Anyhow…

There’s a Storm Shadow figure out there that I’ve not run across yet so every time I go in Target I pop into the toy isle to see if he shows up.  The last few times I’ve been in I’ve seen a disturbing trend.  Not only is another one of my favorite characters (Destro) clogging up the pegs, but Target is really going the extra mile in trying to clear him out… by RAISING the price $2.00 on each figure!!!

Destro Before - At $8.99

Destro After - At $10.99

The pictures above were taken about 2 months apart.  In case you can’t see it, the figures on the left (all of Destro) are priced at $8.99 per figure.  The photo on the right taken a couple of months later shows the exact same group of Destro figures still gathering dust on the pegs.  However this time they’re marked at the bargain price of $10.99 per figure.

Thinking I’ll go back next week to see if these Destro figs can crack the $15 barrier.  Fail.

Since WWE announced it’s Mania main event the day after last year’s show (Rock vs. John Cena for those not paying attention), I figured we’d better get going and put together rules of engagement for the evening’s festivities.

This year, we’re starting something a bit different.  Moving forward, we’ll have 20 rules for each event.  This first batch of 10 will carry over from year to year and the second batch will be Mania-specific rules.

Year Over Year Rules

1. 1 drink for a missed match outcome / 3 drinks if title match / 5 drinks if main event
2. 1 drink for foreign object
3. 3 drinks for a bloody wrestler / 5 if an announcer references a “crimson mask”
4. 3 drinks for (unannounced) legend appearance or a surprise return
5. 1 drink for a small package attempt / finish beer if it wins the match
6. 1 drink for each reference to the sponsored song
7. 2 drinks for a submission victory
8. 5 drinks for a double count out or double DQ
9. 1 drink for a finisher / 2 if opponent kicks out / 4 if it’s reversed / Finish beer if the reversal directly leads to pin fall or submission
10. 1 drink every time they show footage of a previous WrestleMania

These days with the boys I don’t do a whole lot of toy collecting.  The vast majority of my collection (Joes, Star Wars, Transformers, etc.) went to the garbage heap long ago without me knowing about it (thanks Dad).  There are just too damn many Star Wars figures for me to get into that line, but a few years back I ran across some new G.I. Joe figures in the stores.  I bought my first one (I believe the first one I got was Duke) and  I was hooked.

Fast forward a couple of years and this line (now known as The Pursuit of Cobra) has now come to an end.  There are 36 figures in the line put together in 6 “waves” that were released.  In addition, there are 2 figures that were Toys ‘R’ Us exclusive figures.  I was sad to find out today that with the advent of the 30th Anniversary line of Joe figures the Pursuit of Cobra line is over and done with.  This bums me out more than I can tell you, but it does mean that I’ve got the complete line.

Above is a quick walk through of the 18 G.I. Joe figures from this line.

Followed by a quick review of the 18 Cobra figures. 

And finally a discussion of just how many accessories are included.

So now the question becomes… what’s next?  As I said previously I just can’t get behind the money grubbing machine that Star Wars has become and I’m not a huge fan of the other Joe lines out there.  Thinking I’ll either pick this style up with the 30th Anniversary line or go back to my put on hold original Joe collection.

It focuses on figures from the first 4 waves of the current G.I. Joe line called Pursuit of Cobra and also includes Voltron, Star Wars and Transformers toys.  What’s in your collection?

NOTE: THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987)
Special thanks to my buddy Shawn Prior for hooking me up with this one.  As I said on my twitter feed, “The first 4 minutes of GI Joe the animated movie are some of the best in movie history.”  I hadn’t actually planned on watching this whole flick, but when you’ve got a 2 hour flight, followed by a 2 hour layover and then a 4 hour flight, shit happens.  This flick follows our favorite characters and introduces us to quite a few new ones.  Like most cartoon franchises in the 80′s, G.I. Joe was all about moving product off the shelves and this was a great way to introduce these new characters.  I won’t go into a plot review here other than to say that Cobra finds itself a new Allie in the form of the organic Cobra La.  There are quite a few purists out there that absolutely hate this movie, but I’ve always really enjoyed it.  My one big complaint is how they killed Cobra Commander.  He’s always been one of my favorite characters and for him to go out like that kind of pissed me off.  But then again look what happened to Fett.  If you’re a fan of the franchise I’m sure you’ve already seen this one, but if not you definitely need to.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
I’ve already reviewed this movie previously so I won’t go into a whole lot of detail here.  After watching the 87/animated version I figured I’d stay in the Joe frame of mind and watch the updated version.  I can say that I agree with my thoughts from my original review.  This is a very entertaining action movie that’s not NEARLY as bad as some of the haters out there would lead you to believe.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Being such a bit Potter fan I’m shocked that it’s taken me this long to get to this one (especially since it’s one of my favorite books in the series).  That said, this one is decidedly “so so”.  My fears that there were too much going on in the book to translate onto screen were realized as I found myself time and time again going “huh?”  As with any novel turned flick, it’s difficult sometimes to give the movie audience enough background so they can follow the action.  There were quite a few times here where if I hadn’t read the book I’d have NO IDEA what was going on.  And while the movie house probably assumes that viewers have read the books there are at least a few out there that haven’t… and they’d be lost.  I was very happy with the treatment of Dumbledore’s death but would have liked to have seen his funeral and the battle that ensued as shown in the book.  I can only assume those events will be shown in the forthcoming movies.  As with the books, the story is getting better and better as the movies go on and the movies are LOOKING better and better as we move forward.  I can certainly see why this one made nearly a billion dollars and simply cannot wait for the next Potter flick.

Fanboys (2009)
Seeing as I’m a bit of a fanboy myself this one has been on my radar for quite a while.  This is essentially a road trip movie set to Star Wars.  5 friends decide to trek cross country to break into Skywalker Ranch to get a sneak peak at Episode I: The Phantom Menace.  The movie that ensues is full of Star Wars references, dialog and cameos (Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Ray Park, Kevin Smith, etc.)  Even though this was a colossal flop in the theaters (it cost 8 million to make and grossed less than 1) I can tell you that I completely enjoyed it.  If you’re not a Star Wars fan I’d urge you to stay away because A: you’re not going to get 3/4 of the movie and B: you’re not going to get the other 1/4 of the movie.  The non-Star Wars portion of the plot (one of the characters has cancer which is why they’re on this journey before he dies) simply isn’t strong enough to carry you if you’re not down with the Star Wars stuff.  However… if you’re a Star Wars fan and have been staying away based on the negative reviews and poor box office performance I’d say give it a shot.  May the Force be with you.

This will contain spoilers – if you want to know nothing about the movie before you see it skip this post and come back after you’ve seen it.

If you’re like me you heard very bad things about this flick.  I heard that it was the worst previewed movie in history, that the director had been fired halfway through, that they weren’t going to allow official movie reviews, etc.  Since most people are going to go into it with the “it sucks” mentality I’ll start off with the bad stuff.

THE BAD STUFF

1. The CGI – it’s fucking terrible.  There are quite a few times where it’s was so bad that it took me out of the movie.  Planes don’t fly accurately, characters do shit that wouldn’t be remotely possible (even when you suspend disbelief) and there are some scenes where you can almost see the green screen technicians standing in the background.
2. The outfits – not so great.  I can’t really put my finger on it but the Joes just don’t look “authentic”.  They’ve got a Starship Troopers look to them… if that makes any sense.  The military folks in The Transformers look much more realistic.
3. Cobra – so the movie is called “The Rise Of Cobra” and you don’t get much of that until the last minute of the movie.  Should have/could have done more.

THE CHARACTERS

• Snake Eyes – Ray Park is a bad ass and he looks great with one exception – he’s got a mouth.  Terrible.  Looks nothing like the original character and there’s not even a “movie” reason for the change.  Not good.
• Baroness – SMOKIN.  Sienna Miller is incredible in this role and looks amazing.  I’ve always thought of Baroness as a bit “matronly” and there was none of that here.  I didn’t dig her back story but I can deal with it.
• Duke – really looked the part but I’ve always thought of Duke as an “older” Joe.  Every time Channing Tatum was on screen I couldn’t help think of WWE superstar John Cena.
• Destro – you don’t see him plated until the end which is fine.  The actor is a little too thin for my liking but definitely plays the cerebral Destro to perfection.
• Ripcord – I really thought Marlon Wayans would get on my nerves.  He didn’t.  Well done Marlon.
• Scarlett – PERFECT casting.  Rachel Nichols captures her character and plays her to a T.  Oh… and she’s HOT!
• Storm Shadow – I preferred the comic version where you didn’t know really who he was and rarely saw him out of ninja gear but I’ve got no problem with this treatment.
• Hawk – Dennis Quaid was a perfect choice for Hawk.  Not a big role in this flick but needed an actor that could pull it off.
• Heavy Duty – bad choice of an actor.  Based on his appearances in Lost and Oz I just couldn’t see Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje in this role.
• Breaker – I’ve got a certain affinity toward this character as he was my first ever figure.  I’m not a huge fan of changing him from American to Moroccan but I was happy with the way he was portrayed.
• Cobra Commander – what… the… fuck.  The back story is wrong, the outfit is terrible and for a flick called “The Rise of Cobra” he’s got no screen time.  You simply cannot have Cobra Commander without the faceplate or the hood.  Awful.
• Zartan – happy to see him in the film and REALLY looking forward to what they do with his character in the sequel.  Nothing like the comic/figure but that was to be expected.

THE GOOD STUFF

1. Action – make no mistake – this is an action movie.  It’s not a retelling of the comic and it’s certainly not the “made for TV nobody gets shot when there’s a milion bullets flying” stuff that you got with the cartoon.  The Paris sequence is great and the attack on the Pit was a treat to watch.
2. Nostalgia – I’ve been waiting for this flick for nearly 30 years.  To finally see the Joes on the big screen was awesome.  I was naturally comparing it to the cartoon/comics but I can honestly say that I was completely entertained the entire way.
3. The origins – I’ve said a couple of times that I don’t like the back story that they’ve given the characters.  This is partially due to MY history with the characters so I can overlook that.  That said, this doesn’t feel like an “origin movie” which it clearly is.  The story moves along quite well and the back stories are told through a series of flash backs in a way that doesn’t detract from the plot.
4. The setup – based on the limited previews that I saw I thought I’d hate the storyline for this flick (what the hell is a nano-mite anyways?)  I was pleasantly surprised that I really found myself caring about the plot.  The ending was tight and totally left some great jumping off points for a sequel.

RECOMMENDATION

In a previous post I bitched about how my childhood was being raped.  Honestly I’m really happy to finally see this flick on the big screen.  I can understand why there have been a slew of negative reviews but if you’re a child of the 80′s like me I’m guessing you’re going to enjoy watching this.  Go into expecting the same characters and plots that you got in the 80′s and you’ll be disappointed.  Go into expecting a fun popcorn action movie and you’ll be happy.  Recommended movie for fans of the G.I. Joe universe.  I was able to overlook the bad stuff and walked out of the theater entertained and looking forward to more G.I. Joe and Cobra.

Star Wars, G.I. Joe, Transformers, Halloween, Friday The 13th, Tron… I could go on and on.  It seems as if Hollywood is completely devoid of any original ideas these days.  Don’t get me wrong – some of these movies are great.  I completely enjoyed Transformers as well as the sequel Transformer 2: Revenge Of The Fallen.  I have yet to see G.I. Joe but I’m sure that I’ll enjoy that one as well purely based on nostalgia value… and therein lies the problem.  Since I’m enjoying them it means OTHER people are enjoying them.  It means they’re making money.  It means that the cycle will not stop anytime soon.

I’ve ranted here about my feelings on the current state of the Star Wars universe so I won’t bother rehashing it.  But the more I think about these remakes, reboots and re-imaging I just get this feeling of “something’s not quite right”.  My memories of playing with those toys, watching those cartoons, and having those adventures are precious to me.  Now I’ve got to assimilate all of this new information into those memories and I simply cannot process it.  I have less of a problem with the Transformers  and G.I. Joe’s of the world – those are merely being told in a new media.  It’s kind of cool actually to see a “real life” Optimus Prime or Storm Shadow.  What really gets me is these reboots.  It’s a story that has been told (successfully I might add)… STOP THE MADNESS.

Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street and Halloween – these are three of the most well known horror franchises of all time.  They’re good cause of what they are.  Please leave them alone.  The fact that Rob Zombie’s Halloween was a good retelling doesn’t change the fact that it should never have been made.

Tron – seriously?  Were there really people out there clamoring for a retelling of Tron?  Go back and watch it… it’s a clever story but it’s already been retold.  It was called The Matrix.

Robocop – again… the idea is played out.  I don’t need another version of an ass-kicking cyborg.

Ghostbusters – please God… do not allow this to happen.  Especially after all these years.  The first movie is a classic and the second is pretty damned good too.  We do not need a follow up to this.  Didn’t we learn anything the Indiana Jones experiment?

I’m begging Hollywood to please allow my childhood to stay intact.  Please give my kids their own movies, toys and properties to love.  There’s no reason they have to enjoy the same stuff that I did when I was growing up.  You want to really get sick?  Here’s a list of stuff that’s currently in the works:

• Romancing The Stone – I don’t see how this one could be made better.
• Back To School – talk about getting no respect… Rodney I’m sure is rolling in his grave.
• Conan – haven’t we seen enough bad Arnold franchises try to come back?
• The Karate Kid – with none other than Will Smith’s son Jaden in the lead roll.
• Footloose – staring… Zac Effron.  Fuck me.
• Short Circuit – this is one that I like but let’s be honest… it sucked the first time around.

Pissed off yet?  I could go on and on.  You know what REALLY upsets me?  I’m going to see each and every one of those movies thus continuing this sad trend of recycled garbage.  Ughh.

For those that don’t know, The Transformers are robots that morph (transform) into vehicles and other objects to blend in to their surroundings.  The property first came to us in the mid 80′s as a cartoon and has since spawned three (as of last night) theatrical releases, comic books, toys and and episodic television show.  I’m a child of the 80′s.  I lived for the Transformers.  It was my favorite show to rush home from school to watch.  I had the toys, I went to the movies, I pretended to be my favorite characters.  That’s why I’m going to this movie… cause I have great memories of this franchise and Michael Bay knows it.

The first movie had its flaws for sure.  I couldn’t tell what was going on when robots were fighting other robots.  The human dialog was kind of sappy.  I wasn’t a big fan of the hand held camera views.  But you know what?  I loved it!  I loved the fact that these robots from my childhood were being brought to life on the screen.  I loved the fact that Megan Fox is in there (just cause I think she’s completely beautiful).  I loved the fact that it didn’t try to be anything but what it was – a balls to the wall action movie.  Many of the reviews of Revenge Of The Fallen that I’m reading are bitching about those same things.  If I could get past them in the first film I’m sure I’ll be able to get past them in the second.

Transformers isn’t the only 80′s franchise that’s going to get my money this summer.  G.I. Joe is getting a big screen treatment of its own later this summer.  I’ve been excited about seeing a live action G.I. Joe flick for years and ever since the first trailer showed up during the Super Bowl this year I’ve been counting down the days.

Unfortunately the early reviews of G.I. Joe – The Rise Of Cobra have not been good.  Reports of the worst test screening in the history of the studio, fired directors, rewritten scripts, etc. have been circulating for a while now.  All I can tell you is this: the trailer was awesome and I’ll be there when this one hits the theaters.  G.I. Joe (like The Transformers) defined who I was when I was growing up in the mid 80′s.  I remember going to the theater to see the original G.I. Joe movie and wondering what the hell Cobra-La was.

These movies get made for one reason: Money.  The movie houses KNOW that there are folks out there like me that will flock to the flicks no matter what kind of garbage is put to screen.  Throw in a couple of toy lines to hook the younger kids and you’ve got yourself a billion dollar property.

This geek simply can’t wait.  Autobots… roll out!  Yo JOE!!!