Event:

Brief introduction package on what we’re going to see this evening. Vince, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler on the call which is a great announcing lineup. We get right into the first match.

Four-way Tag Team Elimination Match
The Headbangers (Mosh and Thrasher) defeated The New Blackjacks (Blackjack Windham and Blackjack Bradshaw), The Godwinns (Henry and Phineas) (with Hillbilly Jim), and Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon
I’m not a big fan of tag team wrestling to begin with so I’m certainly not a fan of 4 bad teams wrestling in a tag team elimination match. The Blackjacks quickly get DQ’d and Furnas and LaFon get counted out. Pretty lame way to get down to 2 teams if you ask me. From there, we get a decent tag match between the Headbangers and the Godwinns. In the end the Headbangers get the win. OK match at best obviously on the card to get a lot of talent a spot on the show.

WWF Intercontinental Championship
Rocky Maivia (c) defeated The Sultan (with Bob Backlund and The Iron Sheik)
The first WrestleMania appearance of the man that will eventually be known only as The Rock. Rocky looks good early until he goes for a clothesline on the outside and misses and hits the post instead. (Damn did that look painful). Sultan takes over and we get a rest hold. Sultan has terrible pin attempts throughout the match with a ton of rest holds thrown in. Rocky fights back to a double clothesline spot. Rocky hits a huge belly to belly for a close pin and then follows up with a HUGE cross body off the top. Match would have been over but Sheik is on the apron and breaks the count. Crescent kick by the Sultan followed by a big pile driver. Rocky gets a pin to retain the title out of nowhere. Sultan beats down Rocky post match and Iron Sheik slaps on the Camel Clutch. Out of the crowd comes Rocky’s dad Rocky Johnson to make the save. Super lame finish.  Rock and Rocky look like chicken flapping their wings in the middle of the ring.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley (with Chyna) defeated Goldust (with Marlena)
HHH in full blue blood mode here. Goldust in charge from the get go with a nice spot where HHH gets tied up in the ropes OUTSIDE the ring. I can’t remember seeing that particular spot before. After that spot, HHH takes over and lays a beating on Goldust.  Chyna standing stoic on the outside, but announcers are referencing and showing her constantly pretty much guaranteeing that she’s getting involved. Marlena is SMOKING hot here (pun completely intended) as this was her “smoke a cigar ringside” phase. Good back and forth action here but the pace of the match feels like we’re waiting for something. Goldust in charge and Chyna finally makes a move toward Marlena. Goldust has his finisher locked in but releases it to go to Marlena’s aide. HHH hits Goldust and he inadvertently throws Marlena into Chyna who throws her around like a rag doll. This allows HHH to hit the Pedigree for the win. Decent match, but obviously the start of a program between these two rather than a resolution.

WWF Tag Team Championship
Owen Hart and The British Bulldog (c) fought Mankind and Vader (with Paul Bearer) to a double countout
Owen and Vader in to get us started. Vader in charge as you’d imagine and hits a Vader bomb relatively early in the match. He goes for his corner drop and Bulldog over to break it up. Bulldog manages to take over and hits a huge suplex on Vader which is damned impressive.  Vader’s a HUGE dude.  Good teamwork from Mankind/Vader and they take over control of the match. Pretty typical back and forth tag match here with Mankind/Vader generally working to keep Owen on the ring and isolated. Hot tag to Bulldog and Mankind manages to work in the Mandible Claw. They dump out of the ring and Mankind refuses to release the hold. Bulldog selling hit like he’s dead but they both get counted out. Could have been a decent match but had a terrible ending.

Submission Match
Bret Hart defeated Steve Austin
This is the match the made Austin a household name. Not only that, but it started Bret Hart down the path of a heel which was some of the best work in his career in my humble opinion. Forgetting how great the match itself was, these two momentous things alone easily put it in my Top 10 WrestleMania Matches of all time. We start out quick with Austin pouncing on Bret. In quick order, they’re outside of the ring and into the crowd. They’re battling up the stairs of the arena and we get a nice back body drop on the stairs spot. Back in the ring after a few minutes of crowd battling we get an awesome looking swinging neck breaker by Bret. He then starts to work on Austin’s knee obviously setting him up for the Sharpshooter later in the match. Austin manages to hit the Stunner to turn the tide a bit, but there’s no pin falls in the match so it’s irrelevant. A while later, Hart debuts (I believe this was the first time we saw it) the “around the post figure four” which I always liked. Not sure how bad it would hurt, but it looked fucking sweet and Austin sold it like a champ. Hart goes for the “break the ankle in the chair” spot which had been featured on Raw in recent weeks and Austin pops up and WAILS on Bret. Wow. Austin starts in on some submission stuff including a neck crimp and a Boston crab. He goes for the Sharpshooter but Hart gets a thumb in the eye to break it.  Back outside and Austin gets whipped into the guardrail and gets busted open.  Not sure if this was a legit cut or not but DAMN is he bleeding.  This is of course what leads to the most iconic bloodied Austin ever.  Blood just POURING out of Austin’s head.  He manages to hit a low blow to mount a comeback.  Vince makes a reference to the fact that blood doesn’t happen often in the WWF.  Austin has Hart wrapped with a mic cord and Hart uses the ring bell to “ring Austin’s bell”.  He then locks on the Sharpshooter.  This is where you get the shot that’s been in so many montages where Austin’s got blood pouring down his face.  Austin almost breaks out but Bret hangs on and reapplies it.  Austin “passes out” from the pain/blood loss and special ref Ken Shamrock stops the match.  Bret goes after Austin again post match and Shamrock throws him off and squares off against Bret in the ring to a chorus of boos – double turn complete.  Austin to face, Hart to heel.  Announcers totally talking up Austin and what a bad ass he is.  Outstanding match.

Chicago Street Fight
The Legion of Doom (Hawk and Animal) and Ahmed Johnson defeated The Nation of Domination (Crush, Faarooq and Savio Vega) (with Wolfie D, J.C. Ice and Clarence Mason)
This has crap written all over it from the get go.  The Nation is in total “blaxploitation” mode.  LOD and Ahmed coming out looking awesome in their shoulder pads.  No rules, no tags… just a fight.  There are all kinds of weapons in the ring and the action is everywhere.  Kind of difficult to follow cause there’s so much going on (similar to early in a battle royal or when the Royal Rumble gets busy).  Animal goes for a pile driver on the Spanish announce table on Faarooq which was fucking lame.  He just kind of knelt down.  These street fights are typically nothing more than a cluster fuck and this one is no different.  Fire extinguishers, rope, garbage cans, etc.  Naturally they eventually introduce the kitchen sink.  Eventually, LOD hits their finisher on Crush and follow with a clothesline with a 2×4 for the win.  Double Doomsday after the match on Wolfie and J.C. Ice which was pretty cool.  In the end I found myself enjoying it more than I thought I would.  Good work rate from these guys and they put on a decent match.

No DQ Match For The WWF Championship
The Undertaker defeated Sycho Sid (c)
Shawn Michaels is announced and comes to ring area in street clothes to do commentary for the match.  Hi fives around the ring and hamming to the crowd.  Give the “Cliq/ NWO/WolfPac” hand signals all around.  We get a weak ass promo with Sid before the match doing his “master and the ruler of the world” crap.  God is he terrible on the mic.  Taker is out first as the challenger in the old school gray outfit from back in the day.  They go nose to nose in the middle of the ring and before we really get into it Bret Hart makes his way to ringside.  He grabs the mic and starts to bitch at Shawn.  He then tells Taker that they’re no longer friends and tells Sid that he’s a fraud.  Punch and power bomb from Sid for his troubles and the crowd pops further cementing Hart’s heel turn from earlier.  Typical Undertaker to start with some old school moves.  Taker comes out of the corner right into a bear hug from Sid.  Really?  Do we need a rest hold this early?  Sid works on the back and is in charge of the match.  He throws Undertaker out and through the French announce table.  Vince chimes in that this is now a no holds barred match.  I’m thinking they realized that Sid fucked up by bouncing Taker through the table so they had to make the switch on the fly.  Sid locks in a Camel Clutch and keeps working on the back.  Taker has NO offense at all.  Side with a super weak “power slam” and tries to go for 3 pins in a row.  Taker comes back with a crappy looking “jump high and hit a clothesline” move.  Sid back up quickly and they take it outside with Sid into the first row of fans.  They’re outside for like a minute with no count out so apparently it’s no holds barred and no count outs now.  Sid in charge for quite a while until Taker hits a small offensive burst, a power slam and into a rest hold.  Nice spot with a double boot to the face and both guys down.  A few minutes later, Taker manages to make an attempt at the Tombstone but Sid reverses is and hits a Tombstone of his own.  Sid crosses Taker’s arms over his chest and Taker kicks out.  At this point Taker’s “streak” wasn’t what it is today, so this before he kicked out it was looking pretty dicey.  Sid throws Taker outside and goes to work.  Bret Hart shows up yet again (Jesus Bret… go away) and hits Sid with a chair (huh?).  Back in, Taker hits a choke slam but Sid kicks out.  Sid fights back and has Taker set up for the power bomb but fucking Bret is back.  Sid releases Undertaker and goes after Hart on the apron.  Hart give him a “stunner” which sends Sid right into Taker for the Tombstone and the win.  I didn’t remember all of the outside interference in this match.  I wish The Undertaker could have gotten a clean win but I’m happy to see him get the title.  Vince talks about hos Taker is “finally” the champion.  Um… hey Vince.  Did you forget about Tuesday In Texas?  Overall a good title match that sends the fans home happy with Taker getting the belt while forwarding the Bret Hart heel turn.

General Thoughts

• Before the event, there was a Free For All match where Billy Gunn defeated Flash Funk.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… there’s a reason these Free For All matches are NOT on the PPV.
• It’s amazing how much bigger HHH is currently than he was during this event. I’m not saying he’s roided up, but he might be using steroids.
• Funny to hear Jim Ross pimp the AOL chat room during the event. Oh how the times have changed.
• There should be a rule that no match on a PPV can end via count out or via outside interference. It’s just fucking stupid and does nothing put piss off the paying customer both at the arena and at home.
• The “thumb to the eye” move. It’s been around wrestling for years and everyone just takes it with a grain of salt. Have you ever actually stuck your thumb in your eye? This hurts like a son of a bitch.

Event:

We kick off the show with images from the original WrestleMania.  Little Richard sings America The Beautiful poorly.  Pretty sure he was lip syncing and he looks like a damn wax statue.  Scary dude.  We get Jerry “The King” Lawler and Vince McMahon on the mic.

Owen Hart defeated Bret Hart
We get a great recap here pre-match.  Probably the best of the series so far.  We’re then treated to a weak ass fireworks display and then FINALLY nearly 15 minutes after the show started we get the first bell.  Owen playing the heel to perfection.  We start out with some good wrestling and reversals from both guys and right off the bat you know this is going to be a good match.  Great stuff.  Bret takes a whip to the ropes/turnbuckle better than anyone in history.  Great looking Camel Clutch by Owen on Bret that they don’t reference by name.  Course not… then it would be a finishing move.  Awesome match back and forth between both guys.  Owen hits a non-named Tombstone and follows up with an attempt off the top rope which he misses.  Owen goes for a Sharpshooter and Bret reverses it but neither man get it locked on.  Nice innovative spots there.  Bret hurts his knee and Owen starts in.  Figure Four, leg sweeps, etc.  Talk about back and forth action!  Bret hits a superplex off the top.  Owen finally manages to lock in the Sharpshooter and Bret breaks and reverses it.  Bret goes for a victory roll and Owen drops down to get the pin and the victory.  Fucking outstanding match.  It made my Top WrestleMania Matches list as an honorable mention and definitely deserves to be there.

Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon defeated Doink the Clown and Dink
Wow… how in the hell did we get here?  Doink and Bam Bam start out with some standard stuff and eventually Dink and Luna get in on the action.  I mean really… how much can you do with a midget against a regular sized person?  Though I do have to say that seeing a midget go off the top rope is hilarious.  Huge DDT by Doink on Bam Bam.  Doink goes for his finisher but misses.  Bam Bam takes over and hits a head butt off the top for the victory.  So so match, but luckily it was pretty short.  Post match Dink goes after Bam Bam.  He and Luna go to splash dink but they blow the spot.

Falls Count Anywhere Match
Randy Savage defeated Crush (with Mr. Fuji)
In this “falls count anywhere” match you don’t actually lose the match if you’re pinned.  You have to also fail to return to the ring in 60 seconds.  Crush comes to the ring rocking a serious mullet and Savage attacks before the match starts and we’re off.  The first fall comes after about 30 seconds or so which sets the tone for the entire match.  Savage has to make his way back to the ring after being dropped across a retaining fence.  Naturally he makes it back with about 1 second to spare.  Crush goes for the dreaded “salt to the eyes” but it gets reversed.  Savage takes over and hits the elbow.  After dumping Crush to the outside he gets the fall.  Crush back in with 2 seconds to spare.  At this point they begin to battle through the crowd and to the backstage area.  Savage gets a pin and then hogties Crush upside down in the back.  Crush can’t make it back to the ring in time and Savage gets the win.  Decent match, but due to whole “get back in 60 seconds” rule we lose quite a bit of urgency.

WWF Women’s Championship
Alundra Blayze (c) defeated Leilani Kai
Leilani looks like she’s been ridden hard and put away wet.  Pretty typical women’s match for this day and age (pre Diva stuff).  Blaze gets the victory with a German suplex.  Skip this match completely.  The only noteworthy thing about this one is we’re shown Volkoff, Lou Albano, May Young and Moolah in the crowd.

WWF Tag Team Championship
Men on a Mission (Mabel and Mo) (with Oscar) defeated The Quebecers (c) (Jacques and Pierre) (with Johnny Polo) by countout
M.O.M. raps on the way to the ring… dear lord.  Johnny Polo (also knows as Raven) leads the Quebecers.  MOM in charge early.  Quebecers make a comeback and pull off a nice move where one body drops the other over the top onto the good guys.  Mabel gets a hot tag and cleans house.  The Quebecers get an impressive looking suplex on Mabel (damn that’s a big dude).  They hit their finisher and Mabel kicks out.  Thankfully this comes to an end when MOM win by countout.  Pretty piss poor match.

WWF Championship
Yokozuna (c) (with Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette) defeated Lex Luger by disqualification
Mr. Perfect is the special guest referee and Yokozuna comes to the ring first which sucks – champ should always be in last.  DAMN is Yokozuna big dude.  RIP sir.  Luger gets a real near count with a cross body off the top rope.  Follows that with a HUGE elbow drop.  He then goes for a slam and doesn’t even come close.  Naturally after the failed body slam attempt by Luger, Yoko takes over.  It’s not his fault but being so big his move set is very limited.  He goes into a nerve pinch (rest) hold for a few minutes until Lex gets up and breaks the hold.  At this point, we go into a terribly frustrating portion of the match.  Yoko beats down Luger who gets up, gets some offense in for a minute and then gets beat down by one single punch/kick from Yoko and we follow that up with a minute of a rest hold.  Ugh.  Luger fights back to his feet once again and gets hit with a HUGE belly to belly suplex.  Lex manages to hit Yoko into the exposed turnbuckle.  Luger knocks Yoko off his feet after multiple clotheslines.  Luger then follows that up with a slam (wow) and hits the loaded elbow/forearm.  Yoko out cold.  Cornette and Fuji in to the ring and Luger attacks them and the covers Yoko forever and a day.  Perfect goes to see how Cornette and Fuji are but doesn’t make the count.  Luger gets off of Yoko and goes after Perfect wondering why he’s not counting pushing him in the process.  Perfect then DQs Luger which leads to the crowd starting in on a “bullshit” chant.  I agree folks… fucking terrible.

Earthquake defeated Adam Bomb (with Harvey Wippleman)
Pre-match, Wippelman and Fink (?) get into it.  Why, I have no idea.  Who in the hell wants to see that?  Adam Bomb out and grabs Fink.  Earthquake out to make the save and… oh yeah… to have a match.  He gets the squash victory.  Bad but mercifully quick.

Ladder Match For The WWF Intercontinental Championship
Razor Ramon (c) defeated Shawn Michaels (with Diesel)
This is the ladder match that started it all.  No rules.  The storyline here is Shawn Michaels has a belt that he claims he is the rightful owner of since he never lost it.  Razor’s got a belt that he won when Shawn vacated his title.  To win, you’ve got to scale the ladder and retrieve both belts.  Outstanding mullet for Shawn who’s led to the ring by Diesel.  Razor’s out to some of my all time favorite entrance music.  No ref in the ring but have a couple outside the ring.  Great back and forth action here at the beginning.  Diesel gets involved and nails Razor on the outside.  He promptly gets removed from ringside for the duration of the match.  This naturally makes no fucking sense cause there are NO RULES in this match, so technically what he did was just fine.  In any case, the match continues and Razor removes the padding from the concrete and immediately gets back body dropped out of the ring onto the exposed floor.  Sucks for you Razor.  HBK gets the ladder and begins laying into Razor.  He hits the “ass out” elbow off the ladder which is hilarious.  HBK slams Razor and then proceeds to splash him off the ladder for a what I consider to be my first true “holy shit” moment in professional wrestling.   Razor turns it around and nails Shawn with the ladder out of the ring.  Razor attempts to climb the ladder but Shawn comes off the turnbuckle knocking Razor off the ladder.  Both men climb the ladder and Razor hits a suplex off the ladder.  At this point, the original ladder is broken and twisted.  Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music and follows that up with a big pile driver.  Shawn then “rides” the ladder out of the corner onto Razor – great spot.  Shawn sets up Razor under the ladder and attempts to climb the ladder.  Razor back up and knocks Shawn off the ladder who gets crotched on the top rope in the process.  Shawn’s leg gets wrapped up in the ropes and he can’t get free to stop Razor from climbing the ladder and grabbing the belts and the victory.  Absolutely AWESOME match which is why it made my Top 10.

WWF Championship
Bret Hart defeated Yokozuna (c) (with Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette)
Roddy Piper is the special guest referee for this match and Yoko once again comes to the ring first.  Interesting to note that this is the second WrestleMania is a row where this is the billed main event.  Nice that we get an actual match this time rather than the screwy “Insert Hulk Hogan As Champ” that we got last year.  Bret’s really limping on his way to the ring selling his injury from his previous match nicely.  Yoko takes over early and is in charge for the majority of the match.  Bret manages some offense and Yoko strikes back to take the advantage.  Piper is REALLY fast with his counts on chokes, count outs, etc.  It’s very weird that for such a big guy, Yokozuna never really sweats.  He’s gassed but not sweating.  Yoko charges into a corner and misses which Bret follows up with a bulldog, a forearm off the 2nd rope and a clothesline leading to a bunch of near falls.  Bret goes for another and is caught with a big belly to belly suplex.  Yoko drags Bret to the corner to go for the Banzai Drop and falls off the ropes?  What the fuck?!?!?  Bret gets the pin without another move.  Absolutely terrible ending to a pretty decent match.  Post match, the locker room empties and comes into the ring to give Bret his props.  Owen comes out and scowls at Bret as the show goes off the air.

General Thoughts

• The Heavenly Bodies beat The Bushwhackers in a dark match.
• Throughout the DVD, we’re showing “WrestleMania Moments” from the previous events.
• I absolutely LOVED Vince McMahon when he was a “just” a ring announcer.  Pure gold on the mic.
• The opener here between Bret and Owen is better then the entire WrestleMania IX card put together.
• The “celebrities” for this event are terrible.  Sy Sperling (the Hair Club For Men guy) and a Bill Clinton lookalike?  Come on.  Rhonda Shear and Donnie Whalberg as timekeeper and announcer?  The one bright spot here is Jenny Garth as the guest timekeeper for the main event… nice.  Love me some 90210.
• The ring sounds completely “hollow” during the counts.
• Pretty sloppy programming as there was a 10 man tag match that was apparently scheduled and scrapped.
• Even though there’s some stinkers in here, the fact that it contains two of my Top WrestleMania Matches makes it a decent show.

Event:

Gorilla Monsoon on the mic for this outdoor event at Caesars Palace.  They’re referring to it as “the world’s largest toga party”.  I’m sure that’s supposed to be clever, but it comes across and being completely lame.  When Howard Finkel is announced, he’s referred to as “Finkus Maximus”.  I can’t begin to tell you how incredibly retarded this looks.  Caesar and Cleopatra are paraded down to the ring to welcome the fans.  I understand it’s Vegas, but this is ridiculous.  Macho Man comes to the ring eating grapes and Bobby Heenan comes to the ring riding a camel… backwards.  Lord almighty.

WWF Intercontinental Championship
Tatanka (with Sensational Sherri) defeated Shawn Michaels (c) (with Luna Vachon) by countout
Decent little opener with the IC title on the line.  Early on, HBK goes up and off the top rope.  Tatanka hits him with an arm drag mid air which looks awesome.  Shawn has an injured shoulder (coming into the match) and Bobby, Ross and Savage remind us like a billion times.  Tatanka takes over and goes to work on said shoulder.  A while later Shawn manages to his the crescent kick – not billed as Sweet Chin Music yet – and proceeds to throw Tatanka over the top rope and really go to work on him.  Tatanka goes for a “Hulk Up” type move which I thought was reserved for Hogan and the Warrior. * shrug *  He takes over and slingshots Shawn into the corner.  Shawn to the top rope and Tatanka catches him with a power slam – very nice.  HBK then goes for a flying cross body on the outside and misses.  A few minutes later, Shawn levels the ref, Tatanka hits his finisher and naturally doesn’t get the pin cause there is no ref in sight.  Ref finally calls for a countout on HBK in a huge WTF moment.  Sherri was completely worthless at ringside during the match so it only makes sense that Luna nails her post match so Tatanka can carry her out.  Decent match with a pretty piss poor ending.

The Steiner Brothers (Rick and Scott) defeated The Headshrinkers (Samu and Fatu) (with Afa)
Jim Ross waits until the second match of the card to whip out “slobberknocker”.  Scott Steiner was always a big guy but he REALLY buffed up during his Big Poppa Pump days.  Looking at him here by comparison he looks small.  Steiners start off the match by coming off the top rope and leveling the Shrinkers.  JR tells us that Sherri has been attacked back stage by Luna.  Um… who cares?  Scott gets slingshotted over the top from the middle of the ring (wow) and gets his ass kicked on the outside.  Scott has been isolated essentially the whole match.  Not sure if Rick was hurt or they were purposefully showcasing Scott.  Rick finally gets tagged in and goes apeshit crazy.  The Shrinkers go for a Doomesday-like finisher but Rick catches one of them mid air and slams him off the other Shrinker’s shoulders!  Holy shit for sure.  Scott back in to hit a franken-steiner for the win.  Enjoyable match even for this non tag fan.

We’re 50 minutes into the show and we’ve had 2 matches.

Doink the Clown defeated Crush
Recap of the Doink/Crush feud.  Doink makes a reference to Crush having “double vision” later this afternoon.   If you know what’s coming this is a terrible pun.  Crush takes charge at the beginning of the match.  Crush hits a neckbreaker that used to be called the Rude Awakening.  Crush totally in charge for the majority of the match.  Doink gets a little offense in and then Crush reverses him off the top into a power slam.  Doink tries to crawl under the ring but Crush catches him.  Crush goes for his finisher and Doink escapes and goes under the ring.  A second “Doink” comes from under the ring and they take out Crush with a loaded fake arm (good thing we had the recap or the folks would have no idea why this is relevant).  The two Doinks look at one another and do a “mirror” image thing.  After the match referees come down to look under the ring and of course they don’t find anything.

Razor Ramon defeated Bob Backlund
This is one of those “huh” type matches that I never quite get.  Razor shows some power moves at the beginning of the match.  He also shows that his move set hasn’t changed one bit in the last 20 years.  Backlund follows up with a couple of the world’s worst hip tosses.  He follows this up by a complete whiff of a dropkick.  Follow that up with a TERRIBLE looking atomic drop and it makes you wonder why the WWF ever put the strap on him.  Ramon gets a small package out of fucking nowhere for the victory.  Completely worthless match.

WWF Tag Team Championship
Money Inc. (Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster) (c) defeated The Mega-Maniacs (Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake) (with Jimmy Hart) by disqualification
Hogan and Beefcake come out second to a small cloud of red and yellow smoke.  Hogan is SMALL  and on top of that his eye is all kinds of fucked up.  Mega-Maniacs in charge early and Hogan actually looks good in the ring.  Almost no offense from Money Inc. and they finally decide to leave the ring.  They’ve obviously decided to say “Fuck it” and are willing to lose the match via count out.  The ref then rules that if the get counted out they will not only lose the match but the titles as well.  Heenan goes berserk and Money Inc. back in.  DiBiase manages to slap the Million Dollar Dream on Hogan in the middle of the ring.  I cannot for the life of me remember ANYONE ever getting out of that hold, which naturally means Hogan will do it.  Instead, IRS and Beefcake come in to break things up.  Ref tries to get IRS out of the ring and Beefcake puts the sleeper on DiBiase.  Both Hogan and DiBiase are out and we finally get a hot tag to Beefcake.  A while later, DiBiase manages to hit Beefcake in the back with their (obviously loaded) briefcase and Money Inc. takes over.  They take off Beefcake’s “titanium” mask that he had worn to the ring and threaten to break his face (I guess).  Beefcake fights back with a double clothesline and gets the sleeper on IRS.  The end comes when we get a ref bump, Hogan uses the “titanium” mask on DiBiase.  With no ref in sight, Jimmy Hart jumps in the ring, puts on a striped jacket so he looks like a ref and counts the 3.  He presents the Mega-Maniacs with the titles.  Another ref comes from backstage and raises the hands of IRS.  After the match, Hogan/Beefcake pose down, open the briefcase to find a brick and wads of cash which they throw to the crowd.  Savage closes this by saying, “The Mega-Maniacs ARE the Mega-Maniacs.”  Um… OK, thanks Randy.  LONG match which is decent except for the swerve non-ending.

Lex Luger defeated Mr. Perfect
Mr. Perfect gives a less than perfect interview and essentially walks off screen.  A whole slew of “thonged” ladies lead Lex to the ring as he’s in his Narcissist phase.  Perfect playing the face and takes control early hamming to the crowd.  Luger takes over and goes to work on Perfect’s back.  Luger working the power moves even though Perfect is rocking the awesome Body Glove gear.  Talk about a fashion that I don’t miss.  Perfect fights his way back and gets a couple of very near falls.  Luger hooks a backslide for the pin but Perfect has his legs on the ropes (though the ref didn’t see it).  Luger hits the “loaded elbow/forearm” post match and knocks Perfect out cold.  Where the hell are the backstage refs THIS match?  Backstage, Perfect goes after Luger and HBK gets involved (huh)?  While this was pretty sloppy, this is the first time that I remember them doing any “backstage” stuff on camera during a Mania event (aside from promos).  Not the worst match on the card, but definitely not the best either.

The Undertaker (with Paul Bearer) defeated Giant Gonzalez (with Harvey Wippleman) by disqualification
Gonzalez comes to the ring wearing a crazy suit with muscles spray painted on.  I’ve seen some bad wrestling outfits in my day, but this one definitely takes the cake.  With that getup he looks like a complete douche bag, but God DAMN is that guy big.  Note that the Undertaker is 6′ 10″ and looks small by comparison.  This is a pretty typical “big man” match for most of the time with Giant in charge.  Quite a few rest holds here for absolutely no reason.  Undertaker is still going with the whole “mystical urn” gimmick at this point in his career.  Giant eventually grabs a rag with some “chloroform” on it and puts Taker out getting DQ’d in the process.  Undertaker out cold in the middle of the ring.  Fucking ridiculous ending.  We get a ton of officials out from the back and hear Savage say, “This is bad” like 100 times.  Taker is stretchered out of the ring and Gonzalez proceeds to choke slam a referee.  It’s absolutely crazy how small the ref is in comparison.  The gong hits and Taker staggers back to the ring.  Gonzalez selling this like he’s seen a ghost.  Undertaker hits a couple of clotheslines and it’s over.  Thankfully.

WWF Championship
Yokozuna (with Mr. Fuji) defeated Bret Hart (c)
Before this match gets started, we get an interview with Hulk Hogan where he explains that he’d been beaten up the night before.  He then goes on to challenge either Bret Hart or “The Jap”.  Wow.  As the competitors make their way to the ring, the announcers keep talking about how big of a favorite Yoko is.  God DAMN is he big.  Bret starts the match very quickly with a running dropkick.  Yoko literally runs over Bret and then tosses him out of the ring.  Bret gets Yoko’s foot tangled and manages to get some good offense in during a pretty innovative spot.  Bret hits a couple of clotheslines but doesn’t take Yoko off his feet.  Yoko follows this with a clothesline of his own which takes Bret down and continues with a HUGE leg drop.  I’m not sure how you COULDN’T get hurt when taking a leg drop from a guy as big as Yokozuna.  Yoko in complete control and we go into a rest hold.  The crowd starts with a “USA, USA” chant which is pretty funny considering it’s a Japanese guy vs. a Canadian.  Yokozuna misses Bret coming into the turnbuckle and Hitman follows with a big bulldog.  Bret goes for a Sharpshooter (good luck Bret) and Fuji takes the opportunity to throw salt in his eyes.  Bret sells it like he’s got razor blades in his eyes and Yoko gets the pin without even doing another move.  Weak ending.

WWF Championship
Hulk Hogan defeated Yokozuna (c) (with Mr. Fuji)
Hogan comes out to help Bret and Fuji gets on the mic and challenges Hogan to match right then and there (see pre-match interview with Hogan).  Bret tells Hogan to go for it and in he goes.  Fuji goes for the salt and naturally hits Yoko instead.  Hogan hits a clothesline followed by the standard leg drop of doom and get the win and the title in a “match” that lasted all of 21 seconds.  Even if you’re a big Hogan fan, this was a terrible way to end a terrible show.

General Thoughts

• Tito Santana defeated Papa Shango in a dark match.  Tito’s been relegated to dark matches… so sad.
• It always amazes me the extreme swings in attendance WrestleMania gets.  62,000 plus last year down to 16,000 plus this year.  I understand venues have different seating capacity, but that seems crazy to me.
• Randy Savage is absolutely terrible on the mic.  Ugh.  I love him in the ring and when’s on the mic as a wrestler, but when he’s doing commentary it just doesn’t work.  At one point, he talks about how people are “hanging from the rafters” but then realizes that since we’re outside and there are no rafters he needs to correct himself.
• How many times are we going to be reminded that it’s a Roman Colosseum.  We get it.
• Why is it that a move used by one guy can be a finisher for another guy as long as it’s got a cool name?
• Since when do referees watch from the back?  And not only watch, but when they see something that’s not Kosher rush to the ring to make it right?
• Looking back, there’s not one GOOD match on the card.  The opener is solid but nothing to write home about and there’s a couple of really piss poor efforts in here.  Definitely the worst Mania I’ve reviewed thus far.

Event:

At WrestleMania VI, it was announced that this event would be held at the LA Memorial Coliseum.  Between WM VI and now, the venue was changed to the Sports Arena.  According to the WWF at the time, this was due to some death threats that Slaughter had received.  Other reports say it was due to slow ticket sales.  Personally I’m of the opinion that it was the latter.  WrestleMania VI had over 67,000 people in attendance and here we’ve got just over 16,000.  Hmm.  During the intro, Hulk Hogan is now officially referred to as “The Immortal” Hulk Hogan.  In addition to the sudden venue change, this is also the first WM where Jesse Ventura is not part of the lineup which is a real bummer.  We get an a cappella performance by Willie Nelson before we get things started.

The Rockers (Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty) defeated The Barbarian and Haku (with Bobby Heenan)
If you can get past the fact that Hacksaw Jim Duggan is on the mic (which is REALLY difficult to do) and it’s a little long, this is a decent opener for the event.  The Rockers are “tag team specialists” so you’ve got to think they’re going to win this one right off the bat.  They do their little double elbow drop gimmick and run directly into a huge double clothesline by the Barbarian.  Jennetty plays face in peril and gets a massive slingshot over the top rope.  Just a reminder… Hacksaw sucks on the mic (as if that’s any surprise).  Marty goes for a cross body and gets power slammed for his efforts.  He finally gets a hot tag to Michaels who cleans house.  Jannetty gets back into the action with a drop kick off the top which Shawn follows up with a cross body off the top for the win.  Long match (10 minutes +) for an opener but a good way to start the show.

Regis, Marla Maples and Alex Trebek.  Come on WWF, can’t you do better than this for your “celebrities”?

The Texas Tornado defeated Dino Bravo (with Jimmy Hart)
Next up is Dino Bravo against the Ultimate Warrior without face paint… er, I mean Texas Tornado.  Bravo attacks before the bell and takes the upper hand before we even get started.  Tornado takes over and goes for the claw early in the match up.   Bravo regains the advantage after getting a knee up on a charging Tornado.  Bravo hits his side suplex finisher but Tornado kicks out.  Hey Bravo… your finisher didn’t work.  You’re fucked.  Dino follows that up with the worst chop ever off the 2nd rope.  He goes for it again but is caught in Tornado’s claw which is quickly followed with a “Spinning Tornado” for the victory.  I’ve never been a big fan of either of these guys so it was thankfully a pretty quick match.  I do have to say that it does suck to watch two dead guys wrestle though.  RIP fellas.

The British Bulldog defeated The Warlord (with Slick)
Pre-match interview with The Warlord (wearing some crappy Legion Of Doom gear and a Hannibal Lecter mask) and Slick.  Slick is an absolutely pathetic character and only goes to show what the WWF was able to get away with in those days.  WOW.  The Warlord talks about how no wrestler has escaped his full nelson so we can pretty much assume that we’ll see that spot sometime during the match.  In the ring we get to see these guys go at it and god DAMN are they big.  We get a couple of chest bumps and finally Warlord goes down.  Bulldog goes for a crucifix and gets slammed hard.   This is a pretty typical “big man” match but Bulldog is definitely leading the way.  He always did move great even for a big guy.  By comparison, this is much better than the WrestleMania XX match between Goldberg and Lesnar (which I was in attendance for).  Bulldog is on the short end of the stick for most of this match and then takes control with a very impressive standing dropkick.  He goes for a piledriver which gets reversed and Warlord gets the full nelson but doesn’t lock the fingers.  As predicted, Bulldog breaks the hold and gets Warlord up for a HUGE running power slam and the win.  Good match.

WWF Tag Team Championship
The Nasty Boys (Brian Knobbs and Jerry Sags) (with Jimmy Hart) defeated The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart) (c)
We get a pre-match interview with the Nastys who proceed to make a “stink and pink” reference.  Wow… talk about  a “shocking” display of guts to get off that blast on a live PPV.  We start out with some good back-and-forth action in the early going.  The Hart Foundation is simply not going for the pin and even Heenan points it out.  Bret get overwhelmed and plays face in peril for a while.  Actually that’s kind of an understatement… he’s getting his ass handed to him for a while.  Jimmy’s megaphone gets tossed into the ring and one Nasty hits the other by mistake.  The Foundation takes over and hits their finisher on Knobbs.  Jimmy then throws in his helmet (not sure why he was wearing it other than to have an excuse to have a foreign object at ringside) and Saggs blasts Anvil with it.  Knobbs rolls over and gets the pin and the titles.  Nice match with a great heel-ish ending.

Blindfold Match
Jake Roberts defeated Rick Martel
From the recap, we’re told that Jake has been “blinded” when Martel shot him in the eye with his cologne “Arrogance”.  I remember this storyline like it was yesterday as it played out over a couple of weeks on Superstars.  As we head into this blindfold match I can’t imagine that they can’t see under these hoods.  I’m guessing its essentially  a see-through mesh type bag.  In any case, once the match gets going it’s like 2 minutes before they even touch one another as they’re just playing to the crowd pointing at one another.  Kind of funny as the crowd always points Martel in the wrong direction.  Hilarious.  Martel whips Jake to the ropes and goes for a backdrop which is hysterical to watch.  Other than that kind of stuff, this starts out REALLY slow.  I think I’m going to start my own “bo-ring” chant.  Martel finally catches up to Jake and body slams him and then follows up with an elbow drop, which of course Jake has moved out of the way of.  Not sure how many times they’ll go for the “Oops, I missed cause I’m blindfolded” spot but I’m guessing this wasn’t the last time.  The crowd is really into this one and I’m not sure why.  They start up a “DDT” chant which we just know is coming.  They go out of the ring (?) and Martel grabs a chair which he proceeds to blast the ring post with.  Per my previous point there’s no way they’d be out there swinging shit around if they really couldn’t see anything.  Back in the ring, Martel hits a back breaker and goes for his Boston crab which Jake finally breaks.  Once again they stumble around the ring until they are back to back in the middle and Jake nails the DDT for the win.  Other than the last 2 minutes or so this is a total snooze fest.  Feel free to skip.

The Undertaker (with Paul Bearer) defeated Jimmy Snuka
And “The Streak” begins.  Snuka is out in leopard skin underwear… Christ.  Taker is in control from the get go but misses an elbow after a couple of minutes which allows Snuka his first bit of offense.  Snuka goes for a cross body and totally misses.  Superfly slingshots back in from the outside and Taker catches him and goes right into the Tombstone for the victory.  Snuka is essentially a jobber here.  This should have been saved for a Saturday morning show though I’m guessing the WWF wanted to show Undertaker as a bad ass kicking the crap out of a “superstar” albeit an old one.

Retirement Match
The Ultimate Warrior defeated Randy Savage (with Sensational Queen Sherri)
Career vs. career matches are never quite what they’re cracked up to be as most wrestlers never actually “retire” (See Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Roddy Piper, etc.)  That being said, this one was a great match from beginning to end.  We see Miss Elizabeth in the crowd and Warrior walks to the ring rather than dashing in as he’s known to do.  This really gives an “important” vibe to this match though it does look like he’s wearing a shredded garbage bag to the ring.  Warrior takes control from the beginning but he’s not wresting his type of match.  Savage goes for a cross body off the top and Warrior catches him, puts him down and slaps him… nice spot.  Sherri keeps getting involved until Warrior gets pissed and shoves her down.  There’s a TON of outside the ring action going on here and this really should be a no DQ match.  Not sure it was a botched spot or what, but at one point Warrior does his crisscross like 5 times and then essentially does a face plant cause he’s nowhere near Savage.  Not sure who, but someone fucked up.  We get a classic double clothes line spot and both guys are gassed.  Warrior gets a small package but the ref is out of position.  We follow this up with a ref bump and Sherri comes in to pound on Warrior but his Savage by mistake (shoe).  Savage manages to make a comeback and hits his patented clothesline  over the top and sets up Warrior for the big elbow.  Nails it not once, not twice, but 5 TIMES!  Warrior inexplicably kicks out and if you didn’t by this point you know that Savage’s “career” is done.  Warrior starts shaking the ropes and “Hulks Up” hitting clothesline after clothesline on Savage.  He hits the gorilla press slam on Savage but Savage kicks out as well.  Wow.  Warrior then starts talking to “The Gods” and starts to leave the ring.  Savage goes to the top and plans to go to the outside on top of Warrior but misses and hits the guardrail.  Another crisscross from Warrior followed by the shoulder block knocks Savage out of the ring.  Warrior dumps him back in and hits him with the same move twice more finally ending the match by putting his foot on Savage’s chest for the pin.  Absolutely outstanding match.  May have to revisit my Top 10 WrestleMania Matches and put this one on there… wow.  In retrospect, it’s kind of ironic that the Warrior won this career match and he’s essentially done with the WWF at this point.  Savage lost here and he had another decade (or 2) in the biz.  Post-match, Sherri beats down Macho and Liz comes to his rescue jumping the barricade.  Hug/love fest with Savage and Liz and there are literally people crying ringside (hey folks… this is scripted).

After the brilliant Savage/Warrior match, we follow that up with some super gay backstage stuff.  Regis is getting fitted for a casket by Taker, Trebek talks to Demolition, back to Regis with Tenryu/Kitao who don’t speak a lick of English and then back to Trebek talking with Jake & Damien.  Complete waste of time.

Tenryu and Kitao defeated Demolition (Crush and Smash) (with Mr. Fuji)
Tenryu and Kitao were on loan from another promotion so you know they’re not going to lose here which sucks cause I was a huge Demolition fan.  Asian guy #2 hits a crappy looking power bomb for the win.  Piped in crowd noise when they’re leaving the ring.  Terrible match.

WWF Intercontinental Championship
The Big Boss Man defeated Mr. Perfect (c) (with Bobby Heenan) by disqualification
Pre-match, Boss Man is bitching about how his momma’s feelings were hurt.  Come on… are we really resorting to mom jokes?  For some reason, Lord Alfred Hayes is back – worst on air WWF talent ever and that’s saying a lot.  Boss Man takes over from the beginning and crowd loving it.  Hayes and Gorilla talk about the whole Savage/Liz ending from the previous match and Alfred says it’s the most touching thing he’s seen… ever.  Um, OK.  Perfect takes over and plays the heel to perfection (excuse the pun).  God damn was he great.  His hold-the-guy-and-summer-salt-over-him-neck-snap was always one of my favorites.  A while later, Boss Man is back in control until he makes the mistake of turning his attention to Heenan.  Perfect naturally attacks from behind.  Andre The Giant (?) comes down to ringside and grabs the belt.  Perfect tries to grab it, but Andre lays out Perfect but Boss Man can’t capitalize.  Haku and the Barbarian come down and cause a DQ finish.  I remember being pissed at this outcome cause I always wanted to see Boss Man win a title.  Watching this match now I can’t help but marvel at how great Henning was.  The story here was garbage as I hate non-finishes especially at a PPV.

Next we get an Mean Gene interview with Donald Trump and Chuck Norris in the stands.  Henry Winkler is sitting right there and Gene totally blows him off until he’s ready to talk to him.  Hilarious.

Earthquake (with Jimmy Hart) defeated Greg Valentine
Blubberquake and Valentine.  Why does Earthquake flex… ever?  Total squash match here (no pun intended).  Wonder who Hammer pissed off to be in this position?

The Legion of Doom (Hawk and Animal) defeated Power and Glory (Paul Roma and Hercules) (with Slick)
The first appearance for the LOD in a WrestleMania event.  Couple of decent spots with Hawk hitting a double clothesline and Animal catching Roma off the top into a nasty looking power slam.  LOD hits the Doomsday Device and it’s over.  Essentially another squash.  I’m not a big fan of tag wrestling and this was only so so.   If you’re looking for a tag match to watch on this card definitely go with the Rockers opener.

Virgil (with Roddy Piper) defeated Ted DiBiase by countout
For the life of me, I can’t remember how Piper go inserted into this feud so I can’t tell you why in God’s name he’s with Virgil.  Million Dollar Man looking stupid at the get go with Virgil taking control.  Props to DiBiase for making himself look so bad and Virgil so good.  Crowd totally not into it and it sounds like a bingo hall.   No that isn’t a reference to ECW… it actually sounds like a bingo hall.  Not sure if it’s the bad attendance or bad acoustics in the building.  DiBiase takes over with a piledriver and goes methodical heel on Virgil really slowing the pace.  On the outside, DiBiase blasts Piper who’s on crutches for this bout.  Piper uses the crutch to bring DiBiase over the top rope where he subsequently gets counted out.  This is back in the day where people gave a shit about a count out win, so Virgil celebrates like he just gave birth.  DiBiase gets the Million Dollar Dream after the match and Piper blasts him with the crutch to make the save.  Sensational Sherri comes down to help out DiBiase and they give a bad beat down to Piper’s bad leg.  DiBiase is playing ruthless heel here… more so than I remember.  I’ve always thought of him as that Ric Flair type villain where he’ll cheat to win but have never thought of him as a really brutal heel.  This seems out of character but I might just be remember wrong.  Virgil and Piper have a “hug it out bitch” moment after the match.

After this, we get a nice little recap of the Hogan/Slaughter match up.  No matter how many times I hear it, “Pukeamaniacs” is still funny.

The Mountie (with Jimmy Hart) defeated Tito Santana
Whip to the ropes with the first move of the match.  Leapfrog and Tito hits the flying forearm.  Noggin knocker on the outside on Mountie and Hart.  Mountie hits Tito with the cattle prod and the match is over in less than 2 minutes.  Poor Tito.  I wish I knew what he did to become a jobber.  He deserves better.

WWF Championship
Hulk Hogan defeated Sgt. Slaughter (c) (with General Adnan)
Typical Hogan interview beforehand.  Once again the “F” is beeped out when he references WWF on this version of the DVD.  More recap/footage of Slaughter and Hogan.  There’s a shot in here where Slaughter has Hogan in the camel clutch and Adnan is showing the title belt to Hogan.  One problem… he’s got the belt upside down.  Hogan proceeds to rip off his shirt during the interview.  Slaughter is introduced first into the ring which always pisses me off.  Even if they’re a heel, the champ should come to the ring second.  Always.  Hogan’s “Real American” hits and he’s got himself a new shirt for his entrance.  He’s officially announced as “The Immortal” Hulk Hogan which is kind of gay if you ask me.  Seeing Hogan here one specific movie quote came to mind: “Jesus… didn’t that guy ever have hair?”  Lock up early and Hogan pushes the ref out of the way.  Crowd REALLY hot.  They’ve mentioned multiple times that Hogan can’t win the title on a count out or a DQ.  Slaughter grabs a chair on the outside and hits Hogan with it in plain view of the ref.  Hogan no sells it and we don’t get a DQ.  I have this as my Top WrestleMania Matches and in re-watching is I’m realizing it’s actually pretty terrible from a wrestling standpoint (not that Hogan ever has any “good” matches).  We get some good old back-raking action which can only be described as awesome.  Hogan in control and really giving Slaughter a beating.  Hogan for some reason goes to his aerial assault and of course gets caught when Adnan holds his leg.  This allows Slaughter to take over with a ton of heelish tactics.  More chair shots with no DQ as well as a mic cord choking Hogan out.  Sarge goes to work on the lower back with punches, boots and a Boston crab.  Hogan is essentially under the rope but decides to try and power out anyhow.  When he can’t he goes to the ropes and Slaughter thinks he’s won.  Slaughter continues to pound on the back and Adnan distracts the ref.  Slaughter covers Hogan for like a day but Adnan is still yapping.   Chair shot to Hogan and he’s busted wide open – GREAT crimson mask.  Camel Clutch in the middle of the ring on a bloody Hogan.  He finally breaks it but runs into a turnbuckle and is down for the count.  Sarge brings in the Iraq flag and places it over Hogan and goes for the cover.  Hogan kicks out, rips the flag and “Hulks Up” for the victory.  This is the quintessential Hulk Hogan moment which is why it’s one of my favs.  Match sucks, but if you’re a Hogan fan you’ll love it.

General Thoughts

• There was a dark match on the card where Koko B. Ware actually won a match and beat the Brooklyn Brawler.  Fuck Koko.
• I wonder if Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart is pissed that he never got his own entrance theme?
• Jimmy Hart must keep airbrushers in business with all of his custom made jackets.  They are AWESOME.
• It’s amazing to look back on some of the story lines and realize just how LONG they took to develop.  With the advent of monthly PPVs you just don’t get that kind of build these days.
• A couple times its mentioned that this is the “largest PPV audience in history”.  Wish I knew what the number was.
• Weird that there are very few match recaps during these old Mania events.
• The Hogan/Slaughter match made my Top WrestleMania Matches as an honorable mention.  Watching this show again, the Warrior/Savage match should be the one that represents this show.