Colorful – The Verve Pipe
This song was featured at the end of the highly underrated Mark Wahlberg movie Rock Star.  As a man who’s married to a woman WAY above my pay grade this song really speaks to me.

The show is over close the story book
There will be no encore
And all the random hands that I have shook
Well they’re reaching for the door
I watch their backs as they leave single file
But you stood stubborn, cheering all the while

I know I can be colorful
I know I can be gray
But I know this loser’s living fortunate
Cause I know you will love me either way

Most were being good for goodness sake
But you wouldn’t pantomime
You are more beautiful when you awake
Than most are in a lifetime
Through the haze that is my memory well
You stayed for drama though you paid for a comedy

I know I can be colorful
I know I can be gray
But I know this loser’s living fortunate
Cause I know you will love me either way

Look ahead as far as you can see
We’ll live in drama but we’ll die in a comedy
I know I can be colorful…

There’s Something In The Way She Moves – James Taylor
If I had to pick one song that represents the way I feel about the wife, this is it.  JT is an incredible singer/songwriter and this is by far my favorite of his tunes.

There’s something in the way she moves,
Or looks my way, or calls my name,
That seems to leave this troubled world behind.
If I’m feeling down and blue,
Or troubled by some foolish game,
She always seems to make me change my mind.

And I feel fine anytime she’s around me now,
She’s around me now
Almost all the time.
And if I’m well you can tell that she’s been with me now,
And she’s been with me now
Quite a long, long time
And I feel fine.

Every now and then the things I lean on lose their meaning,
And I find myself careening
Into places where I should not let me go.
She has the power to go where no one else can find me,
Yes, and to silently remind me
Of the happiness and good times that I know, you know.
Well I said I just got to know that:

It isn’t what she’s got to say
Or how she thinks or where she’s been.
To me, the words are nice, the way they sound.
I like to hear them best that way -
It doesn’t much matter what they mean,
She says them mostly just to calm me down.

And I feel fine anytime she’s around me now,
She’s around me now
Almost all the time.
If I’m well you can tell that she’s been with me now,
And she’s been with me now
Quite a long,
Long
Time -
Yes, and I feel fine.

Blind Faith – Warrant
I don’t think I can ever make any kind of “favorite song” list without including some 80′s hair metal.  This unreleased classic from Warrant really speaks from the heart… or the hairspray.

Darling I know you’re sleeping
But there’s something that I’ve just got to say
Wonder if you’ll hear me while you’re dreaming
You make a lifetime out of every day
Thanks to you now I know
All my dreams can come true

Blind faith in you, oh yeah,
I got blind faith in you

Your eyes keep things well hidden
Just a hint of what you’re holding inside
And the first day that I met you
I consider the first day of my life
Thanks to you now I know
All my dreams can come true

Blind Faith in you, oh yeah.
I’ve got blind faith in you
And I’m not sure that I deserve
A woman so true,
But I love, that you think I do

With You and Faith, beside me
I’m feelin’ stronger every day

Love Walks In – Van Halen
My favorite band.  My favorite of their albums.  This song captured a moment and to this day every single time I listen to this song I’m back in that moment.  That’s what a great song is all about.

Contact is all that it takes
To change your life, to lose your place in time
Contact. Asleep or awake
Coming around you may wake up to find

Questions deep within your eyes
Now more than ever, you realize

And then you sense a change
Nothin’ feels the same
All your dreams are strange
Love comes walkin’ in
Some kind of alien
Waits for the opening
Simply pulls a string

Another world, some other time
You lay your sanity on the line
Familiar faces, familiar sights
Reach back, remember with all your might

Ooh, and there she stands in a silken gown
Silver lights shinin’ down

And then you sense a change
Nothin’ feels the same
All your dreams are strange
Love comes walkin’ in
Some kind of alien
Waits for the opening
Simply pulls a string
Love comes walkin’ in

Oh, sleep and dream; that’s all I crave
I travel far across the milky way
To my master I become a slave
‘Til we meet again some other day

Where silence speaks as loud as war
Earth returns to what it was before

And then you sense a change
Nothin’ feels the same
All your dreams are strange
Love comes walkin’ in
Some kind of alien
Waits for the opening
Simply pulls a string
Love comes walkin’ in

Love comes walkin’ in
Baby, pull the string
Love comes walkin’ in
Love comes walkin’ in, yeah!

Jacob – Jackopierce
This entire album is full of introspective stuff like this, but Jacob stands out for me.  I loved this song before I had kids and now that I have children of my own it hits me even harder.

Jacob’s a fine boy
But his parents don’t get along
They hardly talk, when they do
He thinks he’s done something wrong

He heard all the screaming
As he lay down to bed
He should have been sleeping
But he listened instead

They say he’s fine
It’s not his fault
Between the lines he somehow got caught
‘And in our game
It’s more like war
I just don’t think i love you anymore’

He picked up the phone
His tears touched the receiver
His grandmother answered down in Tempe
He told her the story
That his daddy was leaving
She tried to convince him it was nothing he’d done

She said ‘you’re fine
It’s not your fault
Between the lines
You somehow got caught
And in their game
It sounds more like war
I just don’t think she loves him anymore’

Jacob’s a father
And his kids are in teens
He’s done what he could to make meager ends meet
When it comes down to family
It’s the primary goal
To keep the thing working
No matter the toll

His sons heard them screaming
About something he said
He opened the door and invited them in

He said ‘Now sons
It’s not your fault
Between the lines you somehow got caught
So when you’re hurt
You lean on the crutch
But I still love your mother very much’

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Revenge Of The Ninja (1983) – When I think of “ninja movies” this is the one that comes to mind.  Main character Cho (Sho Kosugi) swears off being a ninja only to be brought “out of retirement” by the silver-masked “demon ninja”.  Some unbelievable kills in here and off the chart action.

F/X (1986) – Bryan Brown plays Rollie Tyler, a special effects guru who is hired by the Department of Justice to fake the murder of a mob informant.  Brian Dennehy plays a cop who gets interested in the case when things go south.  Naturally some great special effects combined with a story that’s actually very compelling.

Cobra (1986) – Sylvester Stallone plays Marion “Cobra” Cobretti who’s part of the elusive Zombie Squad. He’s called in to deal with the city’s latest threat: The Night Stalker.  A quick 87 minutes of fury that stars Brigitte Nielsen in the lead female role.

Action Jackson (1988) – Action Jackson (Carl Weathers) is a Detroit cop out to bust a crooked businessman (Craig T. Nelson).  The end scene features Jackson driving a car up 3 flights of stairs to get to the bad guy.  AWESOME.  Cast also includes the smoking hot Vanity and Sharon Stone.

Tango & Cash (1989) – Ray Tango (Sylvester Stallone) and Gabriel Cash (Kurt Russell) are two LAPD cops who are framed for crimes they didn’t commit.  The flick follows them as they break out of prison and clear their names.  Two HUGE action names in one flick and they share the screen brilliantly.  Also features Teri Hatcher and Jack Palance.

THE TOP TEN
Please note these are listed in chronological order.  I didn’t have it in me to try and rank them.

The Empire Strikes Back (1980) – Many people will argue that this is a science fiction movie.  I’ll say I don’t care how you define it, it’s on my list.  I’ll admit that the original Star Wars is more of an “action” movie in my mind, but that came out in the 70′s so it doesn’t qualify for this list.  I’m not going to go into plot details here cause if you’ve never seen Empire you’re no longer allowed to read this post or this blog.  Be gone.  As I’m sure you can tell, I’m a HUGE fan of not only this franchise, but also of this iconic 2nd (or 5th depending on your point of view) entry in the saga.  Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Pricess Leia, Lando Calrissian and Darth Vader.  Enough said.  May the Force be with you!

Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981) – Just thinking about scenes from this movie gets my blood pumping.  Between Harrison Ford’s portrayal of Indiana Jones, some incredible action sequences and probably the best score to a movie ever, this one has it all.  Guns, whips, explosions, fistfights and chase scenes.  What more could you ask for in an action movie?  It’s unfortunate the the 4th installment of this franchise was ever made, but no amount of crappy sequels will ever take away from the pure brilliance that is Raiders.

Commando (1985) – When I think of Arnold, this is the one that pops to mind.  He’s certainly had some definitive roles, but for me, John Matrix is THE one.  Matrix, a retired special forces guy, has to save his daughter (Alyssa Milano pre-hotness) when she is kidnapped by mercenaries.  This leads to some incredible fight and chase scenes as well as some of the best (worst) one liners in movie history.  Arnold wasn’t interested in doing a sequel to this so the script was rewritten, retitled and given to another actor.  It became known as Die Hard.

Die Hard (1988) – John McClane played by Bruce Willis is a cop caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.  There are so many bad ass moments in this flick that I don’t dare list them for fear of leaving one off.  This is probably the most well known “stuck in one place” action flick and it’s one of my absolute favorites.  I purposefully didn’t rank this list as it would be too damn difficult, but if I did I’m nearly sure this would be at the top.  Alan Rickman plays a villain for the ages and the amount of flying glass, explosions and blood is second to none.  Yippie-kay-ay motherfuckers!!!

Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) – This is another of those “one man against the world” type movies that we’ve grown to love.  John Rambo (who we first met in First Blood, the movie that inspired this list) is given the opportunity to get out of prison if he’ll go on a mission back into Viet Nam where he served.  He’s looking for American POWs who are being held captive.  His insertion goes awry and he’s forced to make due with what equipment he’s got behind enemy lines with no backup.  This one is less “campy” than some others on the list as it’s got a real “gritty” feel to it.

The Delta Force (1986) – There’s a reason that there are so many Chuck Norris references out there in pop culture today… this film is part of the reason why.  The Delta Force tells the story of a hijacked plane en route from Athens, Greece to New York City.  Lebanese terrorists take control of the plane and take it to Beirut and begin making their demands.  The Delta Force led by Scott McCoy (Norris) and  Nick Alexander (Lee Marvin in his final appearance) are tasked with rescuing the hostages and saving the day.  This one always felt very “real” to me as the flick ends with one of the Deltas dying after the hostages have been thwarted.

Iron Eagle (1986) – When it comes to fighter jet movies from the 80′s most people think Top Gun first but I MUCH prefer Iron Eagle.   Many people think that Eagle is a copy of Gun, when in fact Eagle came out 5 months prior (Jan 17, 1986 vs. May 16, 1986).  In any case this flick tells the story of Doug Masters (Jason Gedrick) as he attempts to rescue his old man who’s been shot down behind enemy lines.  Doug enlists the help of his father’s fried Col. Chappy Sinclair (Louis Gossett, Jr.) and without the knowledge of the Air Force plan the excursion.  Top Gun was the by FAR the better performing flick at the box office, but this one makes my list.  NOTE: for Transformers geeks out there, Stan Bush said that his song The Touch was inspired by this flick.

Lethal Weapon (1987) – Widely considered the best “buddy cop” flick of all time, Lethal Weapon tells the story of soon to retire Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) and Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson) as they attempt to get to the bottom of a plot involving sex, drugs and murder.  Along the way, Riggs treads dangerously close to the line of breaking the law as he’s a bit unstable mentally.  As they dig deeper, they unearth the elusive Shadow Company headed up by a retired general along with his enforcer Mr. Joshua (Gary Busey).  As the sequels play out, Riggs and Murtaugh become great friends and there’s more comedy thrown in.  If you’re looking for a gritty action flick, this is the place to start.

Road House (1989) – I did a full review of this movie and though I didn’t have this list in mind when I wrote it, the flick was destined to be included here.  Patrick Swayze’s “Dalton” is one of those characters that the audience can really identify with.  The girls love him and the guys want to be him.  The villain here isn’t a monster or a genius… he’s a normal guy.  He’s the type of asshole that we come across in every day life which allows us to connect to the story even more so.  80′s action is all about one liners for me and this one has some of the best: “Pain don’t hurt”.  Awesome.

Predator (1987) – Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and Jesse Ventura walk into a jungle…  No this isn’t the beginning of a joke – it’s the plot of Predator.  They’re part of a bad ass commando unit that is sent into the jungle of Guatemala on a rescue mission.  When they get to their destination they find a slew of soldiers that have been skinned alive.  Before we know it, they’re in a jungle chess match with a highly advanced creature who’s sole purpose is to hunt and kill them.  While there’s not a ton of story this flick delivers from the word go.  And seeing as this is a list of ACTION movies that’s what we’re looking for here.

COMMENTS
I’d be remiss not to point out that 4 movies not listed here are part of my Guilty Pleasure Top 10 that could just as easily have been included here: Megaforce (1982), The Beastmaster (1982), Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (1985) and Big Trouble In Little China (1986).  In addition, this was a VERY difficult list to put together cause there was just so much awesomeness in the 80′s.  Please don’t think that I forgot about stuff like Conan, Tron, Jedi, Mad Max, Missing In Action, Platoon, Aliens, etc.  I had 15 spots to play with and the list had to end somewhere.

Interesting to note that Stallone is in here in 3 roles (4 if you include the flick that inspired the list).  Schwarzenegger is in here twice as is Carl Weathers (though Weathers was a supporting character in one movie).  If you’re a fan of 80′s action flicks, you’ll want to check out the upcoming release The Expendables as it’s looking to be an 80′s action fan’s wet dream.  Cast includes: Stallone, Lungren, Willis, Schwarzenegger and others… WOW.

The Shining (1980)
Starring Jack Nicholson is his definitive role, Shelley Duvall and Scatman Crothers, The Shining is directed by Stanley Kubrick based on a novel by Stephen King.  That right there should tell you all you need to know about its brilliance but I’ll continue.  The film tells the story of writer Jack Torrance (Nicholson), who takes a job as caretaker of the Overlook Hotel which always gets snowed in during the winter months.  Jack’s son Danny discovers that he’s got an ability to see ghosts and he begins to go crazy.  Jack on the other hand suffers from a severe case of writers block and eventually goes completely nuts.  Between “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” and “redrum” this is an incredibly quotable movie and as with every Kubrick flick you’re going to see some freaky shit in there.

The Exorcist III (1990)
Remember, this is a list of my favorites – not necessarily the best horror flicks out there.  If we’re talking about this franchise the original Exorcist from 1973 is obviously a superior film, but the third installment is by far a better horror film.  This entry takes place 15 years after the events of the original film and thankfully completely ignores the piece of crap that was Exorcist II: The Heretic .  George C. Scott reprises his role from the first film and is trying to track down the elusive Gemini Killer who has been deceased for some time  (portrayed by Brad Dourif – best known now for his role of Grima Wormtongue in the LOTR films).  This flick is creepy to the max.  Any time you throw religious themes into a horror flick you open up new levels of weirdness.

Halloween (1978)
The original “slasher” film which introduced us to “The Shape” that would become known as Michael Myers.  Even if you’ve never seen this film if you’re a horror fan you’ve see homages to it.  Originally titled The Babysitter Murders the film tells the story of a serial murderer who terrorizes the town of Haddonfield, Illinois on Halloween.  Many of the “rules” that are joked about in Scream come from this film: sexually active teens, folks saying “I’ll be right back” and the concept of “Is he really dead” were all born here.  Actually this is a pretty slow slasher film in comparison to the stuff we get today (for example we get like 10 deaths in the first few minutes of the newest Friday The 13th film).  That said there’s an incredible sense of suspense here heightened by not only the camera angles used but possibly the best horror movie score ever created.

Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
Here’s another example of favorite vs. better film.  The original Nightmare is obviously the “better” film but I’d choose Dream Warriors every day of the week if I had to watch just one.  Just like Exorcist III ignored it’s sub-par previous entry, Dream Warriors makes no mention of the crappy second flick in the Nightmare franchise.  Heather Langenkamp reprises her role of Nancy who is now a specialist in dream therapy (how’s that for ironic).  She of course is consulting a new group of kids battling Freddy Krueger (a demon who murders children in their sleep which consequently kills them in real life).  The title character Kristen has the ability to draw others into her dreams making her capable of battling Freddy.  I’ve always loved the concept behind this franchise and some of the most inventive deaths ever put to screen put this on the top of my list. 

Seven (also known as Se7en) (1995)
Sometimes horror movie killers are evil incarnate.  Other times they are plodding killing machines.  Kevin Spacey’s John Doe is quite simply one of the most disturbing killers out there.  Doe is attempting to carry out 7 murders based on the seven deadly sins: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride.  This is a very dark look into the mind of a killer and Spacey does an AMAZING job bringing John Doe to life.  While he’s not physically imposing like Michael or Jason he’s definitely as scary.  This is one of those movies that’s pretty disturbing so it’s probably not one that you’ll re watch time and again but you definitely should put it in your cue if you’ve never watched it.

Saw (2004)
Saw is the first of the “torture porn” sub-genre that we’ve been treated to in recent years.  As I said when I first reviewed the film “horror hasn’t looked so good in years”.  The once per year sequels that we’ve been treated to have been garbage but this first one still stands out as one of my favorites as it’s a “thinking man’s horror movie”.  Two men awake in a strange room and are given instructions (unbeknown to the other) to kill the other.  They are the latest victims of the Jigsaw Killer, who doesn’t actually kill his victims but rather invents ways for them to kill themselves or one another.     

Hellraiser (1987)
To try and explain the plot of Hellraiser to someone who’s never seen it is like trying to eat melted ice cream with a fork.  It’s a tale of a puzzle box, demons from Hell and lots and lots of gore.  In all honesty, I have a really difficult time following any of these movies but as a horror fan that just doesn’t really matter.  Based on a novel by Clive Barker it explores the concepts of pain vs. pleasure in a truly horrific way.  The characters of Pinhead and the Cenobites are icons in this genre.

Friday The 13th Part III (1982)
A third example of favorite vs. better film.  The original Friday the 13th is incredible horror movie partly because we don’t know who the killer is until the climax of the film – in fact it’s not even the iconic Jason Voorhees that’s doing the killing in the original.  When it comes to horror icons there’s nothing quite like the hockey mask that Jason wears.  Said hockey mask makes its first appearance in this film which also contains some great kills.  This was intended to be the “final” film in the series which is shown in the final scene of the movie.  The fact that it was released in 3D gives all the more enjoyment – though it’s more just for “cheese” factor.

Scream (1996)
This is a “smart” horror movie if I’ve ever seen one.  It takes all of the cliches of the genre and plays right into them.  If you’re a horror fan I’d be shocked if you’ve never seen this one but if it was too “mainstream” for you when it came out I’d strongly urge you to see it.  The sequels were not nearly as good but the original is great.  One year after the death of Sidney Prescott’s (Neve Campbell) mom two of her classmates turn up dead (after an opening scene that is AWESOME).  From here we’re introduced to a murder mystery where no one is safe, everyone is a suspect and what you know about horror might just save your life.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Horror on a budget.  Much has been made about this film which was made for less than a million and made nearly 250 million (the the time the most successful independent film in history).    Shot documentary style it tells the story of three  filmmakers who hike into the Black Hills of Burkittsville, Maryland to film a documentary about a local legend known as the Blair Witch.  We are told that they were never heard from again and we are being shown their missing footage.  Suffice to say that the idea of “going to the corner” will never be the same again.

Alien (1979)
This is generally thought of as a science fiction movie, but the first one in the series is a straight up horror movie that happens to be set in space.  The idea of being trapped in a location has never been as frightening as it is here.  There is definitely some iconic stuff in here with inclusion of the facehugger, the Alien bursting through someones chest and the Alien itself.  Sigorney Weaver stars in her career defining role of Ripley and does an absolutely amazing job.  The sequel Aliens is many people’s favorite but for me its the original all the way.

Jaws (1975)
Based on a novel by Peter Benchley, Jaws brings terror to the screen in the form of Bruce the Shark.  Not only was this an incredible horror movie but it was the first of the “summer blockbusters” and it definitely didn’t disappoint.  For me, horror movies are at their best when the killer strikes out of nowhere and when the sense of suspense has been built throughout the film.  Jaws does an incredible job of both.  The first kill is gruesome and simplistic.  By the end of the film you see a killing machine turn the resort town of Amity Island into a ghost town.  There are some outstanding performances in here but Bruce steals the show.  We’re definitely going to need a bigger boat.

OK – so this is a list of 12 rather than 10.  As I was putting my list together I got to the end and realized that I hadn’t included Alien or Jaws.  I’d left them off the list initially because Alien is typically thought of as a “space movie” and Jaws is normally seen as a “suspense” film.  After some further reflection I’ve decided that these are horror movies in my book and with that distinction they NEED to be on this list.

Harrison Ford – Han Solo (Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi)
Honorable Mention – Indiana Jones (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Temple Of Doom, Last Crusade, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull)
This was quite possibly the most difficult on my list.  In my mind Ford has played two of the most recognizable characters in movie history.  Solo is the baddest smuggler in the galaxy and Dr. Jones is quite simply the coolest archeologist in history (no pun intended).  This would have been an even more difficult decision if Crystal Skull had never come out but with that stinker factoring into the equation I had to go with Solo.

Chevy Chase – Clark W. Grizwold (Vacation, European Vacation, Christmas Vacation, Vegas Vacation)
Honorable Mention – Irwin “Fletch” Fletcher (Fletch)
This was another difficult choice.  Fletch is one of my all time favorite movies but when it comes to a pure character study Clark is tough to top.  The physical comedy is there and you simply can’t go wrong with the tirades that “Sparky” has in every film.

Bill Murray – John Winger (Stripes)
Honorable Mention – Carl Spackler (Caddyshack)
I imagine I’ll get some flack for this one as Carl “It’s in the hole!” Spackler is close to icon status with my generation.  That said, when I think Bill Murray I think Stripes first.  The “Big Toe Hulka” speech that he gives along with the ending where he’s got the troops all in line puts John Winger at the top of my Murray list.

Mark Hamill – Luke Skywalker (Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi)
Honorable Mention – The Joker (Batman Animated)
I almost didn’t put this one on the list cause it’s just too damn easy.  But after reflection I figured THIS is what the list is all about… a role that truly does define one’s career.  Mark Hamill IS Luke Skywalker and Luke Skywalker IS Mark Hamill.  No matter how many comic books and novels I read I’m always picturing Hamill.  He’s gone on to do some great voice work but when it comes to the silver screen its Jedi all the way.

Sean Connery – James Bond (Dr. No, From Russia With Love, Goldfinger, Thunderball, You Only Live Twice, Diamonds Are Forever, Never Say Never Again)
Honorable Mention – John Patrick Mason (The Rock)
The character of James Bond is currently working on his 6th incarnation… but none of the subsequent versions have lived up to the original.  Connery was the first and in my mind will always remain the quintessential Bond.  No actor since has gotten both the suave and action sides of this timeless character.  Shaken, not stirred please.

Marlon Brando – Don Vito Corleone (The Godfather)
Honorable Mention – Jor-El (Superman)
Often imitated, never duplicated.  Brando’s Godfather has become synonymous with mob movies.  Tony Soprano came close but when it comes to running the family Vito still stands at the top of the hill.  Not only did Brando create an icon, but that film still holds up incredibly well today.  If you haven’t seen it, you owe it to yourself.

Susan Sarandon – Annie Savoy (Bull Durham)
Honorable Mention – Sister Helen Prejean (Dead Man Walking)
These days Sarandon is better known for being Mrs Tim Robbins and for her political views.  To me she’ll always be Annie Savoy.  If you’re a baseball fan of any kind then this movie has been on your radar for years.  The dialog in this flick is awesome and the interplay between Sarandon and Kevin Costner is amazing.  This was a pretty easy pick for me in terms of “definitive roles”.

Heath Ledger – The Joker (The Dark Knight)
Honorable Mention – Gabriel Martin (The Patriot)
This one is recent but just too damn easy.  Ledger’s last performance before his untimely death won him an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor – and he SO deserved it.  Prior to this Jack Nicholson held the title for “best Joker performance” and Heath ripped it out of his hands in convincing fashion.  Ledger’s death is sad on so many levels – one of them being that he’ll never have an opportunity to reprise this amazing roll.

Tom Hanks – Forrest Gump (Forrest Gump)
Honorable Mention – Josh Baskin (Big)
Tom Hanks has become one of the most well known actors of our generation.  He’s won multiple Oscars, has directed and produced.  He’s currently the #1 box office star in the world in terms of total gross (over 3.5 BILLION).  All of that said, by far my favorite roll of his is the slow southerner that just loves to run.  The film won 6 Oscars including Hanks’ Best Actor.

Sigourney Weaver – Ellen Ripley (Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien: Resurrection)
Honorable Mention – Dana Barrett (Ghostbusters)
The first Alien film is one of my all time favorites… and the second is above that.  Weaver gives a performance that is matched only by the title character.  Ripley is one of the most recongnizable roles out there (male or female).  In fact, AFI named her one of the top 10 greatest heroes in American cinematic history.  That’s good enough for me!

FINAL THOUGHTS

Just a couple of things that I realized/noticed while I was coming up with this list.  Half of the characters listed here were only in one movie.  I suppose those characters could be listed as even MORE iconic as they only had one portrayal to “make it stick”.  There are two movies (or franchises) that appear twice on the list: The Star Wars Saga and Ghostbusters.  This is most certainly due to my movie background bias.  I also find it interetsing that the character of The Joker appears twice on this list as well (though to be fair Hamill’s version is only my alternate).  Just goes to show you what an iconic figure that guy is!  As I said at the beginning… let the debates begin!

10. Delores Umbridge – Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix
This one might be a bit of a surprise, but I couldn’t find a good enough excuse to leave this dastardly educator off the list.  After having read the book, it’s clear to me there’s no character this movie series has captured more tastefully than Ministry minion, Delores Umbridge.  She’s a frightful git, and if she were a crayon her name would most likely be “bitchy schoolteacher pink”.  I think most of us have had teachers that remind us of Ms. Umbridge, which makes that much easier to loath her.  From her torturous disciplinary tactics to her unrelenting desire to take over the school, this is one serious witch.  Thankfully, she meets her demise at the end of the story.  I can only hope that she was actually torn to pieces by the Centaurs who dragged her away, perhaps that will be in the director’s cut…

9. Johnny Lawrence – The Karate Kid
There’s nobody’s ass I wanted to kick (or “see kicked”, who am I kidding he would’ve wasted me) more than blonde haired, blue-eyed, kung fu shitkicker Johnny Lawrence. Not only is he trained by an ex-Special Forces Vietnam Vet, but also accompanied by an intimidating entourage that even Jeremy Piven wishes he could’ve been a part of. Sprinkle on top a well-endowed ex-girlfriend that our protagonist has the hots for, and you have a recipe for shenanigans. But like many of his other colleagues on this distinguished list, he lives only to meet his demise. The build-up to Johnny’s fall is like none other… with a series of events that can only be likened to a Rocky Balboa training montage (including token 80′s motivational song that, when you hear it, will NEVER LEAVE YOUR HEAD). This leads us to the finals of the All Valley Karate Tournament, where Johnny falls prey to a move that would be imitated by children everywhere for years to come. Real life Johnny (William Zabka) went on to really test himself as an actor by playing a jerk in “Back to School”, and the jerky boyfriend in “European Vacation”.

8. General Zod – Superman II
What do you get when you take a jaded aristocrat, give him a cool accent and throw in a severe grudge against all of mankind?  You get Stewie Griffin from
the Family Guy.  Slap on a manicured beard and a 30 gallon Glad trash bag and you have arguably the coolest villain in the comic book universe.  Played by actor Terence Stamp, General Zod was found guilty of treason and therefore enslaved by Jor-El Corleone (Superman’s father) for all eternity in the apt named “Phantom Zone”.  After his escape, the details of which depend on the version of the Superman II you prefer (see Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut), he leads his minions earthbound to cause trouble and seek out the son of Jor-El.  After he destroys a considerable part of “Planet Hooston”, he sets his sights on the man in red and blue tights.  Zod’s powers are equal to that of Superman, which seems to better validate him as a worthy advisary to our favorite invincible alien.  Lex Luthor is a historic villain in the world of comics, but the fact that he is mere mortal really makes the fights seem unfair.  Zod could match Superman punch for punch, kick for kick.  Sadly, his hellbent determination to make Superman fall to his knees (insert joke here) ended up being his downfall.  The Man of Steel used his brains to suck the powers (insert additional joke here) right out of Zod, leading to the coolest hand crunching scene in film history.  If the Superman franchise ever hopes to take flight again, they better give serious consideration to bringing Zod back from the Phantom Zone.

7. The Shark – Jaws
I had to think twice about putting chompers, here, on the list. I was trying to avoid anything that could be considered a “mindless killing machine” (a la Jason Vorhees, Michael Myers, etc.). However, anything that I saw as a kid that still gives me nightmares to this day certainly deserves it’s due credit. Not to mention it’s one of the best damn films that has ever been made. Out of all other entries, Bruce the Shark (named after Spielberg’s lawyer) actually has the least amount of screen time. This was due, in large part, to the numerous mechanical issues the shark suffered during production. It’s not really missed… as John Williams’ masterful score fills in for the shark when his bolts were being tightened off screen. The story climaxes when this 25 foot great white begins EATING THE BOAT carrying our 3 unlikely heroes. A few minutes later he meets the business end of a bullet that pierces an oxygen tank he was nibbling on. It was said that Jaws writer, Peter Benchley, was not happy about this ending because of a complete lack of plausibility. But hey… sometimes you need an unusually large face melting explosion to stop a man-eating shark with a chip on his dorsal fin. Does he deserve any less?

6. John Doe – Se7en
To say our #6 entry is a “messed up guy” would be the understatement of any decade. This anti-hero ritualistically murders his victims using the Bible’s seven deadly sins (Greed, Gluttony, Sloth, Lust, Pride, watching the Real Housewives of Orange County, and Envy). Kevin Spacey masterfully plays the innominate “John Doe”, who like our fishy friend also has very little screen time. As much praise as Spacey deserves for this performance, writer Andrew Kevin Walker and director David Fincher were the ones who crafted this character into the sociopathic head job that he was. After killing most of his victims, John Doe anointed himself a prophet of sorts by willingly orchestrating his own demise. No matter how much you might root for our heros, you can’t ignore that sinking feeling that John Doe has his plans set in irreversible motion. In the end we have a disheveled Brad, a lamenting Morgan and a headless Gwenyth. No Hollywood ending here, folks. We’re left wondering what happened to poor Brad and Morgan as the credits roll (backwards, I might add). Perhaps we’ll find out when Hollywood gets desperate and starts pre-production on the inevitable sequel, Ei8ht… directed by Brett Ratner, no doubt.

To Be Continued…
That’s it for this installment. I’ll be back soon with the rest of the list. Until then, don’t let your meat loaf…

1. The Crow (1994) – My favorite comic movie of all time.  So dark…  So creepy and it was relatively true to the book.  Rest in peace Brandon Lee.  You were on the cusp of greatness.
2. X2: X-Men United (2003) – the intro scene alone was awesome but when you throw in the “storming of the castle” scene this is comic book genius.  I have yet to see the newest Wolverine movie but from what I’m hearing I doubt it’s going to be on this list and certainly not this high.
3. Batman (1989) – Staring Michael Keaton (Batman/Bruce Wayne), Jack Nicholson (The Joker), Kim Basinger, Robert Wuhl and Jack Palance, Batman was the first big comic book movie in years and was the first film treatment of the character since 1966′s Batman: The Movie.  The hype for this movie was absolutely incredible and the flick certainly didn’t disappoint.
4. Superman (1978) – By far my favorite “origin” movie and aside from the whole “spin the Earth to turn back time” shit a nearly flawless flick in my book.  To this day Christopher Reeve IS this character.  His portrayal of the icon was superb.
5. The Dark Knight (2008) – aside from the damn voice that Christian Bale does when he’s suited up he’s an outstanding Batman.  I think he’s definitely the best I’ve ever seen at playing the “playboy” that is Bruce Wayne.   Heath Ledger was absolutely incredible in his portrayal as the Joker.  He brought an “edge” that Nicholson didn’t have.  Full review here.

Honorable Mentions:

• The Punisher (2004) – Thomas Jane played this role very well I thought. Travolta completely overacted a non-comic character but in the end I enjoyed that character as well.
• Spider-Man 2 (2004) – When I first saw this I thought it was hands down the best comic movie I’d ever seen. I recently re-watched it and found quite a few flaws that I’d missed but it’s still damn good.  The fight between Doc Oc and Spidey is one of the best put to film.  Full review here.
• Iron Man (2008) & Watchmen (2009) – I have yet to see these flicks.  If what I’ve heard is true they’ll most likely make their way into the top 5.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

• Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant (WrestleMania III)
  This match had Hogan defending his WWF Championship against Andre in a classic match at the Pontiac Silverdome in front of 93,173 people.  It’s known as a “passing of the torch” match where Hogan slammed Andre and retained his title.  A little slow for my tastes but obviously on any top list based on the sheer magnitude of the match.

• Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter (WrestleMania VII)
  Sgt. Slaughter had won the WWF championship a few months earlier from the Ultimate Warrior. This was taking place during the first Persian Gulf war and Slaughter was playing the anti-American heel to perfection. Hogan was in full “real American” mode and wins back the title in a bloody yet completely predictable finish.

• Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs. Owen Hart (WrestleMania X)
  No title on the line – just pride.  For months Owen had been bitching about how he was in the Hitman’s shadow.  In the end, Owen won an incredible match – and then watched Bret win the title at the end of the show.  Bummer.  Rest in peace Owen.

• The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin (WrestleMania X-Seven)
  The Rock who’s playing heel at this point defends his WWF Championship against Stone Cold (playing the face).  Pre-match this becomes a No Disqualification match.  After each wrestler uses his opponents finisher, Vince McMahon comes to the ring, turns on The Rock and gives Austin a chair which he uses to pummel The Rock winning him the title.  Another “double turn” which worked beautifully.

• Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels (WrestleMania 21)
  A straight up singles match.  Once again, no title on the line – just pride and proving how damn good you can be.  There were 3 more matches after this on the card but this one definitely stole the show.  Angle wins an unbelievable match where both guys gave their all.

THE TOP TEN

• Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat vs. Randy “Macho Man” Savage (WrestleMania III)
  Months before, Savage had attacked Steamboat crushing is larynx in the process.  This is Steamboat’s first match back and not only is it a grudge match, but it’s also for the Intercontinental title which Savage had held forever.  There’s a side story here with George “The Animal” Steele and Elizabeth but the reason this is a class is purely for the in-ring action.  Steamboat wins with an inside cradle after an unbelievable match.  Many consider this the best WrestleMania match of all time – I have a hard time disagreeing.

• Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage (WrestleMania V)
  After Macho Man won the WWF Championship at WrestleMania IV, he and Hulk Hogan teamed up to form the Mega Powers (essentially to keep Hogan in the spotlight and to set up this feud).  Long story short, Savage became angry when Miss Elizabeth took care of Hogan after a beat down.  This match was billed at The Mega Powers Explode with Hogan going after the title.  It’s pretty typical Hogan stuff in the end but like I said before, I’m an old school guy and for me this is a thing of mastery.  Seeing Hogan pose down after winning the title is second to none.

• Hulk Hogan vs. The Ultimate Warrior (WrestleMania VI)
  Hogan has had the title since WrestleMania V at this point (see previous bullet).  For the first time in history this bout would pit the WWF Intercontinental title against the WWF Championship.  Also of note is this was a “friend vs. friend” match where it was about mutual respect rather than the typical “I hate you I’m going to take your title” stuff we normally get.  Warrior kicks out of the Hogan leg drop and hits his finisher to win both titles and start a great era in the WWF.

• Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. Bret “The Hitman” Hart (WrestleMania VIII)
  This is a match for the Intercontinental title where Piper is defending against the Hitman.  It’s the first and I believe only time Piper held a title in the WWF and marks the beginning of Bret Hart’s singles run where he became a dominant champion.  This is just a classic wrestling match that goes back and forth.  In the end, Hart reverses a sleeper hold and pins Piper while being put to sleep.  There’s a great mutual respect angle at the end with Piper handing Hart the belt.  Nice.

• Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels (WrestleMania X)
  This was a ladder match for the Intercontinental Championship.  Jack Tunney had stripped Shawn for not defending his title often enough and of course he didn’t think so… so there was two belts.  They were both suspended above the ring and “the ladder match” was born.  To this day, many people think this is the best ladder match in history.  Seeing “The Bad Guy” unify the IC title was an awesome spectacle for sure.

• Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs. Shawn Michaels (WrestleMania XII)
  This is the fabled “Iron Man Match” for the WWF Championship.  It’s before the Montreal Screw Job and it’s a time where both Hart & Michaels are in their prime.  The match is scheduled for an hour with the man gaining the most pin falls in that hour declared the champion.  They wrestled to a draw with Michaels trapped in the Sharpshooter to end the match.  In sudden death overtime, HBK hits Hart with Sweet Chin Music to begin his first title reign.

• Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin (WrestleMania 13)
  There’s no title on the line here – just hatred.  Hart & Austin had been going at it for months and their feud culminated with this match with Ken Shamrock as the special guest referee.  This is a No Disqualification Submission Match rendering the Stone Cold Stunner worthless.   They go back and forth beating the hell out of one another until Austin is a bloody mess and locked in the Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring.  Austin “passes out” and never does tap out but Shamrock ends the match.  This match at the same time turned Austin face and Hart heel and kicked off the “Attitude” era in the WWF.  The “double turn” is incredibly difficult to pull off and it was done flawlessly here.

• The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan (WrestleMania X8)
  Billed as Icon Vs. Icon, this match lived up to hype – but not in the way the WWF intended.  At this point Hogan has been heel ever since returning from WCW and The Rock is about the biggest baby face ever to grace the squared circle.  The crowd had other ideas however and were totally behind Hogan from the beginning of the match.  This was a back and forth match with each guy hitting their finishing move with their opponent kicking out to the shock of the crowd.  The Rock finally put Hogan away after a couple of Rock Bottoms but then returned post-match when Hogan was being beaten up by Hall & Nash.  One last Hogan posedown was in store for the crowd – I marked out so bad during this match it wasn’t even funny… totally a sign of a good match.

• Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit vs. HHH (WrestleMania XX)
  This match holds a special place in my heart because it was the main event at a WrestleMania that I ATTENDED!!!  This was the first ever Triple Threat Championship Match to headline a WrestleMania card.  HHH was the title holder and he’d been feuding with Shawn Michaels since their DX days.  Chris Benoit won that year’s Royal Rumble to win his title shot.  After an outstanding match Benoit made HHH tap out to the Crippler Crossface winning him is first World Heavyweight Championship.  Looking back now it’s pretty terrible to realize that both main event winners (Benoit and Eddie Guerro) are now no longer with us.  That said, I remember this match for what it was – superb storytelling amongst three outstanding talents.

• Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker (WrestleMania XXV)
  It’s not often that a new match makes it onto this list.  This year’s 25th Anniversary show was pretty poor from top to bottom… except for this one.  Shawn Michaels is known as Mr. WrestleMania and The Undertaker (along with all of his other accolades) has “The Streak”.  Going into this show, he was an unprecedented 16-0 and WrestleMania events.  The build up to this match was incredible with HBK getting the upper hand on Taker for a couple of weeks running.  Once the match got going it was intense from the beginning.  There were quite a few false finishes making me really wonder if The Undertaker was going to get it done.  Even in a losing effort Shawn proved once again why he’s so damn good and Taker showed that he’s really got quite a lot left in the tank.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Legally Blonde (2001) – Reese Witherspoon plays Elle Woods, a stuck up blond girl from out California that follows her boyfriend to Harvard in an effort to get on his good side.  It’s a complete chick flick that I’ll watch ever time cause it’s funny as hell and Reese looks amazing in it.  Also stars Luke Wilson and Selma Blair.

Bad Medicine (1985) – Jeff Marx (Steve Guttenberg) comes from a family of doctors so naturally he is to follow in those footsteps.  Unfortunately he’s a terrible student and is unable to get into any schools… except for a little crappy one south of the border.  Also stars Alan Arkin, Julie Hagerty and Julie Kavner.

Necessary Roughness (1991) – the fact that this film stars Scott Bakula and Sinbad should tell you all you need to know.  The Texas State University Fightin’ Armadillos have to make it through the season with a team of players that have been thrown together by circumstances.  Kathy Ireland, Rob Schneider and a tear-jerking final scene… check it out.

What Women Want (2000) – Mel Gibson receives the ability to hear women’s thoughts.  Helen Hunt plays a competing co-worker, Alan Alda plays their boss and Marisa Tomei plays one of Gibson’s conquests… SMOKIN!

Summer School (1987) – Mark Harmon plays a school teacher (Freddy Shoop) that is forced to teach summer school to a group of pathetic teens.  Other notables are Courtney Thorne-Smith as one of Shoop’s students and a pre-binge Kirstie Alley as another teacher.

THE TOP TEN

#10 – The Pirate Movie (1982)
Loosely based on The Pirates of Penzance this is a musical starring Christopher Atkins and Kristy McNichol.  Atkins plays Frederic who is contracted to The Pirate King until his 21st birthday… unfortunately he was born on a leap day so he’s got a LONG time to go.  The story centers around Frederic’s quest to gain his freedom and McNichol’s character Mabel.  This film won 3 Golden Raspberry Awards (Worst Musical Score, Worst Director, Worst “Original” Song) and was nominated for 6 more including Worst Picture.

#9 - Rhinestone (1984)
Country singer, Jake Farris (Dolly Parton) makes a bet with her manager (Freddie Ugo played by Ron Leibman) that she can make anyone a country singer in two weeks.  Freddie chooses none other than Nick Martinelli (Sylvester Stallone).  Jake takes Nick back home for a couple of weeks to give him a crash course in country living, singing, walking & talking.  Naturally there’s a love story thrown in but if you can get past that this is pure brilliance.

One of Nick’s “original songs”:

Budweiser you created a monster / and they call him Drinkenstein / And the tavern down the street is the labba-tor-eye-ee / where he makes the transformation all the time / And a stein of Dr. Buuuud is a pint of monster blood / and it does effect me different every time / Budweiser you created a monster / and they call me Drinkenstein / And they call me Drinkenstein / I’m Drinkenstein! / I’m Drinkenstein!

#8 – Jason X (2001)
Jason Voorhees (yes, that Jason reprised here by Kane Hodder) has been captured and cryogenically frozen.  In the year 2455 he is re-animated aboard a spaceship because Earth as we know it has become inhabitable.  As for the rest of the plot here goes: people try to kill Jason and Jason kills people.  There are a couple of really inventive kills here and the appearance of Uber Jason raises the bar on this 10th entry in the Friday The 13th series.

#7 – 9 to 5 (1980)
I can’t believe it happened but I’ve got two Dolly Parton films in my top ten… not sure what that says about me.  Parton, Lily Tomlin & Jane Fonda kidnap their boss (Dabney Coleman) after they learn of his plot to exploit their company.  They need to keep him captive for over a month and come up with some inventive ways to keep him from escaping.    

#6 – Big Trouble In Little China (1986)
Trucker Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) and his friend Wang Chi (Dennis Dun) head to the airport to pick up the love of Wang’s life who is subsequently kidnapped.  To rescue her they must head into the underworld of Chinatown, battle kung-fu masters and the 2,000-year-old Lo Pan.   Throw in a street gang, the “Three Storms”, a pre-Sex And The City Kim Cattrall, and a crazy tour bus-driving sorcerer and you’ve got a recipe for pure geekdom.

#5 – Starship Troopers (1997)
Think of this as a war movie meets 90210.  The cast is too “pretty” for their own good but they turn out a great little movie that is pure Paul Verhoeven.  Johnny Rico (Casper Van Dien) joins the military to follow his girlfriend (Denise Richards).  Earth is then attacked by the bug-infested planet of Klendathu and Johnny’s home is wiped out.   The rest of the flick is about how the humans battle the bugs.  Verhoeven weeves in anti-war theme sentiment, a fascist state and a intense fear of the unknown.  The rest of the “pretty” cast includes Dina Meyer, Jake Busey, Neil Patrick Harris & Patrick Muldoon.  Michael Ironside is thrown in there for a nice does of “bad ass”.

#4 – The Beastmaster (1982)
Dar (Marc Singer) is son of a king stolen at birth from his parents by the evil Maax (Rip Torn).  Dar is saved by a local villager and is taught how to fight and get this… communicate with animals!  Tanya Roberts is thrown in for a love interest and eye candy that’s completely unnecessary but for what it is the role isn’t all that terrible.  The rest of the story is pretty straight forward as Dar goes across the world looking for Maax.  There’s some pretty great fantasy sequences in here and the special effects aren’t all that bad for a movie that was made in the early 80′s.  This one spawned a sequel (which should be on any top 10 list) and a television show but neither come close to this original.

#3 - The Last Dragon (1985)
If you caught this one half way through you might think you’re watching Enter The Dragon — think again!  While the references and homage is obvious, this movie’s greatness really does stand on its own merits.  Teenage martial arts student Leroy Green dreams of becoming a great martial artist like his idol Bruce Lee.  Leroy goes on a quest to become a “master” and achieve  “The Glow”.   Along the way Leroy must confront the evil Sho’nuff, the Shogun of Harlem.  Laura Charles played by Vanity acts as the love interest for the completely socially awkward Leroy.  There have been rumors of a remake of this film starring Samuel L. Jackson as Sho’nuff.  One word… wow.

#2 – Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (1985)
The third movie from 1985 in my list here, this movie is one for the ages.  Remo Williams (played by Fred Ward) is recruited to be a secret agent when his death is faked essentially wiping him off the face of the Earth.  This movie was based on a long running series of books call The Destroyer and you know the the movie studio had high hopes for the feature film when they gave it the “Adventure Begins” tag line.  Unfortunately there was never another Remo adventure.

Remo’s mentor Chiun is played by Joel Grey and he’s absolutely awesome.  He’s a soap opera loving, ass kicking, racist, sexist pig who dodges bullets, runs on water (no shit) and completely puts Remo in his place.  There’s a little father/son thing that is developed as the movie goes along which while completely predictable is not too corny.

The plot of this one (like most of these films) is secondary to the awesomeness that is the characters.  In the interest of completeness I’ll outline it here:

• Cop becomes part of secret agency
• Cop becomes bad ass under tutelage of “master”
• Bad ass goes against “the bad guy” and wins

Yep, that’s about it from a plot standpoint.  If that ain’t enough to get you hooked I don’t know what is.

#1 – Megaforce (1982)
Pure brilliance.  The story about a rapid deployment defense unit that is called into action whenever freedom is threatened.  How can you go wrong there!  Throw in Barry Bostwick in spandex, guns, explosions, flying motorcycles and  quite possibly the worst green screen in the history of, well, green screen and you’ve got one great movie.  Actually it’s complete crap but that’s the whole point of this list.  I remember seeing this one in the theater and playing Megaforce on my big wheel for weeks afterword.  Believe it or not, there are actually some name actors in here (or at least people you’d recognize).  The aforementioned Barry Bostwick, Michael Beck, Edward Mulhare & Henry Silva all make appearances and the beautiful Persis Khambatta is there for eye candy.  I’ll definitely never argue that this is a “good” film (nominated for 3 Razzies) but I’ll tell everyone in my demographic that you need to experience this at least once.  I’m a huge movie quote guy and there are two here that stand out for me:

Commander Ace Hunter says:

“I just wanted to say good-bye and remind you that the good guys always win, even in the eighties.”

One of my all time favorite movie quotes that I live my life by (no shit):

“It’s all on the wheel, it all comes around.”

Finally I’ll leave you with this.  If you’ve got a couple of minutes check out this video.  It’s 9 minutes and 58 second of pure genius.