The 411 From 406 » geek

The Phantom Menace In 3D – I Hope It Fails Miserably

Chewie — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 04:27:15 +0000

I’ll warn you in advance… I have a feeling this is going to turn into a bit of a rant. I have a feeling that I may insult a few folks and for that I apologize, but quite frankly I’m at the end of my rope. Don’t say I didn’t give you a head’s up.

My respect for George Lucas is officially gone. The man that created what I consider to be the greatest series of films ever has finally gone too far. There was a day long ago where the idea of sitting down with the bearded and plaid clad Lucas would have a been a dream come true for me. Not anymore.

Next month The Phantom Menace is going to be back in theaters… in 3D. You remember the Phantom Menace right? It was the piece of shit movie that George gave us that kicked off the prequel trilogy. Yeah… that one. When the 10 year anniversary of TPM rolled around, I wrote this post about how I was done defending Lucas. I just re-read it and I stand by it 100%.

Now to the real crux of this post. George Lucas I have a question for you sir. How much fucking money do you need? When will enough be enough? Cause let’s face it… that’s all you care about these days.

Why else would you re-release your legacy in 3D? I’m pretty sure the “I’m still tinkering with my story to give you my original vision,” line of bullshit is completely out the window at this point. Do you honestly think we’ll believe that you wanted that stupid ass “NOOO” from Vader at the end of Jedi? Come on dude.

I could even get behind this 3D thing if you came out and said something to the effect of, “I wanted to see how my films would look with today’s technology.” But let’s face it sir… the only films that you’ve made that people still want to see these days are your original trilogy. The crap that you put out starting with Phantom Menace no one wants to see. The fact that you’re going to rape us for the additional 3D fees just really pisses me off. THAT is why I hope this movie fails at the box office. It’s time to start voting with our dollars.

I didn’t buy Star Wars on Blu-ray when it came out. (Luckily Pip did ) To be fair, I don’t own a Blu-ray player at all, but when I get one you can rest assured that Star Wars won’t be my first purchase. Old Uncle George already has enough of my money with what seem like annual releases of his saga. If George wants to get any more of my money for a home video release, he’s going to have to give me the ORIGINAL versions of Star Wars, Empire and Jedi. I don’t want special editions where Han looks like a pussy and doesn’t shoot first. I don’t want CGI-laden crap where Darth Vader has no eyebrows and I don’t want 36 hours of commentary from George and other producers telling me why I should love these versions.

I didn’t head to the theater the last time Star Wars was in theaters… you know why? Cause it was essentially nothing more than 2 episodes of a crappy television show that George decided to slap together and call a feature film. I fully recognize that The Clone Wars isn’t for me. My kids love it and to George’s credit I don’t ever recall him saying that he was trying to appease fans like me. He’s more interested in action figure sales.

Merchandising…

I like action figures. I’ve always enjoyed collecting and playing with them. Because of that, there is a nostalgia around these products for me. And good ol George capitalizes on that better than anyone. But enough is enough.

The original Kenner line of Star Wars action figures was around from 1977 to 1985. During that time there were “only” 115 action figures released. 12 figures per year isn’t too much to ask for from a collector especially when you figure in the price of the toys back then. By comparison, the “Vintage Collection” from 2010-2011 contains 98 figures. That’s an average of 49 figures per year for ONE LINE. Factor in the other lines (Saga Legends, Clone Wars, Legacy Collection) and you can just start to see why collectors might get pissed.

But I can’t put all the blame on George for this stuff. After all… if there weren’t folks buying it he wouldn’t put it out right?

Folks, if you get excited by a “packaging variant” you’re a dork. Do you buy your toys specifically to keep them in the package and get them “graded”? You’re wasting your money and kind of pathetic in my book. Did you pay more for an “exclusive” version of a figure cause it was packaged differently? Seriously? Just as it’s George’s “right” to remake his movies as often as he likes, it’s your “right” to spend your money any way that you see fit and “collect” anything that you want to collect. And it’s my “right” to laugh at you and write about it here.

Yep… I do a bit of collecting myself. But you know what I do when I get home with my action figures? I open that shit up…

Would it be nice to take my kids to see Star Wars on the big screen? Sure it would. But I can’t in good conscience give George Lucas one more dime of my hard earned money. I honestly think that the ONLY way it will stop is if one of these projects crashes and burns. What if the LOSE money on this Phantom Menace release? That’s not going to happen, but boy would that be AWESOME. If it sounds like I’m bitter its cause I am. Star Wars was a huge part of my childhood and at this point I feel like I’m being taken advantage of by a flash in the pan filmmaker who hasn’t had an original idea since 1983. Except of course which action figure will bring in the most cash.

No Love For The Crocs

Chewie — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 20:51:22 +0000

I recently posted this picture to my Facebook page. Now I know that Crocs aren’t “cool” by any stretch of the imagination, but I have to say I was a little bit shocked at just how much people hate these shoes.

That's right... I'm wearing my Crocs to the Home Depot. I am dad... Hear me roar.

Interested in the responses? Here they are (some of them had me rolling)…

not cool..lmao!
Yuck
Lowes is much better
you shouldn’t be wearing those unless you’re mario batali or 6.
-5 cool points
I see no problem with this…
Fressssssshhhh!
Do they at least match your slacks and sweater vest?
Omg a preppie daddy …
If you are at bainbridge HD you’ll fit in …
Looking for those shoes that look like feet
Sad,sad day
they don’t make those for men…do they?
Chop!
That’s wrong in more ways than I can count. Next you’ll wear them with black socks and plaid shorts.

My only question is this. When did Crocs become synonymous with “preppy”?

A Bit Of My Geek Collection

Chewie — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 14:28:48 +0000

In a previous post I talked about how I’d recently gone through some boxes in the basement and pulled out some old toys, specifically my Devastator from back in the day. That lead to a discussion on one of my favorite podcast’s Facebook page about our collections, etc. I took this quick video to show a couple of my items and thought I’d share it here as well.

It focuses on figures from the first 4 waves of the current G.I. Joe line called Pursuit of Cobra and also includes Voltron, Star Wars and Transformers toys. What’s in your collection?

Bringing Back An Old Friend: Devastator

Chewie — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 05:41:56 +0000

As you know if you read more than a post or two here, I’m a geek. I’m a child stuck in a (fat) man’s body that simply refuses to grow up. As I’m the father of two and (more importantly in this case) husband to one I have but one room left in the house that I can call mine…the basement. As the kids get bigger (and require more room to run and store THEIR shit) I’m losing my man cave (or at least parts of it).

So… to that end, I’ve been cleaning up the basement, organizing, throwing away, etc. During this exercise, I ran across a trunk full of my Transformers from when I was a kid. After some digging and some searching on the Internet I managed to put him back together in all his glory. I can’t say that all of his joints are as tight as they were 25+ years ago, but all his parts are there and he now enjoys a prime spot on the top of my TV (conveniently out of the reach of the boys).

I’ve missed you old friend… welcome back.

The Best Of The 411 From 2010

Chewie — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 18:22:09 +0000

These types of lists typically come out at the beginning of the year. I’m all for giving convention the middle finger so I’m doing it in the day after St. Patrick’s Day. Got a problem with that? Part of why I keep this blog is as some sort of “outlet” for my creative juices. Another is that in this day and age this is about the only “cool” way for a guy to keep a diary. I go back and often and read stuff that I’ve written in the past so these types of lists I get a real kick out of. This particular list also will give you a pretty good idea of the type of stuff I write about. Enjoy!

The Top 10 Posts Of 2010 (Based On Number Of Views)

#10 – WrestleMania VI – The Ultimate Challenge
This is part of my WrestleMania Project where I’m reviewing every show since the beginning. As you’ll soon learn (if you don’t already know) I’m a wrestling geek. This particular show was great as the main event pitted Intercontinental Champion the Ultimate Warrior against WWF World Champion Hulk Hogan. Tremendous.

#9 – Robert B. Parker – R.I.P.
My all time favorite author Robert B. Parker (creator of Spenser of Spenser For Hire fame) passed away in January. This was my, “Thank you and goodbye” post.

#8 – Top Holiday Movies
The top 10 and 5 honorable mentions. If you’re looking for some good movies to check out next holiday season this would be a good list to start with.

#7 – Finally Something Good From The Birdman
Another wrestling related post. Koko B. Ware had one of the worst gimmicks in wrestling history (in my opinion). He was a “jobber” as smart wrestling fans say… a guy that loses to the big talent. Yet he’s in the WWE Hall Of Fame. All of my angst aside, I found something to like about him.

#6 – Top 10 Movie Villains (Pt. 1)
One of only 2 posts on the entire blog that I didn’t write. My good buddy Pip put together a list of his top villains. Pure gold. Unfortunately, part 2 has yet to be delivered *hint hint*

#5 – The WrestleMania 26 Drinking Game
Drinking is fun. Wrestling is fun. Mix them together and you’ve got a great time. This is last year’s version. If you’re interested in the current year’s list you can check it out here.

#4 – Mint.com FAIL
Mint.com is a (supposedly) site that allows you to keep track of your money, create and maintain a budget, etc. This post talks about my (brief) experience with the site.

#3 – Top 10 Guilty Pleasure Movies
I love top 10 lists. Here’s a list of movies that I hate to admit that I love.

#2 – Harry Hamlin Made Me Smile (in 2010)
The other post on the site that is not written by me. Pip has 2 out of the top 10… you’d think that’d be enough of an ego boost to get him to join me once in a while? This is a report of a video game that Pip played with an interesting cameo.

#1 – Top 80′s Action Movies
Thank GOD I managed to get the top spot on my own blog! Another top 10 list… this time my favorite 80′s action flicks. Love it!

Oh You Didn’t Know?

Chewie — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 22:30:11 +0000

The wife looked at me today and made the following statement:

“The boys are neanderthals because they’re learning from their blockhead father.”

While I certainly don’t mind the personal comparisons to Charlie Brown, I thought that was a wee bit harsh on G & C so I decided to investigate what would bring their mother to speak so ill of them.

If you’ve ever read this blog, you know by now that I’m a bit of a wrestling geek. I don’t apologize for it… it’s been part of who I am for the better part of 3 decades now. Also, for those longtime readers, you’ll know that as part of the WrestleMania Project I’m right around the mid teens of the event. In any case, at WrestleMania 15 a tag team called the New Age Outlaws was pretty popular so I got to hear their theme song and it got stuck in my head.

Now this particular theme song is a bit “raunchy” and begins with the line, “Oh, you didn’t know? Your ass better CALL somebody!!!“ Naturally, with this song stuck in my head my boys wanted to know what I was saying under my breath now and again. I told them (leaving out the “ass” part) so they’ve been running around the house yelling (at the top of their lungs)… “Oh you didn’t know?!?!?”

So now we come to today… The wife had them in the doctor’s office waiting for their flu shots. Apparently, my two little angels were running right up to a couple of young girls in the waiting room and saying at the top of their lungs… you guessed it, “Oh you didn’t know?!?!”

I love being a dad

Thank You SPIKE – You Brought Me Back

Chewie — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 04:22:30 +0000

I’ve been a Star Wars fan for as long as I can remember. I grew up with the original trilogy to this day those movies have shaped my geekdom in many ways. The prequel movies came out and like just about every other Star Wars fan I was ecstatic to once again see this universe on the big screen.

I’ve written in the past about how based on those prequel movies I’m done defending George Lucas’ movies. I’ve also talked about how I’m rather on the bitter side that my childhood is being raped by all of these remakes and reboots. However, after this weekend, I’m happy to report… I’m back baby!

SPIKE TV had an original trilogy marathon this past Labor Day weekend. For those of you that DON’T know, this includes episodes IV, V and VI of the Star Wars Saga – A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back and Return Of The Jedi. Based on my bad feelings toward the prequel trilogy it’s been years since I’ve sat down and watched the original. While I didn’t watch all 3 films straight through this weekend, I did get to watch enough where it got my geek juices flowing again. These movies are awesome folks. They hold up incredibly well after 30+ years. The characters are iconic and it’s some of the best storytelling and action put to film.

Thank you SPIKE… I feel like I’m home. I’ve got, if you’ll excuse the pun, a new hope.

The Delayed Pictoral – Geekfest 2010

Chewie — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 06:34:56 +0000

I realized this evening that there was something missing from the 406 site… 2010 Beeramid pictures! I simply cannot believe that I let this slip. I mean come on Chewie, you can’t post the recap and then NOT post the pics right???

I dug through my emails from Pip and my files on the hard drive and managed to find them. I don’t have time to crop and post them all tonight, but I figured I’d give just a little taste of what you can expect once they’ve been posted (will probably be early next week).

As you can see, Pip hooked us up with some SWEET t-shirts for the event and naturally we had our list to help the night along. Stay tuned!

The Confusion Ends Sunday… Maybe

Chewie — Fri, 21 May 2010 13:37:56 +0000

Don’t worry… this post contains no spoilers. I couldn’t spoil you if I wanted to.

The series finale of ABC’s Lost airs on Sunday evening and so (hopefully) does my confusion. I consider myself a Lost fan for sure, but I’m not a Lost geek. The distinction is minor, but one that’s important to make between fans. As an example, I have no problem sitting in a bar talking theories with my buddy Pat about who did what or what’s going to happen and I do listen to the Official Lost Podcast as well as The Lost Podcast With Jay and Jack. However, I’m not one of these folks that looks at the books on the shelves in the background of a scene, I don’t care what the significance of the rabbit’s name is and I sure as hell don’t know how the two time lines are going to come together. And therein lies my enjoyment of Lost.

I can’t remember the last show where I was completely and utterly confused while watching… and KEPT watching it. This is one of the few shows that the wife and I can watch together (I roped her into ABC’s V as well) and regardless of the outcome on Sunday evening, I’m going to be sad to see it go. I really do hope though that they give us some closure. I’ve been confused long enough folks. Damon/Carlton… thanks for the memories. It’s time to bring it home.

The Last Couple Of Flicks

Chewie — Thu, 06 May 2010 20:12:44 +0000

It’s been a while since I’ve done any movie reviews. Hell it’s been a while since I’ve done any posting at all, but that’s another story. Since my last review, I’ve seen a couple of movies and I figured I’d put them in one nice little post. Enjoy!

The King Of Kong – A Fistful Of Quarters
I actually saw this a while ago and just never got around to writing a post about it (damn real life getting in the way). This is a 2007 documentary that tells the story of two men (Steve Wiebe and Billy Mitchell) attempting to break the world record for Donkey Kong. That’s right… Donkey Kong. The story portrays Wiebe as the “good guy” going after the “bad guy” Mitchell’s record. I’ve played quite a few video games in my days and watching this was absolutely awesome. If you’ve ever played Donkey Kong and remember how damn difficult that game can be you owe it to yourself to check this one out. Regardless of if you think gaming is a legitimate activity you can’t deny how much work goes in to being a great DK player. Check this one out. You won’t be disappointed.

Live Free Or Die Hard
This is a great little action movie. Unfortunately it’s not really a Die Hard movie. Sure it’s got John McLane in it, but that’s about where the comparisons to the original trilogy end. I guess I feel the same way about this one as I did with the remade Friday the 13th – it was a good horror movie, just not a Friday movie. This time around, McClane is dealing with a group of virtual terrorists who have managed to “take down the grid” so to speak. Conceptually this is actually pretty damn cool, especially if you’re a techno geek like me. As with the other Die Hard flicks you really need to suspend disbelief when you start watching this (McClane takes out a helicopter with a truck… don’t ask) but once you get past that stuff it’s really quit enjoyable. Bruce Willis gives a fine performance as do Justin Long (the Mac guy from the Mac/PC commercials) and Timothy Olyphant (of Deadwood and Hitman fame). The cast is rounded out nicely with some folks that you may or may not have heard of complete with a small part by one of my favs Kevin Smith. Go into this understanding what it is (a popcorn movie) and what it really isn’t (a Die Hard movie) and you’ll have a good time.

Avatar
Going into this flick I figured any movie that had made a BILLION dollars and was like 10 years in the making had to be good. Unfortunately I was wrong. Let me start out by saying that this movie looked absolutely AMAZING. I was lucky enough to see it in IMAX 3D and I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that 10 years from now when we look back and what 3D technology has become, we’re going to point to this movie as the one that started it all. I’ve got to give James Cameron huge props at having a vision and seeing it to fruition. As for his story telling ability it left quite a bit to be desired. The best way I can describe this is Dances With Wolves meets The Matrix. If that seems like a weird mix of plots, it’s cause it is. I actually fell asleep during the first 30 minutes or so and didn’t miss a damn thing story line wise. If you can still catch this one in a theater in 3D then I’d recommend you do so simply so you can see the beauty that’s on screen, but if you’ve missed it and your only opportunity is on DVD then it’s a definite pass.

Hot Tub Time Machine
Had a chance to see this when Pip was in town. Being a child of the 80′s I was interested to see how they’d handle that decade and I’m happy to say that they nailed it (at least in my memory). This certainly isn’t a “good” movie by any stretch of the imagination, but I have to tell you that I chuckled the whole way through. The cast that I thought would be suspect works really well together. John Cusak in probably my favorite roll since Gross Pointe Blank plays the lead, Craig Robinson (of The Office fame), Clark Duke (Kick Ass) and Rob Corddry in a show stealing performance as Lou round out the cast nicely. In addition, there are some great 80′s cameos (William Zabka… if you’re a kid of the 80′s and you don’t know that name shame on you), Chevy Chase and Crispin Glover. All of this PLUS, if you’re a Cleveland Browns fan and “The Drive” still bothers you… well, I’ll just say you need to check it out.

Kick Ass
I’ll get the pun out of the way… Kick Ass kicks ass!!! Being a comic geek I’m always somewhat worried when these things come to the big screen (though there have been some damn good comic movies in the last couple of years. I was not familiar with this story going into it and boy was I blown away. This is an edgy and dark story about a normal guy that decides to be a superhero. No special powers, no utility belt… just a desire to do something that other people won’t. He learns along the way that he’s not the only person who’s had this idea and meets up with Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage) and his daughter Hit-Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz). While this is a comic book film, it’s in the same style as the darker comic flicks we’ve been given lately – Dark Knight, Sin City, etc. This is a very violent movie and definitely not for kids but as an adult DAMN was it a good time!