The 411 From 406 » dog

Have A Seat Pup

Chewie — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 17:29:31 +0000

Another one straight out of the “I couldn’t make this shit up” file. We were headed out to my folks house for Sunday dinner last night. They live “out in the country” a ways so it’s pretty common to see animals (specifically deer) as we make our way to their house. As we crested over a hill, my wife pointed out that there was something up ahead crossing the street and told me to slow down (what would I ever do without her helping me drive?)

As were about a half mile away, we assumed it was deer. As I slowed down I realized it was none other than a couple of dogs. As I approached, not only did they not move (after repeated horn honking) but the larger of the two actually sat down in the middle of the road and looked at me! So not only is this dog not smart enough to move when a car comes along, but he’s also arrogant enough to completely ignore me when I honk at him.

I’m happy to report that when we came home a few hours later the dogs were out of the road (though they were still sitting along the side of the road just checking stuff out). Stupid animals.

The Cuteness That Is Children

Chewie — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 20:49:25 +0000

A couple of days before Christmas our dog Ralphie had some pretty serious back surgery. His entire back had to be shaved and he had an incision about 6 inches long running down his spine. Luckily he’s recovering nicely but it’s been a long road back for sure. We’ve got to carry him up and down all the steps, make sure he doesn’t jump up or down furniture, etc. Of course this is a colossal pain in the ass cause those are all things he’s been able to do his entire life.

But like I said, he’s recovering nicely. In fact, the G-man has noticed as well! He was petting Ralph the other day and the walked over to me and said:

“Daddy… Ralphie’s crack is back together!”

I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried…

Things I Learned This Weekend

Chewie — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 18:48:42 +0000

I’m sure everyone out there on the Interweb loves to read about my crap. I had a couple of interesting/funny things happen this past weekend… enjoy!

A smoothie, when spilled by a two and a half year old, will splatter all over the floor, table, walls & windows. When said smoothie is mopped up it will leave a stick residue on the floor until you clean it thoroughly. You cannot simply wipe it up but the floor needs to be mopped completely. The child that spilled the smoothie will pick THIS time to imitate his parents by blurting out, “Holy CRAP”. At the same time you’ll be pissed at the child and trying not to laugh at his assessment of the situation.
Lobster tail that costs $24.99 per pound when frozen does not in fact take only 5 to 7 minutes to steam like it says on the Internet. Unfortunately I don’t know exactly how long it takes to steam because ours was part too done and part raw. By the time we got done with it ours was closer to rubber than it was to lobster. It didn’t matter though because I was with my valentine on Valentine’s Day.
A two and half year old boy will find the most dangerous activity presented to him and then do that… over and over again. He will scream bloody murder if you try and stop him. I believe this to be universal but have not yet confirmed.
My wife and I love the show Top Chef… we are not qualified to even WATCH this show but we do anyway (see lobster tail bullet above).
Neighborhood children will completely ignore the “please do not ring bell” sign posted on the front door… especially when both the boys are napping. The dog notices this most of all.