The 411 From 406 » jason voorhees

Hockey Masks, Razor Blades & Impalements… Oh My

Chewie — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 16:35:06 +0000

The fall seems to be synonymous with horror movies. It might be due to a little flick called Halloween. In any case I’m a HUGE fan of the genre. For my money I’d pick a horror/slasher flick any day of the week. Sure they’re campy, gory and go for the surprise factor but I absolutely LOVE them. For a genre that’s one part blood, one part gore, two parts T & A and three parts bad story I just can’t get enough. Without further adieu, here’s a list of my Top 10 favorite horror flicks (in no particular order). Note: I’m not going to bother distinguishing between “horror” and “slasher” in this list. Also, please don’t think that I’m suggesting that these are the “best” out there… just my favs.

The Shining (1980)
Starring Jack Nicholson is his definitive role, Shelley Duvall and Scatman Crothers, The Shining is directed by Stanley Kubrick based on a novel by Stephen King. That right there should tell you all you need to know about its brilliance but I’ll continue. The film tells the story of writer Jack Torrance (Nicholson), who takes a job as caretaker of the Overlook Hotel which always gets snowed in during the winter months. Jack’s son Danny discovers that he’s got an ability to see ghosts and he begins to go crazy. Jack on the other hand suffers from a severe case of writers block and eventually goes completely nuts. Between “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” and “redrum” this is an incredibly quotable movie and as with every Kubrick flick you’re going to see some freaky shit in there.

The Exorcist III (1990)
Remember, this is a list of my favorites – not necessarily the best horror flicks out there. If we’re talking about this franchise the original Exorcist from 1973 is obviously a superior film, but the third installment is by far a better horror film. This entry takes place 15 years after the events of the original film and thankfully completely ignores the piece of crap that was Exorcist II: The Heretic . George C. Scott reprises his role from the first film and is trying to track down the elusive Gemini Killer who has been deceased for some time (portrayed by Brad Dourif – best known now for his role of Grima Wormtongue in the LOTR films). This flick is creepy to the max. Any time you throw religious themes into a horror flick you open up new levels of weirdness.

Halloween (1978)
The original “slasher” film which introduced us to “The Shape” that would become known as Michael Myers. Even if you’ve never seen this film if you’re a horror fan you’ve see homages to it. Originally titled The Babysitter Murders the film tells the story of a serial murderer who terrorizes the town of Haddonfield, Illinois on Halloween. Many of the “rules” that are joked about in Scream come from this film: sexually active teens, folks saying “I’ll be right back” and the concept of “Is he really dead” were all born here. Actually this is a pretty slow slasher film in comparison to the stuff we get today (for example we get like 10 deaths in the first few minutes of the newest Friday The 13th film). That said there’s an incredible sense of suspense here heightened by not only the camera angles used but possibly the best horror movie score ever created.

Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
Here’s another example of favorite vs. better film. The original Nightmare is obviously the “better” film but I’d choose Dream Warriors every day of the week if I had to watch just one. Just like Exorcist III ignored it’s sub-par previous entry, Dream Warriors makes no mention of the crappy second flick in the Nightmare franchise. Heather Langenkamp reprises her role of Nancy who is now a specialist in dream therapy (how’s that for ironic). She of course is consulting a new group of kids battling Freddy Krueger (a demon who murders children in their sleep which consequently kills them in real life). The title character Kristen has the ability to draw others into her dreams making her capable of battling Freddy. I’ve always loved the concept behind this franchise and some of the most inventive deaths ever put to screen put this on the top of my list.

Seven (also known as Se7en) (1995)
Sometimes horror movie killers are evil incarnate. Other times they are plodding killing machines. Kevin Spacey’s John Doe is quite simply one of the most disturbing killers out there. Doe is attempting to carry out 7 murders based on the seven deadly sins: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride. This is a very dark look into the mind of a killer and Spacey does an AMAZING job bringing John Doe to life. While he’s not physically imposing like Michael or Jason he’s definitely as scary. This is one of those movies that’s pretty disturbing so it’s probably not one that you’ll re watch time and again but you definitely should put it in your cue if you’ve never watched it.

Saw (2004)
Saw is the first of the “torture porn” sub-genre that we’ve been treated to in recent years. As I said when I first reviewed the film “horror hasn’t looked so good in years”. The once per year sequels that we’ve been treated to have been garbage but this first one still stands out as one of my favorites as it’s a “thinking man’s horror movie”. Two men awake in a strange room and are given instructions (unbeknown to the other) to kill the other. They are the latest victims of the Jigsaw Killer, who doesn’t actually kill his victims but rather invents ways for them to kill themselves or one another.

Hellraiser (1987)
To try and explain the plot of Hellraiser to someone who’s never seen it is like trying to eat melted ice cream with a fork. It’s a tale of a puzzle box, demons from Hell and lots and lots of gore. In all honesty, I have a really difficult time following any of these movies but as a horror fan that just doesn’t really matter. Based on a novel by Clive Barker it explores the concepts of pain vs. pleasure in a truly horrific way. The characters of Pinhead and the Cenobites are icons in this genre.

Friday The 13th Part III (1982)
A third example of favorite vs. better film. The original Friday the 13th is incredible horror movie partly because we don’t know who the killer is until the climax of the film – in fact it’s not even the iconic Jason Voorhees that’s doing the killing in the original. When it comes to horror icons there’s nothing quite like the hockey mask that Jason wears. Said hockey mask makes its first appearance in this film which also contains some great kills. This was intended to be the “final” film in the series which is shown in the final scene of the movie. The fact that it was released in 3D gives all the more enjoyment – though it’s more just for “cheese” factor.

Scream (1996)
This is a “smart” horror movie if I’ve ever seen one. It takes all of the cliches of the genre and plays right into them. If you’re a horror fan I’d be shocked if you’ve never seen this one but if it was too “mainstream” for you when it came out I’d strongly urge you to see it. The sequels were not nearly as good but the original is great. One year after the death of Sidney Prescott’s (Neve Campbell) mom two of her classmates turn up dead (after an opening scene that is AWESOME). From here we’re introduced to a murder mystery where no one is safe, everyone is a suspect and what you know about horror might just save your life.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Horror on a budget. Much has been made about this film which was made for less than a million and made nearly 250 million (the the time the most successful independent film in history). Shot documentary style it tells the story of three filmmakers who hike into the Black Hills of Burkittsville, Maryland to film a documentary about a local legend known as the Blair Witch. We are told that they were never heard from again and we are being shown their missing footage. Suffice to say that the idea of “going to the corner” will never be the same again.

Alien (1979)
This is generally thought of as a science fiction movie, but the first one in the series is a straight up horror movie that happens to be set in space. The idea of being trapped in a location has never been as frightening as it is here. There is definitely some iconic stuff in here with inclusion of the facehugger, the Alien bursting through someones chest and the Alien itself. Sigorney Weaver stars in her career defining role of Ripley and does an absolutely amazing job. The sequel Aliens is many people’s favorite but for me its the original all the way.

Jaws (1975)
Based on a novel by Peter Benchley, Jaws brings terror to the screen in the form of Bruce the Shark. Not only was this an incredible horror movie but it was the first of the “summer blockbusters” and it definitely didn’t disappoint. For me, horror movies are at their best when the killer strikes out of nowhere and when the sense of suspense has been built throughout the film. Jaws does an incredible job of both. The first kill is gruesome and simplistic. By the end of the film you see a killing machine turn the resort town of Amity Island into a ghost town. There are some outstanding performances in here but Bruce steals the show. We’re definitely going to need a bigger boat.

OK – so this is a list of 12 rather than 10. As I was putting my list together I got to the end and realized that I hadn’t included Alien or Jaws. I’d left them off the list initially because Alien is typically thought of as a “space movie” and Jaws is normally seen as a “suspense” film. After some further reflection I’ve decided that these are horror movies in my book and with that distinction they NEED to be on this list.

Jason Is Back On “Friday The 13th”

Chewie — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 15:51:52 +0000

In 1980 the face of horror movies changed. We were introduced to Camp Crystal Lake and a killer named Jason Voorhees (yes, I know that Jason’s mother was the killer in the original… stick with me). From 1980 to 2003, we were given 11 sequels that took Jason from Crystal Lake to deep space, New York City and even to Hell. After nearly 30 years it was time for this franchise to get rebooted… apparently.

Horror movies have never been about plot so I won’t bore you with details other than to say that this is theoretically re-telling the first four Friday the 13th films. There are some obvious differences from the originals. For example, the original film takes place during the opening credits of this version and Jason witnesses his mother’s death. From there we follow Clay as he’s attempting to locate his sister Whitney who’s been “missing” for 6 weeks after a camping trip to Crystal Lake.

If you ask me there’s no need for this to be a reboot – it could have just as easily been a sequel and I would have been happy. Other than the fact that Michael Bay produced this one there’s not a single big name in the cast or crew. That’s actually a good thing though as I hate seeing a horror movie with someone I know in it. Aside from the loose plot similarities and the fact that Jason wears a hockey mask this really isn’t a Friday the 13th movie. Part of what made Jason so scary is that he was methodical and plodding. He really did stalk his prey and just waited for them to trip and fall. In this incarnation he’s anything but plodding… he’s quick, fast and ready for action.

He’s also (apparently) a great archer which leads to a great kill. Speaking of kills, there are some great ones here. The bow and arrow head shot from out of nowhere, a teen being cooked in a sleeping bag (post-coitus of course) and a very inventive screwdriver to the throat really speak to the “slasher” genre. I saw the “Killer Cut” so I’m not sure what was in the theater version but there are a few in there that are really brutal. If I wasn’t constantly comparing this to the originals I would have been very entertained.

If you’re a fan of horror flicks you should definitely check this one out. If you’re a Friday the 13th purist (cause there are so many of us out there) you may be a bit let down. For my money the original is one of the best horror flicks out there (with Halloween being a close second) and I just don’t believe that it needed to be retold. That said, I’m REALLY interested to see what the next movie brings us… it will be the 13th installment. Time will tell!

Combos, Fireworks and Canoes – The Bachelor In Brookville

Chewie — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 20:53:22 +0000

“What happens in Brookville stays in Brookville.” Headed into the weekend that was our battle cry. Our mission was simple – to give my little brother one last weekend of bachelorhood. In the words of Peter Venkman: “We came, we saw, we kicked it’s ass!!!”

Friday afternoon, 2 groups (Devin, Mark & I from Cleveland and Phil & Chris from Chicago) set out to converge on Brookville, Indiana where the festivities were to take place. The Cleveland group started out the trip with the musical brilliance of Randy “Macho Man” Savage. Yep… the wrestler. If you’ve never hear Randy on the mic you really owe it to yourself to check this out. You won’t be disappointed. If you don’t have time to watch the clip then these lyrics will give you just a little taste of what’s up:

“People wanna know if Macho’s still in the ring
People wanna know if Randy’s doin’ his thing
Everybody’s talkin’ wanna know this and that
So I’m a tell ya right now Randy Savage is back”

Yeah that’s right… Randy’s doing his thing. If that’s not enough for you, make sure to check out “Be A Man” where Randy rips into Hulk Hogan. Classic. Little did we know that as we were making our way down south the Chicago boys were having issues of their own. The figured it would be a good idea to pick up a bottle of Knob Creek to get the party started. Someone neglected to actually take the bottle off the top of the car when they drove away and they were subjected to watching a brand new bottle slide across the sunroof and off the back of the car. Chris did have the good sense to ask, “Do you think it broke?” Needless to say, the clerk at the liquor store was intrigued to see them walk back in about 8 minutes after they walked out.

Once we got there it was time to build the fire, set up camp and crack a couple of cold ones. I think we had originally planned to just take it easy that night but before we knew it about half that bottle was gone and we were having a grand old time. The campsite that we were staying at had “quiet” time starting at midnight. Other than us, everyone in the campsite followed this rule. We, on the other hand decided it would be a good idea to break out the fireworks… at 2:30 AM. Writers note: It’s amazing what happens when you throw a full party pack of fireworks into a campfire. It’s also amazing that we didn’t get tossed out of camp for this

Once the fireworks died down it was time to wind down for the evening. Not sure why but I just wasn’t tired so I decided to take a stroll. I also (apparently) decided to fire up my Twitter account:

Twitter/Facebook Update
3 and wandering around. Woot.
2:57 AM Jun 27th from TwitterBerry

Dude. Jason Voorhees would be creeped out by this place.
3:00 AM Jun 27th from TwitterBerry

And on that note, I called it a night…

Saturday morning I woke (surprisingly) early and decided to start the fire and the grill. We were in for a long day and had to get properly fueled.

Twitter/Facebook Update
I feel like the old guy on Survivor who’s up before the rest of the young whipersnappers. Gotta get the fire going. Tough immunity today#fb.
8:48 AM Jun 27th from TwitterBerry

After breakfast (sausage, eggs, hash browns) it was off to the river. Per the guy running things the river was running fast – a 4.8 to be exact. Though none of us were sure what the hell that means. Adam took an afternoon off from his fatherly duties and joined us for our trek down the river as well. We bungied our three canoes together and created the mighty party barge and pushed off.

My bro and I were in a canoe together and before I knew it we were headed straight toward a downed tree in the river. Not sure exactly how this happened but next thing I know I’m under the water with my wife and kids flashing before my eyes – that’s right folks, we’d managed to capsize. I still don’t know what a 4.8 for the river is, but I can tell you that I don’t think I could handle a 4.9. The canoe was pinned up against the downed tree, with me under it. Not sure where Mark was at this point cause I was doing my best just to get air. Luckily I came up inside the canoe which had a nice air pocket in it. Thank goodness the rest of our crew was so helpful… they took this opportunity to go about 25 yards down the river, get out, point and laugh. Fuckers. On top of that they referred to me for the rest of the trip as if I had died during that episode (IE: “Too bad Chewie isn’t here, he would have enjoyed this,” a la Ghost). Again… fuckers.

In any event, we did eventually get the canoe turned back around and we proceeded to shotgun a couple of beers to get the BAL back to where it should be. The rest of the trip down the river went off without event and by the time we made it down river we were very much looking forward to some time out of the sun. As luck would have it, at the entrance to our campsite sat a Pizza King. In retrospect it should have been called Taco King but I do have to say that the air conditioning was second to none.

The plan going into the weekend was to spend Saturday night at “a bar” uptown Brookville. While this certainly goes against the concept of “camping” it’s perfect from a bachelor party perspective. After our Pizza King excursion we all went back to camp and had a little siesta (which was just what the doctor ordered). I don’t know about you but after a long day of drinking and a nap it’s BRUTAL to get up and get going again. As we were making our way uptown Devin and I decided that the first beer of the night was going to be rough. I’m proud to say that we went and brought it home like champs. The bar in question here is called Who Cares. If you’ve never been there I’d strongly suggest you check it out. It’s all kinds of awesome. Devin was THE MAN when it came to the “One Dart Challenge” and Mark reigned supreme when it came to the on site bowling ($0.25 per game by the way). Our bartendress Regina took very good care of us and really did give us quite a bit of leeway.

After bowling, shots and darts we started in on the pool table and commandeered the juke box. Looking back at my Twitter updates I see that we went completely old school. All I remember is we had a damn good time.

Twitter/Facebook Update
Rocking the juke box with Ugly Kid Joe.
11:02 PM Jun 27th from TwitterBerry

Thunderstruck!!!
11:37 PM Jun 27th from TwitterBerry

I had to do it… Freebird!
12:42 AM Jun 28th from TwitterBerry

And those are just the ones that I remembered to tweet about (man I’m a dork). I’m getting a little long winded here so I’ll just leave you with one last photo and a couple of “keywords” that will forever be linked in my mind with this great weekend.

Regina: The best bartendress in Brookville
Who Cares: all kinds of awesomeness
Combos: drunk food for the ages
Pizza King: better tacos than pizza
Marko: hung in there like a champ
Jim Beam: the shot of champions
Canoe Fest: where are they all going?
Donuts: incoming!
Fire Dance: Devin – watch where you’re going brudda
The Tree: Phil – it’s definitely more than 3 swings
Shower: Chris was the only one that took advantage
Beer: can’t really beat Icehouse, Busch & Natural Light can you?

There were a whole lot of “you had to be there” moments during this trip. As an older brother I’m damn glad that I was there. All I can say at this point… I’m REALLY looking forward to the reception

Top 10 Guilty Pleasure Movies

Chewie — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 03:27:44 +0000

My favorite podcast, The Geek Savants recently did a show about guilty pleasure movies (I.E. bad movies that you love and will watch every time you run across them). It was a great episode and really got me to thinking about some of my favorites. That said, here’s my list!

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Legally Blonde (2001) – Reese Witherspoon plays Elle Woods, a stuck up blond girl from out California that follows her boyfriend to Harvard in an effort to get on his good side. It’s a complete chick flick that I’ll watch ever time cause it’s funny as hell and Reese looks amazing in it. Also stars Luke Wilson and Selma Blair.

Bad Medicine (1985) – Jeff Marx (Steve Guttenberg) comes from a family of doctors so naturally he is to follow in those footsteps. Unfortunately he’s a terrible student and is unable to get into any schools… except for a little crappy one south of the border. Also stars Alan Arkin, Julie Hagerty and Julie Kavner.

Necessary Roughness (1991) – the fact that this film stars Scott Bakula and Sinbad should tell you all you need to know. The Texas State University Fightin’ Armadillos have to make it through the season with a team of players that have been thrown together by circumstances. Kathy Ireland, Rob Schneider and a tear-jerking final scene… check it out.

What Women Want (2000) – Mel Gibson receives the ability to hear women’s thoughts. Helen Hunt plays a competing co-worker, Alan Alda plays their boss and Marisa Tomei plays one of Gibson’s conquests… SMOKIN!

Summer School (1987) – Mark Harmon plays a school teacher (Freddy Shoop) that is forced to teach summer school to a group of pathetic teens. Other notables are Courtney Thorne-Smith as one of Shoop’s students and a pre-binge Kirstie Alley as another teacher.

THE TOP TEN

#10 – The Pirate Movie (1982)
Loosely based on The Pirates of Penzance this is a musical starring Christopher Atkins and Kristy McNichol. Atkins plays Frederic who is contracted to The Pirate King until his 21st birthday… unfortunately he was born on a leap day so he’s got a LONG time to go. The story centers around Frederic’s quest to gain his freedom and McNichol’s character Mabel. This film won 3 Golden Raspberry Awards (Worst Musical Score, Worst Director, Worst “Original” Song) and was nominated for 6 more including Worst Picture.

#9 - Rhinestone (1984)
Country singer, Jake Farris (Dolly Parton) makes a bet with her manager (Freddie Ugo played by Ron Leibman) that she can make anyone a country singer in two weeks. Freddie chooses none other than Nick Martinelli (Sylvester Stallone). Jake takes Nick back home for a couple of weeks to give him a crash course in country living, singing, walking & talking. Naturally there’s a love story thrown in but if you can get past that this is pure brilliance.

One of Nick’s “original songs”:

Budweiser you created a monster / and they call him Drinkenstein / And the tavern down the street is the labba-tor-eye-ee / where he makes the transformation all the time / And a stein of Dr. Buuuud is a pint of monster blood / and it does effect me different every time / Budweiser you created a monster / and they call me Drinkenstein / And they call me Drinkenstein / I’m Drinkenstein! / I’m Drinkenstein!

#8 – Jason X (2001)
Jason Voorhees (yes, that Jason reprized here by Kane Hodder) has been captured and cryogenically frozen. In the year 2455 he is re-animated aboard a spaceship because Earth as we know it has become inhabitable. As for the rest of the plot here goes: people try to kill Jason and Jason kills people. There are a couple of really inventive kills here and the appearance of Uber Jason raises the bar on this 10th entry in the Friday The 13th series.

#7 – 9 to 5 (1980)
I can’t believe it happened but I’ve got two Dolly Parton films in my top ten… not sure what that says about me. Parton, Lily Tomlin & Jane Fonda kidnap their boss (Dabney Coleman) after they learn of his plot to exploit their company. They need to keep him captive for over a month and come up with some inventive ways to keep him from escaping.

#6 – Big Trouble In Little China (1986)
Trucker Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) and his friend Wang Chi (Dennis Dun) head to the airport to pick up the love of Wang’s life who is subsequently kidnapped. To rescue her they must head into the underworld of Chinatown, battle kung-fu masters and the 2,000-year-old Lo Pan. Throw in a street gang, the “Three Storms”, a pre-Sex And The City Kim Cattrall, and a crazy tour bus-driving sorcerer and you’ve got a recipe for pure geekdom.

#5 – Starship Troopers (1997)
Think of this as a war movie meets 90210. The cast is too “pretty” for their own good but they turn out a great little movie that is pure Paul Verhoeven. Johnny Rico (Casper Van Dien) joins the military to follow his girlfriend (Denise Richards). Earth is then attacked by the bug-infested planet of Klendathu and Johnny’s home is wiped out. The rest of the flick is about how the humans battle the bugs. Verhoeven weaves in anti-war theme sentiment, a fascist state and a intense fear of the unknown. The rest of the “pretty” cast includes Dina Meyer, Jake Busey, Neil Patrick Harris & Patrick Muldoon. Michael Ironside is thrown in there for a nice dose of “bad ass”.

#4 – The Beastmaster (1982)
Dar (Marc Singer) is son of a king stolen at birth from his parents by the evil Maax (Rip Torn). Dar is saved by a local villager and is taught how to fight and get this… communicate with animals! Tanya Roberts is thrown in for a love interest and eye candy that’s completely unnecessary but for what it is the role isn’t all that terrible. The rest of the story is pretty straight forward as Dar goes across the world looking for Maax. There’s some pretty great fantasy sequences in here and the special effects aren’t all that bad for a movie that was made in the early 80′s. This one spawned a sequel (which shouldn’t be on any top 10 list) and a television show but neither come close to this original.

#3 - The Last Dragon (1985)
If you caught this one half way through you might think you’re watching Enter The Dragon — think again! While the references and homage is obvious, this movie’s greatness really does stand on its own merits. Teenage martial arts student Leroy Green dreams of becoming a great martial artist like his idol Bruce Lee. Leroy goes on a quest to become a “master” and achieve “The Glow”. Along the way Leroy must confront the evil Sho’nuff, the Shogun of Harlem. Laura Charles played by Vanity acts as the love interest for the completely socially awkward Leroy. There have been rumors of a remake of this film starring Samuel L. Jackson as Sho’nuff. One word… wow.

#2 – Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (1985)
The third movie from 1985 in my list here, this movie is one for the ages. Remo Williams (played by Fred Ward) is recruited to be a secret agent when his death is faked essentially wiping him off the face of the Earth. This movie was based on a long running series of books call The Destroyer and you know the the movie studio had high hopes for the feature film when they gave it the “Adventure Begins” tag line. Unfortunately there was never another Remo adventure.

Remo’s mentor Chiun is played by Joel Grey and he’s absolutely awesome. He’s a soap opera loving, ass kicking, racist, sexist pig who dodges bullets, runs on water (no shit) and completely puts Remo in his place. There’s a little father/son thing that is developed as the movie goes along which while completely predictable is not too corny.

The plot of this one (like most of these films) is secondary to the awesomeness that is the characters. In the interest of completeness I’ll outline it here:

Cop becomes part of secret agency
Cop becomes bad ass under tutelage of “master”
Bad ass goes against “the bad guy” and wins

Yep, that’s about it from a plot standpoint. If that ain’t enough to get you hooked I don’t know what is.

#1 – Megaforce (1982)
Pure brilliance. The story about a rapid deployment defense unit that is called into action whenever freedom is threatened. How can you go wrong there! Throw in Barry Bostwick in spandex, guns, explosions, flying motorcycles and quite possibly the worst green screen in the history of, well, green screen and you’ve got one great movie. Actually it’s complete crap but that’s the whole point of this list. I remember seeing this one in the theater and playing Megaforce on my big wheel for weeks afterword. Believe it or not, there are actually some name actors in here (or at least people you’d recognize). The aforementioned Barry Bostwick, Michael Beck, Edward Mulhare & Henry Silva all make appearances and the beautiful Persis Khambatta is there for eye candy. I’ll definitely never argue that this is a “good” film (nominated for 3 Razzies) but I’ll tell everyone in my demographic that you need to experience this at least once. I’m a huge movie quote guy and there are two here that stand out for me:

Commander Ace Hunter says:

“I just wanted to say good-bye and remind you that the good guys always win, even in the eighties.”

One of my all time favorite movie quotes that I live my life by (no shit):

“It’s all on the wheel, it all comes around.”

Finally I’ll leave you with this. If you’ve got a couple of minutes check out this video. Pure genius.

“Saw” – Horror Hasn’t Looked So Good In Years

Chewie — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:31:19 +0000

Now before you get all on my case about this movie review being 5 years too late let me give you a bit of background… I don’t watch nearly as many movies as I used to. At least I don’t watch them right when they come out. The wife and I haven’t seen a movie in the last 15 years that we both like so it’s very rare that we rent anything. My kids are 2.5 and 9 months and I refuse to write movie reviews for The Wiggles and Dora the Explorer so I’m unfortunately way backed up on some pretty damn good flicks.

So… I’m a HUGE horror movie fan and have been for years and years. I’d seen the hype for the Saw franchise for quite a while and just had never gotten around to watching it. Finally I had some traveling coming up and decided I wanted to watch it so I ripped it to my iPod and watched this movie over a couple of days…. WOW. It’s certainly not in the same vane as Michael Myers & Jason Voorhees “slash fests” but this is a downright GREAT horror movie. I haven’t seen the rest of the franchise yet but I’m definitely going to put them on my list.

CAST: I actually didn’t realize until I started watching it what a great cast this was.

Cary Elwes – of The Princess Bride fame
Danny Glover – still getting “too old for this shit” from Lethal Weapon
Ken Leung – you’ll know him from Lost, X-Men: The Last Stand, Law & Order, Etc.
Michael Emerson – the great Ben from Lost

They all put in great performances in what I consider to be an often overlooked movie genre. Whether you like them or not, horror movies are here to stay!

STORY: Two men wake up in a room with a dead body between them. They don’t know how they got there, why they are there or what they are supposed to do. What they do know is they are chained in the room with very little means of escape. The killer “Jigsaw” informs them that there is in fact a way to escape, what needs to be done and what happens if the “rules” are not followed. Horror movies are less about the story and more about the thrill factor and gore so I’ll leave this part of review at this: The story of this flick could stand on its own merit. Right up there with Se7en in terms of “oh shit” factor.

GORE/KILLS: Some very inventive kill scenes in this one. It’s not all that gory in relation to some of the horror movies out there today but there’s definitely enough for the bloodthirsty out there. This is definitely not your “hockey masked hack and slash” that has plagued the Friday the 13th franchise for so long. (That said, I LOVE those movies ) Not since the Scream have I seen such a “smart” horror movie. Very well done indeed.

CONCLUSIONS: If you’re a horror movie fan this is a great flick. You’ll have plenty of scares and a good amount of gore. For a killer who doesn’t do all that much killing Jigsaw is a breath of fresh air. I can’t WAIT to see the rest of this franchise!