the middle of the ring.  With the “your momma’s a whore” build prior to the event the outcome was pretty set in stone, but these guys told a great story and had a superb match.  If I wasn’t such a Taker fan this would have been the match of the night for me.
• The Rock beat John Cena
  I just don’t get it.  The booking here makes absolutely no sense to me.  I stated before where I thought they were going but based on this match and the outcome I’m clearly wrong.  I just don’t see the value of Rock winning here.  The next night on RAW, he did what we all knew he’d do and essentially said goodbye for the foreseeable future.  And for all those John Cena haters out there, PLEASE take a look at this match and watch how he CARRIED The Rock through the whole thing.  Pay special attention to when Rock is in Cena’s submission finisher and damn near falls asleep.  Dear Rock… it’s not a sleeper.  You should be in agony when your leg is touching your head.  I can only hope that there’s some sort of longer term plans here.  The match itself was pretty decent (aside from a couple of examples) but with a year long build which I think was a HUGE mistake this one was bound to fall flat.

So there you have it.  As I said before, overall it was a VERY entertaining show and far superior to the last few year’s offerings.

For those keeping track at home, the final win/losses for the night were:

• Chewie: 5/8
• Pip: 4/8
• Marko: 4/8

Speaking of the WrestleMania 28 Drinking Game.  Here are the final tallies on how often we drank for each rule.  I’m sure we missed a few here and there, but this is the gist.

1 Time

• If a Diva and wrestler make out
• Every time it’s mentioned that Miami is the Rock’s home town
• If Michaels super kicks someone
• Submission victory
• (Uunannounced) legend appearance or surprise return

3 Times

• Small package attempt
• Ref bump

4 Times

• Foreign object

5 Times

• Bloody wrestler
• Reference to the sponsored song
• Footage of a previous WrestleMania
• Something is “trending worldwide”

10 Times

• Missed match outcome

And the CLEAR winner… with a whopping 27 occurrences…

• A finishing move

Once again, it was an absolutely tremendous event and we’re already looking forward to next year.  Got a rule you think we should include in next year’s game?  Post a comment and we’ll get it added!

Triple Threat Steel Cage match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Daniel Bryan (c) defeated Big Show and Mark Henry
Talk about a great way to start the show.  I’m absolutely loving Daniel Bryan as a heel and putting him in this type of match against two big men where there’s “no escape” is brilliant.  This was a bit shorter that I would have liked but all 3 guys worked hard even though  it was reported that Henry was injured going into the match.  I’d thought this was going to be “match of the night” and while it didn’t quite live up to that it was a great opener.

The Bella Twins and The Divas of Doom (Beth Phoenix & Natalya) defeated Alicia Fox, Eve, Kelly Kelly and Tamina
I’ll admit that this I could have done without, but there was some good stuff here as well.  I don’t understand the folks who scream at the top of their lungs for the WWE to develop a Diva’s roster, but then complain when they put a match like this on the card.  Think about it… the only way you’re going to build this kind of division is to put these fine ass ladies on PPV.  Sure a one on one match between Phoenix and say Kharma is what we all want, but this type of match gives 8 spots on PPV as opposed to 2.

 John Cena fought Kane to a double count out
Yeah… this sucked balls.  This whole “embrace the hate” speed bump on the way to The Rock at WrestleMania is just silly.  At this point I don’t think there’s a chance in hell they’re going to turn John Cena heel so why bother with this?  And if you ARE going to do it, then why not end the feud here?  The way it stands there’s only 1 more PPV before Mania where you KNOW that Cena isn’t really going to be going 100% for fear of getting injured.  Are they really going to build Zack Ryder out of this?  Um… kay.  I absolutely HATE when we get count outs or disqualifications on PPV so this was an epic fail in my book.

Brodus Clay (with Cameron Lynn and Naomi) defeated Drew McIntyre
I feel bad for Drew McIntyre.  Dude is a good worker that’s stuck in this mid card hell.  Sure the WWE needs folks to feed the Brodus Clay machine but I could think of about 30 other guys that I’m throw at him first.  A lot of people were pissed that we got our Clay fix here rather than in the Rumble match itself.  Why?  He clearly wasn’t going to win the Rumble this year, which means someone’s going to have to put him out making him look weak at least for a moment.  This way, he can have another squash, get the PPV exposure and continue to the story.  Good booking.

Singles match for the WWE Championship with John Laurinaitis as special guest referee
CM Punk (c) defeated Dolph Ziggler
I’ll be honest.  I thought this was going to suck.  I wasn’t sure how they were going to work the Laurinaitis angle in here and I was pretty sure that they were going to put the strap on Ziggler.  While I love the #HEEL, I think it’s a bit too soon and it would been a mistake.  Luckily I was wrong and the WWE got this one right.  The in-ring action was exactly what I’d hoped for and Ziggler once again cemented himself as one of the best bumpers in the business.  With Johnny Ace taking himself out of the ring Punk & Ziggles were able to put on a good match without too many shenanigans (until the end at least).  Hearing Punk say, “I beat him 3 times” was just awesome and I have to say that I was impressed with the way the match ended.  Match of the night.

The Royal Rumble
This was the best Rumble match I can remember in the last few years.  There were quite a few guys that had a legit shot of winning. It was the first time in history that everyone was eligible (even folks who’s wrestled earlier in the evening) so there was a real sense of anticipation as the seconds clicked down to see who was next.  While we didn’t have the super returns that we’ve had in the past (Diesel & Booker T last year, Cena, HHH, Taker in previous years) there were some surprise entrants that made me mark out.  Ricardo Rodriguez coming out to ADR’s gimmick was outstanding.  Seeing the first ever Rumble winner Hacksaw Jim Duggan mix it up was awesome and I just about popped my top when Kharma made her return.

There’s a ton of people out there that are pissed Sheamus won the Rumble.  Why?  He’s a stud.  Are you pissed that Chris Jericho didn’t win?  He doesn’t need it.  He’s gonna go into a program with Punk (I still think he should go after Taker) and that frees up Sheamus to have the battle that was bumped from last year’s Mania: Bryan vs. Sheamus.  Or better yet, how about a 4-way match that would unify the titles?  How epic would Sheamus vs. Jericho vs. Punk vs. Bryan be???

The Road To The Beeramid

While the Rumble is the first stop on the Road To WrestleMania, it’s also the first stop on the Road To The Beeramid.  From now until the big day, Pip and I will be putting the finishing touches on the WrestleMania 28 Drinking Game.  Marko watched the show with me this year but wasn’t drinking and my brother from another mother Pip wasn’t in town.  That said, I got into pre-Beeramid form with a first… The Rumblemid!

The First Ever Rumblemid

Event:

We’re greeted with Boyz II Men doing their version of America The Beautiful.  We then get the outstanding “Old School” promo followed by the “Showcase of the Immortals”.  This stuff absolutely gives me the chills.  I’m a dork and I don’t care who knows it.  Wow… awesome.  Announcing team of Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler – is this where JR had his stroke?

WWF Hardcore Championship
Hardcore Holly defeated Billy Gunn (c) and Al Snow
This is an interesting little opener with Al Snow is his first Mania, Bob Holly and Bad Ass Billy Gunn.  The crowd pops huge for the “Oh you didn’t know” line from Billy’s intro.  This is pretty typical stuff for a triple threat hardcore match with a TON of action.  The problem with these types of matches is that there’s TOO much going on to really follow it all.  All 3 guys are working hard here and making it a good match.  A hockey stick comes out and the “Let’s go Flyers” chant starts from the Philly crowd.  Lots of weapons here including a broom handle, garbage can and chairs.  Chair shots and guys going through tables setting the tone nicely for the rest of the night.  End comes when Billy hits his finisher (The FamAsser) on Snow and goes for the cover.  Holly then hits Billy with a chair and covers Al for the win.  Solid opener that is definitely worth watching.

WWF Tag Team Championship
Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett (c) (with Debra) defeated Test and D’Lo Brown (with Ivory)
D’Lo and Test won a battle royal earlier in the evening on Heat which got them into this match.  Announcers keep asking if D’Lo and Test will be able to keep it together and work well enough as a team to grab the straps.  Deborah looks absolutely SMOKING.  This is the 10th WrestleMania for Owen (RIP sir) which is just crazy.  Power moves in the early going from Test but after a while we get Owen going for the Sharpshooter and D’Lo breaks it up to save the match.  JJ and Owen working very well together and we’re reminded once again that D’Lo and Test aren’t a tag team and can they keep it together.  D’Lo goes for his finisher on Jarrett.  Owen follows that up with a missile dropkick and Jarrett wraps up D’Lo for the win to retain the titles.  Jackie and Teri come out (as part of PMS?) and begin to mess with Deborah.  I’m biased against tag team wrestling cause I think most of it sucks, but I’d say you can pass on this one.

Brawl for All Match
Butterbean defeated Bart Gunn
Christ… I forgot all about this one and for good reason.  They go the boxing route here and do a bunch of introductions for guest referees.  The best part of this match is a guy in the crowd with a sign that says, “I have to poop”.  Hilarious.  So we’ve got a guest referee and 3 refs outside of the ring.  The intros take WAY longer than the “match” itself.  Butterbean’s down to the ring first.  Want to know what happened to this dude?  Check it out here.  One word… fat.  Not much of a match to recap here.  Butterbean rocks Gunn in the first 10 seconds of the bout and Bart manages to get to his feet at the 9 count.  After the break, Butterbean hits a MASSIVE shot and knocks Gunnout cold.  So much for that match.  I’m guessing it wasn’t supposed to go down quite like that (with the WWF guy getting smoked).  The California Chicken (WTF) gets in the ring with Vinnie Pazienza and begins to taunt him.  Vinnie hits him with an uppercut.  Super gay.

Referee Match
Mankind defeated The Big Show by disqualification
We’re shown some footage of Big Show (here still called Paul White) and Mankind getting into it.  Stipulation here is the winner of this match gets to be the special guest referee in the Rock/Austin main even later in the show.  Show is in the corner of Vince’s corporation.  Big Show in charge early here with his power moves.  Mankind manages to fight back and get Show out of the ring.  As Big Show makes his way back in Mankind slaps on Mr. Socko for the first time in the match.  Big Show gets out of it (twice) and Mick continues to go back to it.  Big Show down to one knee and they do the “drop the arm” spot.  Arm goes down once but Big Show is back up and hits a BIG back slam on Foley.  God DAMN that would hurt.  Show grabs a chair and slams Foley with it.  He then sets up 2 chairs in the middle of the ring and choke slams Mankind through them.  Big Show is DQ’d and Foley will be the special ref for the main event.  McMahon is out and all kinds of pissed off.  He berates Show for losing.  Show picks up Vince for a choke slam but thinks better of it and puts him back down.  Vince continues to yell at and slaps Show (big mistake).  Show knocks him out with one punch.  Foley is taken out on a stretcher.  Will he be back for the main event?  Not looking like it at this point…

WWF Intercontinental Championship
Road Dogg Jesse James (c) defeated Ken Shamrock, Goldust (with The Blue Meanie and Ryan Shamrock) and Val Venis
Road Dogg out and does his “Outlaws” intro which is always enjoyable.  Val in and starts in on his “Hello ladies…” shtick full of sexual innuendo.  This is the “Attitude Era” at its finest.  I completely had forgotten about Ryan Shamrock but damn was it good to see her here.  So hot.  Road Dogg and Shamrock start out in a weird type of match where 2 guys are in the ring at either time and can tag any other guy in.  Val hits a bulldog off the top rope on Goldust and follows that up with a Perfectplex for a close call.  Shamrock and Road Dogg in and do a nice double DDT spot on Goldust and Val.  Road Dogg in charge taking out all three competitors.  Val manages to hit a suplex off the top to turn the tide.  Shamrock gets an ankle lock on Venis.  A while later, Shamrock runs toward Venis and they go over the top rope.  Shamrock is counted out.  Stupid.  Shamrock “snaps” and it’s belly to belly suplex time for Goldust and Road Dogg.  Ryan Shamrock trips Goldust for some outside interference.  Goldust goes for a slam on Road Dogg and somehow Dogg ends up on top of Goldust for the pin.  WTF?  Ending out of nowhere.  If it sounds like the recap is a little disjointed it’s cause the match was as well.  That said, it was entertaining.

Kane defeated Triple H by disqualification
Kane out and is attacked by the San Diego Chicken… yeah, that Chicken.  Lo and behold it’s Pete Rose continuing his “feud” with Kane for some reason.  For his efforts Pete gets himself another Tombstone.  Retarded.  After that, this is a pretty typical Kane match which means it’s slow and methodical.  He’s wearing his mask at this point and you can totally hear him breathing through it.  That must be BRUTAL on him.  Kane in charge big time here and we spill outside the ring for a while.  Later, Kane goes up top and HHH pulls him off and begins to mount some offense.  Chyna’s down to ringside (story line wise she’s with Kane at this point) and puts the ring steps into the ring.  Drop toe hold by HHH onto the stairs.  They fight back outside the ring and HHH is back dropped on the mat.  Back in and Kane delivers a choke slam.  Chyna is up on the apron now with a chair asking to hit HHH.  Naturally, she smacks Kane and turns on him.  HHH hits Kane with the chair and then hits a Pedigree on the chair.  Chyna is back with DX.  Looking back on it now it was painfully obvious that Chyna was going to turn on Kane but I remember watching this show and actually being surprised by that turn.

We go backstage with Kevin Kelly and he’s talking to Vince about who’s going to be the special referee with Mick in the hospital.  Vince says that HE is going to be the ref.

WWF Women’s Championship
Sable (c) defeated Tori
This is during Sable’s Playboy run so you pretty much know there’s no way she’s going to lose.  Tori loooks like she’s in the cast of Cats which is to say absolutely ridiculous.  Sable is playing the”bitch” here which to give her credit she does quite well.  She busts out a great heel quote here, “This is  for the girls that want to be me and the guys that come to see me”.  At one point Sable goes for a cross body from the ring to the outside which is really weak.  The crowd is totally behind Tori here which talks to how well Sable is playing the heel.  Toward the end, we get a bridge/pin combo attempt which is nice but out of place.  Why are they showing “wrestling” in this match?  I don’t get it.  We get a ref bump followed by a Sable Bomb with they completely botch.  According to the announcers Tori “countered it” and then hit Sable in midsection.  Um… OK.  Nicole Bass in and press slams Tori.   Sable follows that up with a Sable Bomb to retain her title.  Fucking terrible.

WWF European Championship
Shane McMahon (c) (with Test) defeated X-Pac
Before the match we get a DX promo in back where X-Pac drops the classic line,  “Shane, get ready for some pain.”  Who writes this shit?  I can’t for the life of me remember how Shane got the Euro title.  No recap available on the show.  Brisco/Patterson attack X-Pac before match only to be thwarted and X-Pac makes his way to the ring to wait for the champ.  Once the match starts, Shane’s running from X-Pac.  Shortly into the match, X-Pac has Shane set up for the Bronco Buster but Test rescues him and pulls him out of the ring.  Shane gains control of the match and goes for the Corporate Elbow but misses.  He hits a low blow and then goes to work on X-Pac with a belt.   Action dumps to the outside and X-Pac takes out the Mean Street Posse who happens to be sitting in the first row.  Test with another cheap shot turns the tide of the match again and Shane’s back in control.  X-Pac hits a superplex but Test pulls Shane out.  X-Pac grabs the strap and whips the hell out of Shane.  X-Pac goes for another Bronco Buster and hits it this time.  Test back in and smacks X-Pac in the face with the belt.  X-Pac kicks out.  Shane now goes for a Buster of his own but X-Pac moves out of the way.  He proceeds to hit Test with a Buster and DX makes their way to the ring.  HHH hits a Pedigree on X-Pac?   Huh?  Swerve ending and Shane wins to retain the title.  So HHH and Chyna are now with the Corporation?  New Age Outlaws come out and HHH and Chyna beat them down as well.  The lights in the arena go dark and here’s Kane chasing HHH and Chyna out.  Bad booking.  Shane’s a good worker for not being a wrestler but the ending of this one is just terrible.

Hell In A Cell
The Undertaker (with Paul Bearer) defeated The Big Boss Man
After his standard “longer than humanly possible” entrance, Taker in charge early.  Boss Man manages to hit a knee lift and gets a pin attempt.  Lots of back and forth with both guys getting run into the cage.  At one point, Bosss Man handcuffs Taker to the cage and goes to work on him with the nightstick.  Undertaker falls down and the cuffs rip apart (terrible prop).  Taker is busted open and has a decent amount of blood flowing.  Undertaker in control now and grabs a chair from under the ring.  A question… why are there always chairs under the ring?  He sends Boss Man face first into the cage and he’s busted open.  Taker goes “old school” and Boss Man crotches him on the top rope.  Well done Boss Man.  I’ve never understood why more people don’t do that when Taker walks the ropes.  Taker’s my all time favorite but that move always boggled my mind.  After that we get a punch fest in the middle of the ring until Taker hits a Tombstone and gets the win.  After the match, Gangrel, Edge and Christian come down to the top of the cage from the rafters.  They string a noose through the cage and proceed to lift the cell while Boss Man gets hung from the cell.  Michael Cole keeps saying “Is it symbolic?”  Um… no it’s a dude getting hung.  Probably the worst Hell In A Cell match I’ve seen.

WWF Championship
Steve Austin defeated The Rock (c)
Vince walks out and based on events earlier in the show he’s going to be the ref for this contest.  Shawn Michaels makes his way to ringside (he’s the commissioner at this point I gather… totally forgot about that) and starts into his shtick.  “Vin man… we can’t have a WrestleMania without HBK”.  There are a couple of “WWF” references muted out on my copy which is getting a tad bit old honestly.  HBK says that according to the rule book HE is the only one that can appoint a referee.  He then says that the Corporation is barred from ringside for this match.  He follows that up by telling Vince to hit the bricks.  Rock is introduced first and as always it pisses me off when the champ doesn’t get the respect of coming out last.  The glass breaks and here comes Austin to a HUGE pop.  They get into it right away and are outside the ring. Rock in charge early until Austin turns the table and throws him back out of the ring.  They go into the crowd for quite some time as it’s a no DQ  match. Why do we have a ref out there?  It’s not a falls count anywhere match so all they’re really doing is hanging out.  At one point Austin has Rock on a table and hits an elbow. Pretty sure the table was supposed to break but didn’t.  So….Austin hits him again to get the table spot in. Back in the ring and Rock hits a Rock Bottom out of nowhere.  Austin kicks out.  Rock brings a chair in and Austin fucking nails the ref when Rock pulls him in front.  Rock takes over and beats on Austin’s knee.  Chair shot to the head and Austin makes a kick out at 2.  Replacement ref in to the ring.  Austin fights back but Rock still in charge big time.  Rock puts the Rock Bottom on the ref for absolutely no reason.  Austin hits the Stunner and naturally there’s no ref to make the count (oh… that’s the reason for the Rock Bottom).  Another ref in and Rock kicks out.  McMahon out to taunt Austin.  Vince takes out this ref and Vince and Rock beats the hell out of Austin.  Mankind returns from the hospital and now is the ref.  Rock Bottom and Rock goes for Peoples Elbow.  Misses.  He goes for another Rock Bottom and misses.  Stunner, 3 count and new champion!  Vince is absolutely beside himself.  There’s a TON going on in this match both in the ring and storyline wise.  Looking back it’s not quite as awesome as I remember but still a very entertaining main event.  Beers for Austin which I never get sick of seeing.  Absolutely love it.  Earl Hebner in drinking with Austin which is a bit out of place but I’ll say, “Oh hell yeah.”  Vince yells that it’s his belt and that Austin doesn’t deserve it.  Punch, Stunner and a beer bath for Vince.  More beers for Steve.  The Rattlesnake poses with a foot on Vince’s chest to end the show.

General Thoughts

• On Heat before the show there were 2 dark matches – Jacqueline beat Ivory and D’Lo and Test won a 21 man battle royal.  This lead to their pairing in the second match on the card.
• Jim Ross comes out to announce the main event only and it’s clear that he’s in bad shape.  This must have been just after his stroke.  Gotta give it to the man for being such a professional to continue to do his job.  He’s the best ever in my book.
• Has anyone ever seen the WWF’s rule book?
• Is putting the ring steps INTO the ring ever a good idea for anyone involved?

• Edge retained the World Title over Alberto Del Rio
  I thought for SURE that Del Rio was going to walk out of Mania with the strap.  Not sure where the WWE is going to go with his character at this point but it’s clear he’s going to continue to feud with Edge based on the fact that Edge beat the hell out of his car post match.  I’m guessing we’ll get some sort of Edge/Christian/Del Rio feud in the upcoming weeks here.  This was a solid opener and I really had high hopes for the show after this one.  I was kind of disappointed that they kept telling us that Edge was 0-3 when defending the title at Mania.  Kind of gave away the outcome in my opinion.
• Cody Rhodes beat Rey Mysterio
  I can’t say I’m shocked that Cody got the win here.  I think he actually needed this match (career wise) way more than Rey does and I’m happy to see Rey putting over a younger competitor.  That said, this wasn’t Rey’s finest match.  I’m guessing that we’re going to see Rey against that new high flier that they’ve been introducing.  So so match and DEFINITELY not the worst on the card.
• Kane, Big Show, Santino & Kofi beat The Corre
  Who cares?!?!?  This was thankfully rather short and actually wasn’t too bad to watch.  I’m not quite sure why the Corre wouldn’t get the win here though… why not build those guys?  I mean they DO have 3 title belts between the four guys right?
• Randy Orton beat CM Punk
  Another WTF match for me.  If you’re going to go through WEEKS of building CM Punk as a bad ass and a few MORE weeks of having Orton dismantle his team then why WOULDN’T Punk win this match?  Makes no sense from a storyline perspective.  Punk at this point is buried.  Stupid booking by the WWE in my opinion.  That said it was a good match with Orton playing the “my knee won’t hold me” card and a very nice finish with a RKO out of nowhere.  Quite frankly either this or Edge/Del Rio is match of the night.
• Michael Cole beat Lawler by DQ
  This was just piss poor.  Lawler actually got the win and then the RAW GM (why do we still have THIS storyline going on) comes on and tells us that Austin interfered so Cole gets the win.  This was so bad it made Vince/Bret from WrestleMania 26 look like a masterpiece.  This makes NO sense on so many levels.  Complete waste of a match.
• The Undertaker made HHH tap
  This was decent but it was missing something…. and that something was HHH’s career.  For a No Holds Barred match this was pretty uneventful.  You can tell that both guys were really working hard but they’re just nearing the end of the road.  I’m guessing we’ll see a rematch of this one at next year’s Mania with Taker going for 20-0 against HHH’s career.  Not sure why in the hell Taker was carted out after the match.  He must be setting up his 6 month hiatus that he typically takes after WrestleMania. Decent match but not nearly what Shawn/Taker was the last couple of years.
  

At this point in the night we realized that there was something wrong timing-wise with the show.  We had about an hour remaining with 3 advertised matches.  Houston… we have a problem.  As it turns out, Sheamus/Daniel Bryan for the US Title was a dark match.  That sucks cause I’m guessing that would have been a hell of a lot better than some of the crap we got.

• Snooki, Trish, Morrison beat Ziggler & LayCool
  Lame, lame, lame, lame, lame.  I knew for a FACT that Snooki wasn’t going to lose but come on folks… you’ve got to give us SOMETHING better than this.
• Miz retained the WWE title over John Cena
  I think we all saw this coming a mile away.  Maybe not the way they got there but the end result.  Cena/Miz go to a double count out and out comes Rock (saying “Fuck THAT shit…” which is really funny).  Rock gets on the mic, restarts the match, gives Cena a Rock Bottom and Miz retains.  We’re clearly headed toward a Cena/Rock program which doesn’t NEED the title involved.  This was mildly entertaining though I was just sort of waiting for things to happen.

I’m not sure if I’m just a jaded wrestling fan or what, but I’ve been pretty disappointed with the last couple of year’s offerings.  This is the biggest show of the year and I’m just always hoping for a HUGE show from the WWE.  Maybe I’m just building things way up in my mind to the point where I can’t be satisfied.  That said… I can’t WAIT for April 1st, 2012… WrestleMania 28 in Miami!

What did you think of the show last night?

Event:

We’re still in the WWF days… I keep thinking we’re flipping over to WWE pretty soon.  Good intro here that’s just starting to talk about the “Attitude Era”.  Goes into the lineage of the WWF title, introduces Austin, DX, Mike Tyson, etc.  We get the announcing duo of Jerry “The King” Lawler and Michael Cole on the mic and we go right into the first match of the night with no anthem, America The Beautiful, etc.

15 – Team Battle Royal
L.O.D. 2000 (Hawk and Animal) (with Sunny) won by last eliminating The New Midnight Express (Bombastic Bob and Bodacious Bart) (with Jim Cornette)
The last team is a “mystery team” and it’s the returning L.O.D. accompanied by Sunny.  That right there makes it all worth it… damn is she hot.  They’ve got a new (silly) look which includes helmets.  Um… OK.  This is a no DQ battle royal where when one member of a team is thrown out the partner needs to go as well.  A good way for WWF to get quite a few guys on the WrestleMania card.  This is a pretty typical match with L.O.D. and the Midnight Express (Bob Holly and Bart Gunn) being the last two teams.  L.O.D. gets the win in a decent if predictable opener.  Oh yeah, did I mention that Sunny is hot?

WWF Light Heavyweight Championship
Taka Michinoku (c) defeated Aguila
Quick match for these guys.  I’m not a huge fan of this type of wrestling but I can totally appreciate how talented these guys are.  Nice looking moonsault to the outside by Aguila.  Good lord would that be difficult to do and not kill yourself.  This is definitely not a typical match but very entertaining.  I wonder if it was so short cause that’s the way it was booked or so the guys don’t kill one another by going longer?  Can’t blame the talent for getting gassed going at this pace.  Taka hits his finisher to retain after a quick yet completely entertaining match.

WWF European Championship
Triple H (c) (with Chyna) defeated Owen Hart
The DX band is in the house playing intro music all night.  Seems silly to me, but at least they get to play it a couple of times.  Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter is handcuffed to Chyna during this match to prevent any shenanigans.  Own starts off with an injured ankle but is out quick and gets the upper hand.  He then lowers his head too early for a backdrop and Hunter takes over.  Chyna is trying to get involved but Slaughter is keeping her at bay.  HHH works over Owen for a couple of minutes and then turns to the injured ankle.  Owen gets cut on the nose (probably hardway) and then makes a nice comeback to get a series of close falls for the title.  This section of the match is tremendous with some great back and forth action.  Nice spot where Owen gets into a corner and falls down and headbutts HHH in the balls.  Owen gets the Sharpshooter on HHH but Chyna helps HHH to the ropes (good job Slaughter).  Chyna then proceeds to throw salt in Slaughter’s eyes and then low blows Owen.  HHH follows up with a Pedigree for the win.  Good match for something early on the card.

Marc Mero and Sable defeated The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust and Luna
Nice recap of what’s led to this match and I’m glad cause I completely don’t remember this feud.  Goldust is in a super gay uniform and is introduced as “formerly known as”.  Mero and Goldy start out with Mero getting the upper hand.  Goldy tags in Luna which means Sable needs to come in (I’ve always hated this type of stipulation… just let them wrestle).  Luna runs from Sable and tags back in Goldust.  Good job playing the heel by Luna as there is no way in hell she’d ever run from Sable.  These inter-gender matches with that stip totally take way the concept of a “hot tag”.  Finally we get to Sable entering the ring and she clears house.  The guys are back in and Mero hits a low blow and tries for his finisher which Goldust counters.  Good stuff from the fellas during this portion of the match.  Mero hits a weak looking TKO and Luna breaks the count.  Sable in and hits the Sable Bomb on Luna and SHE kicks out.  Sable then hits a TKO on Luna (much better than Mero’s version) for the win.  Decent match at best.  Feel free to skip unless you’re a big fan of one of these participants.

WWF Intercontinental Championship
The Rock (c) (with Kama Mustafa, Mark Henry and D’Lo Brown) defeated Ken Shamrock by disqualification

Tennessee Lee in the ring announces Jennifer Flowers and Double J.  She then announces the participants.  Rock is with the Nation of Domination and gets a huge “Rocky sucks” chant from the crowd.  Even back then Rock is a heat machine.  Shamrock out and on fire quickly.  Apparently if Rock is DQd he’ll lose the match and the title.  I can’t decide if I prefer Rock as a heel or a face better… either way he’s damned awesome.  The “Rocky sucks” chant continues throughout the match.  Shamrock in charge completely until Rock uses the tights to pull him to the outside.  Rock hits what will become The People’s Elbow for a two count.  Apparently Rock is at odds with the Nation at this point (I don’t remember the storyline).  Shamrock brings a chair into the ring and pushes the ref down.  Rock picks it up and WAILS on Shamrock’s head.  Wow… talk about a stiff chair shot.  Shamrock kicks out, no sells the shot and takes over.  WTF.  Shamrock “snaps” and hits a power slam and hooks in the ankle lock for the win.  Weak ending.  The Nation comes in and Shamrock takes them out.  Shamrock keeps going back to the ankle lock.  Farooq out to help Rock and then turns his back on him.  Officials into the ring and Shamrock “snaps” again suplexing all of them.  Stretcher out to help Rock to the back and the “Rocky sucks” chants continue.  Damn… this was a bad beating for the Rock.  The referee reverses the decision because Shamrock wouldn’t release the ankle lock.  Shamrock snaps again and goes after Rock knocking him off the stretcher.  They’re totally playing up the Crazy Ken / World’s Most Dangerous Man angle.  Question here… why in the FUCK would they reverse the decision for something that happened after the match?  Lame.

Dumpster Match For The WWF Tag Team Championship
Cactus Jack and Chainsaw Charlie defeated The New Age Outlaws (c) (Billy Gunn and Road Dogg)
Oh you didn’t know?  Your ass better CALLLLLL somebody!  Out comes the Outlaws to one of my favorite themes of all time.  No DQ, no pins, no count outs.  To win you’ve got to put your opponents in the dumpster and close the top.  Think casket match with a garbage can.  This is a tough match to follow as there’s a ton going on both inside and out of the ring.  Mick Foley (Cactus Jack) goes for a dive on Road Dog and misses and hits the dumpster… ouch.  Terry Funk  (for those of you that don’t know that’s Chainsaw Charlie) back body dropped into the dumpster.  Good spot with Cactus and Charlie getting their heads slammed in the dumpster.  Cactus in the dumpster and works out with a double Mandible Claw spot.  Funk is amazing here and it’s even more obvious when Ross points out that he was a WrestleMania 2.  Finally we get in the ring and Cactus/Funk are in charge.  Cactus off the apron with an elbow drop on Billy.  Out comes a ladder and the ECW chants start.  Cactus and Gunn up on the ladder.  James whacks Funk in the head who proceeds to fall into the ladder and Jack/Gunn fall off the ladder into the dumpster.  Nice spot for sure.  Gunn then power bombs Funk into the dumpster off the apron.  The Outlaws take Cactus backstage and beat the hell out of him.  Mick makes a comeback with a chair and some DDTs.  Both Outlaws on a fork lift and they are deposited into another dumpster.  Cactus/Charlie close the lid for the win and the titles.  A clusterfuck to watch but rather entertaining.

The Undertaker defeated Kane (with Paul Bearer)
Good recap of Kane/Taker to this point.  Totally shows how “supernatural”‘ the WWF was back then (lightning, etc.)  Pete Rose out in a tux to be the guest ring announcer.  He’s playing the heel and says something to the effect of, “Last time I was here, we kicked your ass.”  Gay.  Here comes “hell fire and brimstone” (IE Kane) to give Pete a Tombstone.  Stretcher ride for Pete and Undertaker makes his way to the ring.  God DAMN does the man take forever to get to the ring.  Kane plays the bad ass early totally no selling everything Taker throws at him.  Remember that Kane at this point has been built into a MONSTER heel.  I do have to say that it does get a tad bit repetitive to be told their brothers again… and again… and again.  We go outside and Kane is really working over Taker with the ring steps.  Back in and Kane still in charge.  Choke slam and Kane picks him up rather than trying for the win (never a good idea).  Goes into a rest hold and Taker tries to fight back only to have Kane continually beat him down.  Taker knocks Kane outside and then proceeds to leap over the top rope onto Kane but goes right through the Spanish announce table.  Apparently (according to the announcers) Kane sidestepped him.  Looked to me like Taker fucked up.  Back in the ring, Taker goes into his Rope-a-dope cover up.  Taker manages to try for a Tombstone but Kane reverses it and hits it.  Undertaker kicks out and Kane is finally weakening a bit.  Taker hits a choke slam and calls for a Tombstone.  He hits it, crosses Kane’s hands over his chest and goes for a cover which Kane kicks out of.  WOW.  He hits a second Tombstone, crosses the hands and Kane kicks out again!  Awesome.  I totally don’t remember this.  Taker hits a HUGE clothesline and Kane no sells it and sits up.  Taker hits a 3rd Tombstone, hooks the leg and gets the win.  Paul Bearer in with a chair and beats on Taker.  Kane grabs the chair and wails on Taker.  Tombstone on the chair and Taker is left laying in the middle of the ring.  Good stuff here in the original “Brothers of Destruction” Mania match.

WWF Championship
Steve Austin defeated Shawn Michaels (c) (with Triple H and Chyna)
HUGE pop for the glass breaking on Austin’s entrance (which is my cell phone ring tone in case you care).  Love me some Rattlesnake.  Ross refers to HBK as “the greatest champion of all time”.  That may be a stretch, but you could probably put him in the conversation.  The DX band has been playing all night and this is one more chance for them to rock it out.  Early in the match, Michaels is doing the “jab and run” tactic which is clearly pissing Austin off.  When Austin finally catches him, we get the obligatory Michaels “moon the crowd” shot.  DX beats the hell out of Austin and eventually they’re barred from ringside.  HBK/Austin start battling outside the ring, on the band stage, the dumpster, etc.  Back in the ring and Austin takes over.  Good spot where Austin punches off the apron into the announce table.  Back outside and into the crowd.  Tyson to this point is remaining impartial.  Shawn nails Austin with the title belt and he flies into the first row.  Michaels really favoring his back at this point in his career (which is astounding as he kept wrestling YEARS after this).  HBK slows it down for a change and is in control.  He flicks off the crowd and Austin greets him with a Lou Thez press.  HBK regains the upper hand and works the knee of Austin.  Ross/King talk about Tyson and the officiating.  Ironically, Tyson has done nothing to this point other than throw Austin back in the ring one time.  Figure Four in the middle of the ring which is reversed (why does the reversal hurt?)  Austin catapults HBK into the corner and gets a near fall.  HBK follows up with a sleeper and we get a ref bump setting up Tyson’s involvement.  Austin back in charge and stomps a mud hole in Shawn.  HBK with a flying forearm and does his flip up.  He “tunes up the band” for the super kick but misses.  Austin tries for the Stunner but it’s blocked.  HBK goes for the kick again but Austin grabs his foot and hits the Stunner for the 1-2-3 by Tyson for the win.  Post match, HBK gets in Tyson’s face and slaps him.  Tyson levels him with one punch to send the crowd home happy.

General Thoughts

• WWF debuted one of the best promos I’ve ever seen at this show which I’ll refer to here as the “I’m not a real athlete” spot.  These were absolutely AWESOME and give me chills to this day.  If you’ve never seen it please check it out.
• Ross/King then mention the gross take of the event at one point.  I can’t ever remember hearing this before or since.  Weird.
• Whatever happened to Kane’s disfigurement?
• In addition to the “I’m not real” promo, the WWF busted out the “Oldtimers” promo as well.  Phenomenal.
• How the hell does HBK chew gum while he wrestles?
• Mike Tyson has the worst “DX chop” in history.

Carlito & Primo vs. John Morrison & The Miz – no fucking idea why this wasn’t shown.  I’m not a huge fan of tag team wrestling but these guys are pretty solid in the ring and it would have been nice to see more of the roster on the 25th WrestleMania show.  This is especially true when we got what we did (keep reading).

Money In The Bank – good opener but I don’t think it should have been the opener.  This match included CM Punk, Mark Henry,  MVP, Finlay, Shelton Benjamin, Kofi Kingston, Christian Cage and Kane.  REALLY sloppy but I suppose I can forgive it cause there’s just so much going on.  Pretty sure Shelton took a header and no one caught him.  Ouch.

Kid Rock Performance – OK…  I love his music but what… the… fuck!  There’s absolutely NO NEED for him to sing 4 songs.  This is time that was wasted and should have been spent elsewhere on the show.

Diva Battle Royal – Um… OK.  Have a dude win Miss WrestleMania???  As Pip said, that’s the kind of thing that you should do like the 5th or 6th time you have this battle royal… not the first and CERTAINLY not on this show.  The announcers didn’t even know who was in the ring.  Pathetic.  These weren’t announced on the show so in case you’re interested here’s the divas that were included:  Santina Marella, Eve Torres, Jillian, Katie Lea, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Melina, Maria, Natalya, Mickie James, Tiffany, Rosa Mendez, Joy Giovanni, Molly Holly, Jackie Gayda, Sunny, Torrie Wilson and Victoria.

Chris Jerico vs. Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka & Ricky Steamboat (with Ric Flair) – There’s dust that’s younger than Snuka and his one man-boob sticking out was just terrible.  I can’t remember Piper EVER doing a dropkick and his one-legged variation reminded me why.  Steamboat was awesome… simply amazing.  We made a comment that he could get in there today and win the IC title.  It was so great to see a “legend” that still has it.  Thank you Ricky Steamboat!  The Wrestler was a great movie but the whole Rourke tie-in was gay on the PPV.  We totally saw it coming and his doing with 1 punch what the other guys couldn’t do three on one?  Come on.  WWE fans deserve better than this.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy – I actually put the boys to bed during this and heard that I didn’t miss much.  The final twist of fate was pretty cool through from what I saw on the replay.

JBL/Rey Misterio - huh???  JBL’s been talking for weeks about how he’s going to do something “special” at WrestleMania.  So he goes out, proceeds to lose the Intercontinental title in 21 seconds and then quit?  Whatever.  JBL deserves better than this.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels – WOW!!!  Fucking wow.  This right here made it worth the $55 that I spent on the show.  Absolutely unbelievable.  This match just got itself a spot in my “Top 10 WrestleMania matches” list.  SO glad that they kept the streak intact.  In fact I’ll be super fucking bitter if they ever end it.  Mean Mark Calloway deserves to retire with it.

Edge vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena – I thought for sure that Edge or Show was going to take it.  I was pleasantly surprised that Cena took it down.  I really like him as champ rather than playing the role of chasing the title.

HHH vs. Randy Orton – OK… what the hell happened here?  They were running WAY late on the show and someone must have told them to go home right then.  Weak ending to a pretty poor match and it was even worse that this was the main event of the show.  I can only assume (based on this debacle) that this feud isn’t over.

GENERAL THOUGHTS:

This felt like any other show.  Aside from the “legends” match and the piss poor HOF stuff there was nothing special about this “25th anniversary edition.  How can you NOT have Hogan, Warrior, Hart, Savage, etc. on this show?  I know that there’s a TON of bad blood there but come on!

How could we have this show without the McMahons?  This just seemed pretty poorly thought out.  I’d definitely give the writing crew a bad grade here.

Anyone watch the HOF on USA Saturday night?  20 minutes of Steamboat, 5 minutes of “the others” and the rest of the show for Austin.  Stone Cold is OBVIOUSLY the biggest player there but you’ve just GOT to include some more people in your coverage.

And why… in the hell… was Koko inducted?  If you watch the montage they showed it goes like this:

Koko beating a jobber
Koko beating a jobber
Koko as part of a 3 man tag match
Koko beating a jobber
Oh, Koko lost that match
Koko beating a jobber
Koko beating a jobber

What the hell… I’d just like to announce right here that I’ll be inducted next year as the WWE’s number 1 fan.  Apparently all it takes is longevity.

Ugh…

* chewie runs away and waits for the DVD to come out which he KNOWS he’ll have to buy *